How to screw up a conspiracy

20 Sep, '06

1. document everything, just in case you need to save your ass.
2. continuously shout out “it wasn’t me” and practice making puppy eyes.
3. depend on morons, just like yourself, who too can’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.
4. spend a lot of money and keep receipts. see 1.
5. hire some mercenaries to write up a plan for you, because your two brain cells ceased to make a spark when rubbed together.
6. base that plan on purely sectarian motives.
7. depend on a bigoted zealot to write your justification to further marginalize the other side.
8. oh, and discard your main mercenary once the report is handed in… effectively turning that mercenary against you, but only after he collected every conceivable incriminating document against you first!

now excuse me for having to go and have another shower as I feel dirty after reading the filth… I’m pretty sure it will surface on several sites around the internet by tomorrow for you to read for yourselves, until then…

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Comments (12)

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  1. chan'ad says:

    I just had a look at it… wow…

    I wonder what His Majesty had to say to the leaders of the political societies

  2. chan'ad says:

    i wonder if this is related in anyway:

  3. Anonymous says:

    Fingers crossed that the streets in the villages stay quiet and espicially manama.. this needs to be played correctly against the goverment not by violence that will act against them…. Am so sad yet so happy that such a gem fell in our hands.

    Long live Bahrain.

  4. Anonymous says:

    espicially in manama* correction i know manama isnt a village 🙂

  5. Anonymous says:

    Read all about it! (In Arabic)

  6. mahmood says:

    You’re right anon, it’s got to be handled correctly. And the correct way of handling it by the government which it implicates is:

    1. investigate the claims, and act on them
    2. if any of the reported claims is proven, the government should resign forthwith and elections held immediately
    3. if any of the reported claims is proven, and as the prime minister is the one directly responsible for government, he should not be allowed to form another one.
    4. find out who actually is behind these acts
    5. find out who financed it
    6. find out who participated in writing it
    7. ensure that they are either thrown out of Bahrain if they are not Bahraini, or if they are, ensure that they never hold any sensitive position again
    8. most importantly, find out if any part of this report has actually been enacted and shut it down
    9. if it is just a “scenario” and a matter of opinion, nothing could be done about it, but clearly the writers are at best extremely sectarian, and at worst seditious and should be removed from their positions immediately
    10. the clandestine nature of the transactions though is extremely worrying and should be investigated to see if an infraction of the laws has occurred, and if so present all those involved to court
    11. in any case, the primary people implicated here have lost all credibility and should tender their resignations if they have an ounce of self respect; if they don’t then the government should remove them, so we should bid adieux to the head of the CIO, Dr. Raed Shams, Mohammed Al-Qaed, et al.

  7. I says:

    Not sure, but this may be relevant.

    What actually gets done about it will be another matter. . .
    Will it get buried in red tape like the Dhow disaster, or going further back, did we ever get a concrete result as to why the Gulf Air plane crashed, or was that hushed up as well? I think we suspect it was pilot error, but has anyone actually admitted that yet?

    Lets wait and see what, if anything comes of this.

  8. . Hamad says:

    I do believe that there is credibility to this report… or why should there be a reason for the king to start his damage control campaign… they know they cant go on denying it, they need to fix it. they will probably try to break a deal.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Ok waay off-topic but i had to say this…

    did we ever get a concrete result as to why the Gulf Air plane crashed, or was that hushed up as well? I think we suspect it was pilot error, but has anyone actually admitted that yet?

    I read the final accident report by the ICAO. It was pilot error (and a really bad one i might add). The press – as usual – covered it up pretty well.

  10. Anonymous says:

    The internet site mentioned in the report

  11. Bahrainiac says:

    Way-way-off-topic (con’t):


    “The aircraft crashed into the Persian Gulf and exploded in flames while attempting to land at Bahrain International Airport. The crew decided to perform a missed approach after it was determined the aircraft was coming in too high and fast. Instructions were given for a 180 degree turn and climb to 2,500 feet. While performing the missed approach the plane suddenly descended rapidly from an altitude of 1,000 feet and crashed into the shallow waters of the gulf approximately 1 mile from the airport. The accident was a result of a fatal combination of factors, including the captain’s failure to comply with standard operating procedures and the copilot’s actions in not drawing the captain’s attention to the deviations of the aircraft from the standard flight parameters. The captain may have suffered a “spatial disorientation” to ground warning systems, which could have made him falsely perceive the aircraft was pitching up. He responded by making a nose down input, resulting in the aircraft starting to descend, when aircraft warning systems were saying he should increase altitude.”

  12. Wannabe says:

    I think you’ve got to appreciate that GF’s Standard Operating Procedures & It’s ‘cultural for safety’ (or lack of) were very much contributing factors to the tragic accident of GF072. As with many fatal air accidents, they’re often a sequential chain of events that go wrong. Here is a short list to give you an idea of what I’m talking about. These items were all brought to the surface and investigated after the accident.

    GF’s pathological & bureaucratic culture (at the time):

    – Staff & Management didn’t like/didn’t want to know of bad news
    – Whistle-blowers were punished (ie. demoted/sacked)
    – Responsibility was shrinked (whenever possible)
    – Failure was punished/or concealed
    – New ideas (relating to safety) were actively discouraged (nobody wanted to deal with extra work load)
    – When a mistake was made, individuals attempted to hide them
    – Responsibility wasn’t shared – and was heavily compartmentalized

    In all, you can see how this really was an accident waiting to happen.

    Quite sad.

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