Bluetooth hilarity

24 Jun, '05

We had lunch today at Cafe Italia at the Seef Mall. I believe that it’s the best pizza on the island, I always over stuff myself there, and in keeping with the Friday traditions, I have!

But, in between ordering and waiting for the meal to arrive, I thought I’d take Tariq Khonji’s advice and scan the blueteeth around me to see at least what dimwitted names I could get. And those I got aplenty.

Have a look at these moronic gems:

سفير الغرام @ ٥٨٢٦٤
[translation: The Love Embassador @ 58264]

*ناعمه*
[translation: soft – as in female]

… صاحب السمو …
[translation: his highness]

1.5.5.5.4.0

آحلي واحده
[translation: the most beautiful female. note: all I could see around me are more like “طبجه نعال” or “the back end of a bus in English!]

الربان
[translation: the captain]

مزاااااااااااااج
[translation: moooooody or moooood]

خريج سجون الحب
[translation: graduate of the prisons of love] or some bullshit like that. This has GOT to be the lamest, slimiest one I have EVER seen, I couldn’t decide whether this was from the one picking his hairy nose as he was eating, or the drooling slimebucket sitting a little away from the first one!

CRUNCHY

بلتثني و بلتثلك
[translation: bluetooth me and I’ll bluetooth you!]

لكزس ٣٠٠
[translation: Lexus 300] huh? I guess whoever it is wants to let people know that they’re middle class and possibly female whose dad had to borrow to buy her that car. okay then.

ما آبي آحد
[translation: I don’t want any one]

دهن العود
[translation: ‘oud scent] this is supposed to be an expensive Arabian perfume made of sandal wood. trying to show that that person showers more than normal and douses themselves with oil?

$YPrivateY$
that Y is supposed to be the Yen symbol, but I couldn’t bother finding it on the keyboard.

(Shadow)
aha… so?

نيراراوي ٠٥٥٥٢٥٥٩٩٥
this asshat actually put his mobile number and a halfassed name as his bluetooth id! [translation: nirazawi 0555255995] yes it’s a Saudi mobile number, so go ahead, he obviously wants to talk to strangers!

Blue Shark

Real Prince

Mafi Mushkila!
[translation: No problem!]

Some people need to be taken out and shot to be put out of their misery. I’ll pay for the bullets!

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Comments (30)

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  1. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    Sadly thats how many bahrainis and gulf nationals meet threw sending text messages and swapping numbers and not human smiles. The rest of the world has already capitalized on this, and you can find date/love lines where you can either text or call in, and be hooked up with someone that meets your search criteria.

  2. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    haha thanks Mahmood, that was hilarious.

  3. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    i’ll have to correct you on the pizza .. best one in Bahrain is Mino’s Pizzaria Italiana in Adliya

  4. mahmood says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    so why not invite me and we’ll go together, then I’ll invite you to Cafe Italia then we can write a definitive Pizza guide of Bahrain! Seriously!

  5. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    so whats your handel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. mahmood says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    “go away”

    but after seeing this little lot, I decided to play a game, at first I changed it to “SexSlave” but as it was just 5 minutes before I left, no one took the bait. I changed that to “Yes?” since, so we’ll see what I get now! I’ll keep this post running and update with more hilarities whenever I encounter them.

  7. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    BHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    mahmood you have me splitting my sides!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    btw my favourite pizza place in ba7rain is PAPA JOHNS! 🙂
    in the alawi complex 😀
    its loooooooooovely

  9. GB says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    The 7’aleegy guys and girls in the UK do the same thing here, it’s quite funny to see what kind of rubbish they send, especially if they can’t figure out who you are 🙂

  10. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    Thanks for the link to Tariq’s article, he definitely has some interesting things to say (mostly in his article regarding the fuckedipation of the new and supposedly “improved” Bahrain and its younger generation who seem embarrassingly pretentious, attention-seeking and lazy).

    One of the worst things in Bahrain nowadays is the laughable guys who insist on leaning against a girl’s car outside of cinema complexes and malls:

    “Hello. I’m leaving. Can you please back off the car?”
    “Where are you going, sweetheart?”
    “Pepper-spray island. Now go sit on a traffic cone.”

    What I wouldn’t give to gouge their eyes out with a fondue fork to make them realize that not even a desperate milf would fall for their rediculous attempts at flirting with any girl in existence. A friend of mine used to enjoy being fat merely because no one would bother her, but boy has that changed. They’ll hit on a decaying cross-eyed rat, if they knew it was female.

    “Whatddyawant from me? I’m fat! I have disease-ridden shins that make me walk in loops and my face looks like a severe case of herpes.”
    “So? You’re a girl! What’s cookin’ in dat kitchen yo?”

    You get the idea. Especially if you’re a girl who must deal with these dreadful, monotonous situations, daily, which makes me go all homocidal.

    ES

  11. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    “…
    Some people need to be taken out and shot to be put out of their misery. I’ll pay for the bullets!”

