Satanwala rises anew

2 Aug, '07

Pouting Islamist MP Salah Ali the Muslim Brotherhoods bloc head in Bahrain

And he’s got a new recruit too. The surprising thing – well, unsurprising really – is that this “phenomenon” seems to be a feature of the Muslim Brotherhood specifically. First it was our effervescent Mo Khalid, the original Satanwala, then now it’s the big kahuna at Al-Menbar Islamic Society who has done some “good Internet research” into this “phenomenon” and as in today’s Al-Wasat, he has lectured about it to kids at the old age pensioner’s home in Hidd.

Brilliant.

Let’s read what he has to say about it and educate ourselves from this font of knowledge:

كم أعمارهم؟

وبحسب علي، فإن من تم القبض عليهم من أعضاء عبدة الشيطان في غالبية الدول العربية تتراوح أعمارهم ما بين 15 و24 سنة، وأنهم من خريجي المدارس الأجنبية، ولا يعرفون شيئاً عن الإسلام على رغم أنهم مسلمون، كما أنهم لا يحفظون الفاتحة ولا أياً من سور القرآن، ولا يعرفون أركان الإسلام ولا معنى الشهادتين، ولا أياً من القيم الإسلامية، على حد قوله.

كيف يتعارفون؟

وأفاد علي بأن لعبدة الشيطان أسلوباً في التعارف يكون بصبغ الشعر باللون الأسود وحلق الشارب وقص اللحية بشكل غريب ووضع الكحل حول العين ولبس الملابس السوداء اللماعة وإطالة الشباب شعرهم وربطه من الخلف وارتداء بعضهم قرطاً فضياً في أذنيه ولبس السلاسل والقلادات التي ترمز لشعارهم وعقيدتهم، وتطيل الفتيات أظافرهن ويستعملن «روجاً أسود» مع ارتداء ملابس رسمت عليها أشكال غريبة مثل الجماجم وصور لأشخاص يقولون عنهم إنهم مساعدو الشيطان.

من حفلاتهم

ووصف علي خلال اللقاء مع الشباب طريقة حفلات عبدة الشيطان، وذكر أنهم يذهبون إلى مقابر ثم يستخرجون جثث الموتى كما يقومون بذبح قطة أو كلب صغير يلطخون بدمائه وجوههم وأيديهم ويشربون منه، ثم يقومون بالدوران في دائرة حتى يرضى عنهم الشيطان، وإذا لم تتوافر هذه الحيوانات يخدشون أيديهم حتى تسيل الدماء منهم بعدها يتعاطون المخدرات وحبوب الهلوسة على أنغام موسيقي «الروك» الشهيرة.

عبدة الشيطان في البحرين

ولم يغفل اللقاء التطرق إلى عبدة الشيطان في البحرين، إذ قال النائب علي: «إن أحد الحاضرين للحفلات الشيطانية وهو طالب في المرحلة الإعدادية تلقى دعوة للحضور من جماعة مجهولة نظمت 3 لقاءات منذ العام الماضي في البحرين، في حين تجاوز عدد الحضور 100 شخص من عبدة الشيطان غالبيتهم من الشباب تتراوح أعمارهم ما بين 15 و22 عاماً».

وكشف علي عن أن حفلات عبدة الشيطان في البحرين أقيمت في عدة أماكن، منها الشقق المفروشة المستأجرة، المزارع الخاصة، صحراء الصخير، فلل أحد الأعضاء، حجز قاعة بالفنادق، وصالات الأندية الأجنبية.

Satanic Star

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Salah Ali has defined – with his extensive Internet research and a dolefull of hearsay – who, what, where, when and the whatfors of Satan Worship; let me elucidated – briefly mind you – the gist of what he says:

    1. Those who have been apprehended in most of the Arab countries are aged between 15 and 24 and they are private school graduates and don’t know anything about Islam even though they are Muslim, and they do not memorise the Fatiha or any of the other Quranic suras and they do not know any of the pillars of Islam nor the meaning of the two shahadas and none of the Islamic values.
    2. They get to know each other by dying their hair black and shaving their moustaches and shaping their beards
    3. They wear shiny black clothes and let their hair grow so that they tie it from behind (as in ponytail) and some wear ear rings
    4. sorry this is just getting too disgusting for me to continue to translate, here’s Google to do the dirty for you if you are that interested, or read the original text referred to in Al-Wasat above.

