Brace Brace Brace! Bush is in town

8 Jan, '08

Bush is coming to town.

He’ll probably fly in on a helicopter from some big tub floating in the Gulf, that the Iranians have taken an inexplicable fancy to all of a sudden, land in the naval base in Juffair, shake some hands, visit with some illustrious personages whom he will make sure they understand that Eye-Ran is pretty bad for their survival and that of the wouurld, tell them to expand the bases and use their facilities and airspace to tame the Eye-Ranians, just a bit, like, a couple of 10,000 lbs bombs strategically targeted at military and dangerous areas.

Easy peezy. No one on our side will be hurt.

Like Eye-Rack.

In and out job. And it is predestined and ordained, as the Big Guy told him.

And then his vision of a Destruction Crescent from Palestine to Afghanistan will become reality. An area that thenceforth will become known as Bushistan.

Welcome to our shores Mr. President. And here’s your todo list just in case she didn’t pack it for you:

Bush’s todo list

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Comments (43)

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  1. billT says:

    Thanks for the laugh.

  2. Capt. Arab says:

    Absolute Classic !!!! Funny but true…

  3. Anonny says:

    Gawd, remember that old shyster Kissinger and his “shuttle diplomacy” trips? He’d land in some locus of tension, fly out again and then all hell would break loose? Let’s hope this fratboy who doesn’t believe in evolution is not as crafty.

  4. Lorena says:

    Good one ya mahmood! loooooooool

    Wishing you happy new year ! for you and all yours!

  5. Lee Ann says:

    Considering the taliban…al queida…or some such group has threatened to blow him up at some point along his journey…Bahrain is a tiny island…one bomb might be all it takes…lets hope they were blowing hot air as they have done in the past many times for it would take a mighty brave King etc to stand next to an obvious moving target…

  6. Sous says:

    Hehe thanks for my morning laugh 😆 . Sounds like the something from the books “This is war” by Georgre Bush and “Tony and Me” by George Bush (ok of course they are not really by him 😉 )

  7. Amjad says:

    oww.. canada is in their to do list ? 😮

    lool

  8. Abu Arron says:

    No mention of the presidential eraser removing “the line of death”?! One of Daffy’s finest moments.

  9. bob says:

    awwwwwwwwwwwww

    bush coming over and saying goodbye to his friends after a failed legacy hoping that bahrain’s and other arab countries leaders will give him a hug and a smile that he can’t get from the american public as he leaves the white house.

    wonder what steve the american thinks about his hero war criminal coming over and shaking hands with oil-wealthy terrorists?

  10. mIKE says:

    Lets just hope he don’t order them to fly AF1 into some highrise eh?

  11. mIKE says:

    Since “Bush’s war” =
    No attacks on the US mainland, no Marines blown up while sleeping, no embassy folks taken hostage, no crippled ex-military in wheel chairs chucked over the side of cruise ships or Navy Seals on civilian airliners killed and dumped on an airport tarmack, no US ships blown up while visiting a port of call, no US bases attacked outside of Iraq or Afghan, Thanks Mr Bush, you gave us the wake up call we needed…..

  12. UNmIKE says:

    Bush (and those who support him) are war criminals!

    Spent & Approved War-Spending – About $600 billion of US taxpayers’ funds. President Bush has requested another $200 billion for 2008, which would bring the cumulative total to close to $800 billion.

    Iraqis killed – 655,000

    Iraqi Police and Soldiers Killed – 7,751

    Journalists killed – 125, 82 by murder and 43 by acts of war

    Journalists killed by US Forces – 14

    3,905 US Soldiers Killed, 28,822 Seriously Wounded

    Opinion poll: 72% of US TROOPS say end war now

    From VETERANS AGAINST THE IRAQ WAR:

    “Internet Pioneer/Satirist/Government Teacher Puts President George W. Bush Up For Sale on Ebay!”

    “There are 300 million Americans. Each one of us owns 1/300th million of George W. Bush. It is the citizens of this country who own the office of the President of the United States . I am just doing this on behalf of the 50% of American citizens who cannot wait one more year until another man or woman assumes the position of the Presidency.

