Suicide pledge

10 May, '07

Suicide pledge - GDN 10 May 2007

Ehm, not to belittle the tragedy and the obvious cry for help, I just couldn’t help but burst out laughing when I read that last paragraph!

This is a girl who attempted suicide who has had her stomach pumped and rather than try to understand the problem so they can resolve it, their idea of a solution is to take her to a police station to sign a pledge to not attempt suicide again!

Yes folks, that’s the deterrent which a girl intent on ending her life is going to pay heed to, a pledge not to do it again.

Morons.

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Comments (29)

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  1. Proud Bahraini says:

    Sad but true..

    How do you expect a person that had her stomach pumped pledge to not try to suicide again?

    I feel sorry for the poor kid it is rough to be a teenager she will get over it soon i hope so.

  2. Mitmallel says:

    من الحب ما قتل :biggrin:

  3. Esra'a says:

    Wow I didn’t know our teenagers are that emo.

  4. Aliandra says:

    Suicide is actually a felony in some parts of the US. Of course, you can’t enforce it. Lots of life insurance companies won’t pay out if the death was self inflicted.

    Helping someone to commit suicide will get you into big big legal trouble.

    I feel sorry for the girl, but how much is teenage theatrics and how much did other problems contribute?

  5. Sara says:

    Of course teenage girls are known for being “drama queens” but suicide takes the drama to another level. Indeed there is a much deeper reason than just teenage drama. This boils down to cultural and religious reasons such as the fact the in Islam people are not allowed to date hence the boyfriend was out of the question for the family. There is the “family shame factor”- how could the family allow their daughter to bring shame to the family by allowing her to freely go about with her boyfriend. Finally, if this boy isn’t from the right village/tribe or a family member, it is probably out of the question that they could ever marry. Keepin’ it in the family is common and preferred practice still.

    The poor girl probably feels that she’ll never have the chance to marry her boyfriend and fears getting trapped into an arranged marriage. She has probably been treated pretty horribly by her family when they found out about him.

  6. Butterfly says:

    This boils down to cultural and religious reasons such as the fact the in Islam people are not allowed to date hence the boyfriend was out of the question for the family.

    The poor girl probably feels that she’ll never have the chance to marry her boyfriend and fears getting trapped into an arranged marriage. She has probably been treated pretty horribly by her family when they found out about him.

    While I agree with Mahmood that signing a pledge is a funny solution to the girl problem and will not stop her from trying it once again, I don’t see why this become a cultural/ religious drama.

    A teenage needs an advise/understanding parents but this doesn’t mean that the parents should approve whatever they do or choose.

    We all were teens once and I am sure that many of us thank god now that our parents were there to stop us from committing some horrible mistakes.

  7. Wow. This argument has spiraled down into a sociological discussion on teenage angst – a perennial conundrum, which will just lead everyone into a bottomless pit. Did we get off topic here?

  8. Maverick says:

    One of the reasons the morons wanted her to sign it was in case she attempted it again and survived they can legally prosecute her for violating a legal agreement with the law enforcement officials. :whistle: 😉

  9. Maverick says:

    Dating is not against Islam. Dating with a chaperon present is a done thing these days even in Iran although the religious muttawa frown upon it. What Islam forbids is engaging in immoral acts. Dating is an act to get to know each other. Physical sex is just added and not necessary at all to know each other mentally. Dialogue should be encouraged.

  10. Sara says:

    “While I agree with Mahmood that signing a pledge is a funny solution to the girl problem and will not stop her from trying it once again, I don’t see why this become a cultural/ religious drama.

    A teenage needs an advise/understanding parents but this doesn’t mean that the parents should approve whatever they do or choose.

    We all were teens once and I am sure that many of us thank god now that our parents were there to stop us from committing some horrible mistakes.”

    Yeah, her suicide attempt has nothing to do with culture or religion. It is really common for teenage Bahraini girls to openly consult their parents about their relationship with their boyfriend for guidance.

  11. Hadyn says:

    Umm if you want to do yourself it won’t really matter what anyone tries to do. Your already dead.