But basically, the hugely popular and elected Member of Parliament, the representative of ALL Bahrainis, is casting stones on large segments of society, and you know what? He’ll once again get away with it; here we have him categorically and in print categorising whom he calls “Satanists” to be those who are in:

    1. In private schools
    2. come from rich or middle class families
    3. who wear black
    4. Salafis and other Islamists such as himself
    5. What, weren’t you paying attention to his second point above?

    6. The youth of both sexes between 15 – 24
    7. Who like rock music
    8. Party in private clubs, etc

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, this is what you pay for, now sit back and enjoy the show.

The words moronic rather than satanic comes to mind when I read this “report”. Another one for the anals of journalism me thinks.

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Comments (17)

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  1. Lord Have mercy, these Satan worshipers must be killed All of them.

    For the love of logic, May I ask 1 question?

    What Satanic people?
    What parties?
    Where?

    This article was written by a moron.

    seriously I’m sick of these Brainfarts

    Although I’m not a fan of rock music or the lifestyle but I’ve heard a song by a Bahraini group that moved me (it is about someones dear person and the person died), but guess what was written about the singer after the concert.

    “he was chanting satanic verses of their holy book”

    right underneath his picture in some magazine or paper.

    and he doesn’t have the right to sue them.

    So my advice to these morons is, instead of hating people for being who they are and criticizing every and every thing (don’t judge people) live and let live.

  2. Dude says:

    Funny how my uncle is an MP, and both his son and daughter are in private schools, also how I have long hair, go to a private school, and I’ve been listening to rock music for a long time and i even play bass.

    This guy makes me sick, he needs to get punched.

  3. Anon2 says:

    HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN!

    I’m going to cut a cat’s head while listening to that noisy hard rock crap. Anyone interested in joining the fun.

    :mrgreen:

  4. Merlin says:

    There are greater problems and issues that this country needs to deal with. The question of whether satanic worshippers exist or not is not one worthy of mention. One of the basic tenets of a free and democratic society, also centers around freedom to worship. And believe it or not – that could include worshipping animals, satan, vegetables or even cartoon characters – basically whatever turns you on!

    If the only problem our country had were satan worshippers then I would say we are in pretty good shape. Ask the people in Baghdad they would probably take that in place of extremism, fundamentalism and terrorism.

    I would be curious to see this fine gentlemen’s list of priorities and agenda. But I guess we will get to see more of that anyway, everytime hes done surfing the web. Who knows whats next? Facebook – an online cult brainwashing our youth?

  5. barry says:

    Well, at least he didn’t say the internet is really the Devil’s tool like many western Christian Fundamentalists are wont to say (sarcasm).

    I adore the fact he links shaping your beard to satanism. Perhaps he’s bought into the image of the debbil with a fabulously shaped vandyke style (pointy, well groomed goatee and moustache). Personally, more men *shiould* groom their beards.

    These kinds of guys fit very well into stereotypical 1950’s style McCarthy Era America where everyone dresses neat and conservatively, no one listens to “the devil’s music”, and everyone is a good and honest man of god. If you want to see a sarcastic twist on that, look up “Moral Orel”. I’m sure there’s episodes or clips on the web somewhere (the show is not safe for work, or around children, so you’ve been warned).

  6. Lord B says:

    I better watch out, that’s for sure. I’m a teacher at a private school on the island, have a shaved head, a long pointy goatee, am American, listen to rock music, wear almost exclusively black t-shirts (albeit Harley shirts)(and except at school) and regularly frequent “establishments” on the island that have live bands. Seems the only identifier that I don’tmeet of this yahoo is the age bracket. I don’t want my kids’ parents who read this esteemed high-quality paper to think I’m spreading the devil’s word to their kids… maybe I should grow my hair, cut my goat, wear nondescript white polos, drink milk, and listen to classical music.

    Or maybe I should just stay over here in America and not come back from my vacation 🙄

  7. Ali says:

    But I thought all Bahraini’s were devil worshippers, you see in the GDN that Bahraini’s are afraid of buried cat’s heads in their gardens, are afraid of spells and want to make wishing someone harm a criminal offence.