    “He is a Lame Duck President. Nothing effective or representing the will of the American people will come forward over the next year. He is essentially powerless with a Democratic controlled Congress. And Dick Cheney? He’s Lame and he goes Duck Hunting and we all know what happens when that takes place,”

    eat that you redneck!

  13. Nine says:

    UNmIKE
    I support George Bush and I am no war criminal! The worst thing that I ever do is killing the odd fly that invades my dinning room!

    It is really sad to read about all those deaths in Iraq and the huge cost to the American tax payer.

    You can not blame George Bush for that. Can you? The war on terror was triggered by Alqaaida. The war in Iraq was instigated by Saddam’s refusal to allow fair and clean inspection of his weapons of mass destruction. The fact that he turned out not to have them is not the issue.

    George “Wonderful” Bush visit to Bahrain is a great thing to the island. I wish him a very nice stay.

  14. ammaro says:

    i don’t think george is a war criminal. george doesn’t really have the brain power to create all that has been created in the past 7 years. he’s just a puppet, and he plays along. someone bigger is pulling the strings here.

  15. While creating Bushistan is certainly not Dubya’s intent, I must thank Mahmood for the idea. What a wonderful improvement it would be for most Middle Easterners to live in lovely Bushistan than in their own unlovely states. I’ll bet I can find a lot of Iranians who opt for Bushistan rather than Mullahstan.

    Bushistan has a free press, property rights, courts of law, and you can vote for your leaders. Bushistanis have a future, unlike their neighbors whose future is owned and controlled by their rulers. You can wear what you want, say what you want, think what you want. All Hail Bushistan! May you be so fortunate to live there!

    As for Canada, it’s already part of the USA as everyone knows. The paperwork just hasn’t gone through yet.

    I must go work on the design for the Bushistani flag, now. The anthem, too. I’m thinking it might go like this.

  16. Unmike: “Bush (and those who support him) are war criminals!”

    And the people who oppose Bush tend to be demagogues dealing in silly sweeping baseless accusations.

    Unmike: “Spent & Approved War-Spending – About $600 billion of US taxpayers’ funds. President Bush has requested another $200 billion for 2008, which would bring the cumulative total to close to $800 billion.”

    Another unbalanced argument from a Bush critic, who present costs but never benefits of the policies they oppose. The direct and indirect costs of the Sep 11 attacks totalled $200 billion at last count. $800 billion to redirect the Muslim jihad against America back to their homes rather than ours is a fabulous deal at twice the price.

    Unmike: “Iraqis killed – 655,000”

    The Iraqis killed are more probably somewhere between 30,000 to 40,000. Some of those Iraqis, such as the evil Baathists who ran riot over the Iraqi people, deserved to be killed and Iraq is better for their deaths. Certainly it’s good that Saddam is dead.

    Many, if not most, of those Iraqis killed were killed by Muslim jihadis fond of bombing crowds of shoppers at the local souq and by insurgents. Right now, for every innocent Iraqi inadvertently killed by US troops, over 600 Iraqis are purposely killed by insurgents, jihadis, and criminals. You are on the wrong side.

    It’s also interesting to note that Bush critics have a pathological need to dishonestly inflate the numbers in their accusations. The 600,000 dead Iraqi figure is pure nonsense, thoroughly debunked, and preposterous. It’s inflated by an order of magnitude.

    By contrast, you don’t find the same dishonest inflation on the American side. You won’t find anybody claiming the Muslims killed 300,000 people on Sep 11. When the facts favor your side, you don’t need to fabricate more favorable facts to support your argument.

    Unmike: “Iraqi Police and Soldiers Killed – 7,751”

    The Iraqi police and soldiers are being killed by the insurgents and jihadis whose side you support, not by Bush nor America who is training and arming them to defend Iraq. In the last week, three Iraqis soldiers died trying to take down a suicide bomber who killed them and a handful of civilians who were celebrating Army day. Supporting the side of the suicide bombers who are tearing up Iraq is immoral.

    Unmike: “Journalists killed – 125, 82 by murder and 43 by acts of war
    Journalists killed by US Forces – 14”

    As your numbers show, the other side is hunting down and killing journalists because they oppose free speech. We don’t assassinate journalists.