  12. isa says:

    Unfortunately, shrinks are strictly for the mentally retarded in Bahrain. With all the mis-education and oppressions going on, the least the government can do is subsidise this industry.

  13. Hamad says:

    What do you base that on Isa? that shrinks are strictly for the mentally retarded? I have a friend who sees a psychiatrist regularly but she’s far from being mentally retarded.

  14. There’s a lot more I could say about this, but Maverick did pose a problem with the way authorities view these problems. Since suicide is illegal, I think they tend to view it as a “crime” rather than a cry for help.
    To them mental illness or instability or possibly the pressures of growing up in a cross cultural type environment (sharia & some western) don’t count. If she were in Abu Dhabi, she might have been jailed, since that’s what they do with suicide survivors there.

  15. youhavegottobekidding me says:

    Physical sex is just added and not necessary at all to know each other mentally

    huh??

  16. Lujayn says:

    I know someone who tried to commit suicide here, and the police came to question her (thankfully she survived). They obviously didnt want her to get into trouble (attempted suicide is a jailable offence in the UAE), and so they pretended to understand that she had calculated her usual medication incorrectly and had taken a bit more than necessary. She realized what they were doing and played along, and thankfully no case was filed against her.

    It was bad enough dealing with the consequences of her suicide attempt; police action against her may have sent her over the edge again.

    But my guess is the authorities think that by taking police action against them, they may think twice about trying to commit suicide again. Basically, public shaming and humiliation acting as a deterrent.

  17. Amjad says:

    Excuse me, but this is really very funny. lol

  18. isa says:

    Hamad. Granted there are exceptions, but it is generally the case that most people will not only dismiss the idea of ever seeing a psychiatrist, but would also look down upon it. I mean no disrespect for your friend, I am merely describing the way things are in Bahrain, as far as my experience goes.

  19. Hamad says:

    Putting it this way I totally agree with you, that this is more of a social problem that we -as bahrainis- relate all shrinks and psychiatrist to the “crazy”. Which makes me think, I remember many “health” campaigns in Bahrain, regarding diabetes awareness, breast cancer awareness etc but never about mental problems and issues like stress. or am i wrong?

  20. Abu Arron says:

    The stigma associated with receiving mental health counselling is a global problem. As if the weird looks from neighbours are not bad enough to deal with, quite often the families are either hostile or in denial. No, this is not the bitter voice of experience, but a counsellors point of view.

    Re pumping the stomach, I should say that, from my previous “security force” life, the experience does tend to attain a higher than 90% success rate when it comes to avoiding repeats of overdosing. Unfortunately, the ‘victims’ will try to find another method of finishing their lives. Freeway fly-over anyone?!

    I think that’s the most serious posting I’ve ever made, but mental health problems are extremely tragic and sweeping the issue under the carpet will not help these poor souls. Mind you, throwing them in jail doesn’t help either.

  21. Ingrid says:

    That reminded me of an American expats’ wife while I lived in Khobar (KSA). She had attempted suicide, ended up in a hospital and it was all a little hush hush by the Indian and Phillipina nurses because if ‘they’ were to find out that she had tried to commit suicide, she could be taken in by the police! Same thing. I guess controlling what people believe and how they behave just goes to the extreme. It is bizarre isn’t it? How can you threaten someone with some penalty if the ultimate penalty is what they would want?? What are you going to do to them?
    childish really,
    Ingrid

  22. Sad, that there is so much misunderstanding of this situation… the girl should get help, not pressure by the police. I really wonder who invented those laws…

  23. tania says:

    Abu Arron, i don’t think that it’s a global problem as you state. i think there are many countries that see it as the “thing to do”… seeing one’s therapist, i mean. i know lots of ppl in the States that have therapists and see them regularly for chit chat, more of less.

    I think the problem here is that, like what Isa and Hamad say, that there’s a stigma attached to therapy in this part of the world. It’s not seen as a good thing.