    Whilst I don’t believe in magic, the devil, angels or anything else for that matter I do believe in miracles – you never know, maybe next time the Bahraini people will vote for proper MP’s.

  8. Abu Arron says:

    If in doubt, adopt both a neanderthal appearance (the more hair, the better) and attitude towards anything modern or educated.

    Good grief. We need to find the factory that manufactures these idiots and close it down.

  9. Dude says:

    if anyone looks satanic its his friends with the huge dirty ugly beards.

  10. naddooi says:

    I spilled my tea all over the place when i read this! And darn, i JUST missed the age bracket a month back… humph! Just when i was looking forward to re-dying my hair, getting out the nail polish, and buying some new black tops…

    seriously, do ppl listen to this guy?!

    Hrmm… Mahmood, have you considered moving ur bloggers meeting to the 13th of every month?

    Could be lots of fun! 😈

    Oh, and is that a devil smilie i just used!?! muwahahah 😈

  11. mahmood says:

    happy belated birthday Naddoi! <ooops, that’s satansitic isn’t it? WE DON’T CELEBRATE NO STINKIN’ BIRFDAYS IN IZLAM!> 😕

  12. effendi says:

    The first post says:

    Lord Have mercy, these Satan worshipers must be killed All of them.

    Followed by this:

    So my advice to these morons is, instead of hating people for being who they are and criticizing every and every thing (don’t judge people) live and let live.

    How does one reconcile this conflict of thinking?

  13. I says:

    Maybe this idiot has been watching the goings on of the ‘Black Hash’? People running around Bahrain wearing black, indulging in strange rituals. Some of us even like rock and metal music. Definitely up to no good. . .

    I
    P.S. In the original traditions, both the ‘Black’ and the ‘Monday’ Hashes are, to use the quote, ‘Drinking clubs with a running problem’ and are open to all, regardless of age, race,religion or particularly, ability.

  14. effandi

    I beg your forgiveness for I humbly approach & tackle these issues with such sarcasm.

    because you can never take a guy like him seriously, it’s like talking with a 3 years old about the daily life stresses.

  15. naddooi says:

    Well thank you for the birfday wishes 😀

    and yes you are right, I have been living in sin! Soooo many birthday (ok not THAT many) celebrated! how will god ever forgive me! 🙄

  16. barry says:

    I was thinking about Mr. “Iss da debbil!” And he reminds me of the following song:

    Where Do You Think You’re Going in That – Kelly’s Mom

    (Spoken)
    Oh, what a day it’s been.
    Let’s read my pamphlet here.
    What would Jesus do?
    For ages : 55 & older.

    #1. Love thy neighbor
    Love thy neighbor as thy self.

    Thank you lord.
    Thank you for this…
    Oh no.

    (Music starts)
    Excuse me!
    Where do you think you’re going in that?
    You’re gunna march right upstairs,
    that’s what you’re gunna do.
    March it.

    Is that a tattoo?
    Tattoos are from the devil.
    Tattoos are from the devil.
    The devil.

    You’re gunna march up to your room.
    I’m so flustered.
    You’re gunna march it woman.
    March, march, march.
    And change your clothes.

    Is that a tattoo?
    Tattoos are from the devil.
    You don’t even know Chinese.

    Why are you wearing that?
    You’re watching too much of the
    H-B-O
    Too much HBO

    Jesus Christ on a crutch.
    If you go out looking like that,
    they’re gunna think your a
    street walker.
    A walker in the night.

    They’re gunna want to pay you for
    looking like that.
    It’s wrong and it’s unclean.
    You need to change that, missy.

    Boys just wanna get in your too-too.
    Boys just wanna get in your too-too.
    I thought I told you that.
    They want in your too-too.
    And you march upstairs and you cover up that too-too.
    They’re gunna think you’re a transvestite

    We’re gunna be on Montel Williams
    for Chri-i
    You better cover it up, missy.
    I don’t wanna be on Montel.
    You’re gunna be pregnant,
    and that means I’m gunna be a grandmother.
    And you know what?
    That’ll be the seed of the devil.

    They want in your too-too.
    They want in your too-too.
    The devil

  17. Yvonne Dettwyler says:

    Never mind Effandi, don’t be a stickler. What counts the last thought: Live and let live.

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