    Some of these journalists inadvertently killed by American forces died because they were clueless about their environment, like the cameraman who shouldered his camera in the middle of a battle and pointed it at a tank, who took it for an RPG launcher and shot him. Other journalists who were killed were embedded with the insurgents. I recall the tape of one Arab journalist who was killed which showed shell casings being ejected from a Baathist machine gun emplacement directly in front of him. Taking video over the shoulder of a combatant shooting at American forces is a very dangerous place to be.

    Unmike: “3,905 US Soldiers Killed, 28,822 Seriously Wounded”

    I’m very touched at your show of concern for US soldiers killed and wounded. I’m sure they would be, too.

    Unmike: “Opinion poll: 72% of US TROOPS say end war now”

    More manufactured facts. The wounded troops I have talked to at Walter Reed Army Medical Center here in Washington, DC overwhelmingly support the war. Only about a third are against it. Likewise the general population of the US military supports winning the war.

    Unmike: “From VETERANS AGAINST THE IRAQ WAR:
    “Internet Pioneer/Satirist/Government Teacher Puts President George W. Bush Up For Sale on Ebay!””

    This shows how deeply silly and unserious Bush’s critics are.

    Unmike: “eat that you redneck!”

    If the racists hate us, we must be on the right side.

  17. Salman says:

    I just read that the protest has been given the green light. Very ironic of the government. Afraid Uncle Sam might invade their little island in the name of “democracy & freedom”.

    Steve, talking about being on the right side. Please research into America’s record of racism, and its current racism acts as well.

    And BTW, those numbers of the Iraqi civilians killed was also broadcast on the CNN website a long time ago. Since the CNN is a Bush Administration ass kisser, it should be true.

  18. Eric Jacobson says:

    Lots of misinformation here.

    First: ‘Bush’s War’. How many of you believe that Iraq II was a war started by Bush?

    Second: 655,000 Iraqis dead. This figure was an estimate derived by extremely flawed methodologies which have since been utterly discredited.

    Third: Saddam Hussein (who did in fact kill quite a lot of Iraqis, Iranians, Kuwaitis and Kurds) is dead. He is no longer a threat to Gulf States.

    The majority of posts here appear to be from those suffering Bush Derangement Syndrome. Do take your meds and let us know when you return to reality, yes?

    Thanks!”

  19. mdc says:

    Salman,

    You really need to get out more and stop buying into everything you read or hear; it’s getting almost silly to read your posts these days.

    Steve,

    Great posts as usual. 😆

  20. Salman: “Steve, talking about being on the right side. Please research into America’s record of racism, and its current racism acts as well.”

    Salman, I have completed my research and found that I work in a building full of people of every color and religion and none of us gives a flying leap. The only thing we care less about is the opinion of some ignorant foreigner who thinks we Americans spend our spare time lynching people because their lying mullahs told them so. Such accusations are the product of culturally illiterate people, such as you, who neither know America nor Americans.

    Salman: “And BTW, those numbers of the Iraqi civilians killed was also broadcast on the CNN website a long time ago. Since the CNN is a Bush Administration ass kisser, it should be true.”

    That’s quite the brilliant rebuttal. Actually, CNN is left of center and moderately anti-Bush, but I imagine if you are a wacky anti-American radical from the far left, the near left looks pro-Bush.

  21. Salman says:

    Steve, you speak of the racism issue from only about your own “building”. Speak about the general racism around your country.

    Let me give you a simple example. White man makes guns, sell them to everyone, perfectly OK. Black rapper says guns on one of his songs, immediate congressional hearing to have him prosecuted for inciting hate and violence. Ironic, isn’t it? 😉

  22. Nine says:

    Great work Steve and Eric Jacobson.

    Ammaro; would you please be kind enough and enlighten the readers here as to who the “someone bigger is pulling the strings here”? What you are saying is that you could see something that the people of the US (or at least half of them) could not see but you alone did. Now that is a ridiculous statement to make.

    Salman; Colin Powel was once asked if he encountered racism in the army. He said something like this; yes he encountered racism but he also traveled the world and could not find a country more perfect.