    Oh man.. That must have been the best commentary! Made my day @ work!

    Mahmood for president!

    Tim.

  12. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    hahah Hilirious. makes me remember all the funny werid names i find sometimes when i’m bored waiting for my food to arrive or the movie to start. . . some ppl are lame enough to put something like “men in brown”, once i remember seeing some guy with the alias of الدلوع then added his phone number… hahahaah

  13. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    Finally Mahmood writes something worth reading.
    “the back of an English bus”? Sounds like Mahmood’s ex.

    Do me (my current bluetooth name)

  14. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    Wow. Is it just me, or was the above comment totally uncalled for?

    I’ll be the first to note the obvious [b]fact [/b]that Mahmood has [i]always[/i] something constructive to say, and arguing against that will be like debating the color of dust. He leads one of the few blogs that don’t make me want to throttle myself.

    Keep up the exceptional work, Mahmood.

    ES

  15. mahmood says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    As I don’t have an ex, I’m fine with that comment, but what about your mother-in-law? That must be some piece of work!

    And I see you still didn’t change your bluetooth id! Shame on you!

  16. mahmood says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    nah, forget him.. he’s ALWAYS abrasive. It’s his way of showing his love! 😉

  17. mahmood says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    oh man that is sick! But you crack me up ES:

    They’ll hit on a decaying cross-eyed rat, if they knew it was female.

    😆 I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re that desperate to go for anything, as long as it’s got a hole between two legs! 🙂

  18. mahmood says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    glad you like it and you can manage my presidential campaign! 😀

  19. chalk66x says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    Had a friend in Riverside in the late 60’s who’s line at the park was “come back to my closet and we will make mad passionate love”. It worked for him all the time but when I tried it no luck. I even tried Zappas “want to hop in the backseat of my Gremlin and get your rocks off”, so maybe blootooth is what I need.

    billT

  20. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    Well, com’n.Let’s get this in perspective….before we had blue tooth, guys used to write their phone numbers on little pieces of paper, fold them up and then throw them at women or leave them under the windscreen wiper on a lady’s car.

    Ah HAA ! This is what progress through technology means….

    But, yes Mahmood, I had always thought that Cafe Italia pizzas are the best – sometimes I’ll be at work and this craving overcomes me and I have to leave everything and stuff my face.

    BUT, Adliya is much closer to home….so how about it — maybe a bloggers meeting for people who (like me) don’t blog…a ‘blog contributors’ meeting?

    The Johnster (lost that email with my password – can you resend please?)

  21. mahmood says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    no problem on the way! I’ll take you up on your offer when I come back from a short trip next week.

  22. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    ياطارشي ود السلام ورده للي عيونه والهدب مسوده

  23. Alireza says:

    Re: Bluetooth hilarity

    No problem about not blogging. Of the regulars at the meetup I don’t blog and neither until recently did Tariq Khonji.

    Without contributors like us Bahrain’s blogs would be seriously incestuous, and like the product of interbreeding there’s the real risk they’d be slack-jawed, cross-eyed and mentally deficient.

    Its us who make the waves in the mainstream of blogs – even if its often just the equivalent of pissing in the town resevoir.

  24. mahmood says:

    Re(1): Bluetooth hilarity

    hear hear!

  25. anonymous says:

    Re(1): Bluetooth hilarity

    LOL!

    B.U.S.T.E.D @ BIC

    cheers,
    strav.

  26. anonymous says:

    Bluetooth hilarity

    This has GOT to be the lamest, slimiest one I have EVER seen

    Some people need to be taken out and shot to be put out of their misery. I’ll pay for the bullets!

    Remember, COURTESY IS CONTAGIOUS! Please refrain from personal attacks, flames and insults

    Right.

  27. laura says:

    yes mahmood, cafe italia had the best pizzas, it got better and better however its gone down! The italian chef is gone! There was a young guy with a brit accent in his suit always there to help you and caracks jokes and smiles! our kids love to go there just to enjoy the margarita pizzas and meet him, he too is gone??????

  28. mahmood says:

    Laura I agree. I had a stomach ache for two days after having a pizza there a couple of weeks ago, and they were not the best we have had there, the base is not as good and the sauce was not at its best, nor is the service.

    I can tell you that we won’t bother going in there again… Good thing we have a choice in Bahrain. The latest “best lunch” in my book at the moment is Lilo Cafe in Adliya, their hamour with lemon on mashed potatoes is (trying not to sound too gay) to die for!

    Give them a go…

  29. tarekooo says:

    hey mahmood gf BT names , buti have some if u need

    No devices found
    VIRUS FOUND
    Handz up or ill bluejack u
    Send me pron
    حابس إبليس في كيس

  30. tarekooo says:

    i have a mistak of what i wrote srry instaead of: hey mahmood gf BT names , buti have some if u need .”its hey ma7mood i got gd BT names”
    btw BT means Bluetooh.

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