    My therapist once told me that mentally stable ppl get help… it’s the others you have to worry about. 😉

    In all honesty, I think a lot of ppl could use a good dose of counseling. There’s so much stress in the world today….. it can’t help but make for better attitudes and such. I highly recommend it… and only wish that in this girl’s case that they had referred her to a therapist. She desperately needs to talk to someone…. because I see it like Sara…. she’s desperately crying out and wants something different than her family. It’s sad that ppl aren’t given the choice here of who they want to marry w/ many being forced into marriages and then being so unhappy that one or both get involved in extra marital affairs and such.

  24. Abu Arron says:

    OK, tania, you got me. mental health therapy in the USA is a trendy thing to do. In fact, they even show off about it over lunch. BUT, in any other country it’s a different story entirely.

    You also have a point about the family involvement. Despite their best efforts (occasionally, if lucky), the victims family is too emotionally attached and is unable to perform a clear analysis of the problem and make objective recommendations as to the best form of treatment. “Snap out of it” just doesn’t help. Certainly “get control over your life” is practically impossible in some family environments.

    In short, all of the contributors to this subject matter recognise the difficulty in treating/dealing with mental health issues, but it needs a concerted and educated approach by the appropriate authorities to make any significant and helpful progress.

    Well done Mahmood, your somewhat tongue-in-cheek opening post has brought the whole subject out into the open for healthy debate.

  25. tania says:

    Abu Arron, I also think that religion, as much as I hate to say it, has something to do w/ this. There’s a book that I have entitled “Don’t Be Sad”. It basically helps you deal w/ difficult situations thru Islam. The other day, I was looking thru it and I noticed that it said that one should always keep their business a secret and not tell ppl things about their life… that it’s not good to “spill the beans”, more or less.

    I really enjoyed reading the book up until this point because I so strongly disagree w/ keeping too many secrets, especially if they’re tearing you up emotionally or hiding something bad that’s happening to you, etc. Sadly enough, I think this part of the world and probably other parts of the world go along w/ this mentality… basically it’s better not to talk about your business to others… I guess hoping that problemz will solve themselves or just go away, which never happens. This is probably why ppl don’t go to counselors/therapy.

    I think when something bad happens in families here, they want to sweep it under the carpet… thinking that it’ll look bad if ppl find out or that, like someone said, that only crazy ppl go and get help for their problems… I don’t know really, but I know that what they did to this girl won’t help her, and it makes me sad for her because it might affect the rest of her life in a very negative fashion.

    The one thing that bothers me about life here is that many families basically brain wash/manipulate and control their children, in such an unhealthy way. Independence isn’t looked at as a good thing and how dare someone make their own decisions. I know all families aren’t like this, but, sadly, many are and I think it lends itself to situations like what we see in the paper…. this girl trying to kill herself, and other things like drug use, alcoholism, violence in families, abuse, etc. etc.

    I hope frank discussions like this will help ppl see that things need to change…. but… are ppl, who need this information and need to change, reading this blog?? OR listening? Probably not … so the cycle continues. With some ppl… it’s only when something bad hits you square in the face will a change occur.

  26. Abu Arron says:

    Hi again tania,

    I think between us we’ve agreed that something has to be done and you’re probably right – we can’t guarantee that the people who can change things do read this blog. However, I feel quite confident that they do – if only to make sure Mahmood doesn’t overstep the line. BUT, even if they do read our comments, chances are they are so blinkered in their ways that……….

    By the way, in the West (certainly the UK) attempted suicide is still, technically, a criminal offence. However, the victim doesn’t end up in court but is referred for immediate psychiatric assesment and treatment (thankfully).

    As, probably, a final entry on this subject there are UAE families that are intelligent enough to acknowledge their children are having problems and hire private counsellors to provide assistance (subject to absolute secrecy). How do I know? My wife is qualified in psychiatry.

    And the biggest cause of their behavioural problems? The enormous chasm of difference between the “strict” Islamic doctrine of acceptable behaviour versus the behaviour (and apparent total freedom) of westerners on vacation. An interesting, almost impossible to resolve, conundrum.

  27. neno says:

    However it her family with her whatever she wrong or rite

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