    Now can you name me a country which made a son of immigrants and of a minority as its top soldier? Or a woman from a minority group as its top diplomat? Can you name me a country where a son of an immigrant African is running for president and has as good a chance as anybody else in the race as we have seen so far?

    Your example on guns is nothing but silly. All those people who manufacture and sell guns have licenses to do that and it is perfectly legal. However, for a rapper or anybody else to incite hatred and violence is a crime and you should know better!!

  23. isa says:

    I just wanted to stand up and say that I am in support of Bush’s statements about resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. I sincerely hope that this is not a fake attempt to claim he has done his bit. In fact, it would be rather absurd if that was the case, after all Bush is in his last year in the Whitehouse, and does not have to worry about pleasing whichever interest groups/ random voters/ congress, or anyone else for that matter, as he stands to lose very little, and perhaps write off his time on a good note.

    Also, I wish to applaude(!!) late prime minister Tony Blair for joining the WallStreet ranks as an “adviser” to JPM for a yearly fat cheque. Good for you Tony.

  24. Aliandra says:

    Isa;

    I don’t think it will work. Any peace treaty will end by the Palestinians firing rockets 10 minutes after the ink has dried on the papar (past experience as a guide).

    Salman;

    American society as a whole is not racist, although there certainly exist individuals who are. And it goes BOTH ways.

    Congressional hearing for a rapper? Are you smokin’ crack? 😈

  25. mahmood says:

    and does not have to worry about pleasing whichever interest groups/ random voters/ congress, or anyone else for that matter, as he stands to lose very little

    Ah but you miss the main ingredient: one needs intellectual capacity to pull this off, a tenet not demonstrated by our dear beloved Dubya, especially after listening to him waxing lyrical about the “Jewishness” of Israel and the Holy Land.

  26. jade says:

    😆

    Some of the americans that roam Mahmood’s blog are so saaaaaaaaaad!

    they like worship this place :mrgreen:

    but they’re quite the comedians..Bush didnt come from nowhere!

    no use telling them to get a life huh 😉

    i hope though they dont hate us though

    as their great baba bush says

    “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

    peace 😉

  27. Salman: “Steve, you speak of the racism issue from only about your own “building”. Speak about the general racism around your country.”

    My experience is the general experience of the whole country. I’ve lived all over the United States, you haven’t. I’ve visited about 43 states and some territories. You haven’t. That’s why you talk in fuzzy generalities about an American racism that is long since dead. That’s why Middle Eastern people of every color can come to the US and enjoy far more opportunity than the wretched countries they depart. There is no color barrier to success here.

    And it’s really quite absurd for somebody from the Muslim world to castigate America for racism when black chattel slavery still exists among you. The Arabic word for a black person is “slave.” In addition, Arab Muslims hold brown people from places like Sri Lanka and the Philippines as virtual slaves whom they have enticed to work in their countries.

    Clean up your own house before you sling your mud, junior.

    Salman: “Let me give you a simple example. White man makes guns, sell them to everyone, perfectly OK.”

    Gun dealers come in all colors. There is no color barrier to get into any business here. The gun business is not an exclusively white business, as you absurdly claim.

    Salman: “Black rapper says guns on one of his songs, immediate congressional hearing to have him prosecuted for inciting hate and violence. Ironic, isn’t it?”

    Ignorant is the term that comes to mind. If black rappers were brought before Congress every time they mentioned guns in their songs, that’s all Congress would be doing: investigating black rappers. There has never been a recommendation by Congress to prosecute a rapper for inciting violence. Ever. There has never been a black rapper, or any singer, prosecuted for inciting violence. Nor is any such prosecution possible.

    The only place black rappers are prosecuted by Congress is deep within your fevered anti-American fantasy world. The reason you invent this imaginary nonsense is that reality does not support your position. Your inexperience and general ignorance of what America is all about leads you to concoct these wild tales with the idea that America suppresses speech just like the Arab world does, only picking different targets. I think the idea of free speech is beyond your ken. You just can’t imagine it in reality.

  28. Salman says:

    Nine, regarding your comment.

    Which country made the son of immigrants its top soldier?

    Excuse me, but the last time I checked, white people came to America and took over the place and established themselves in it. The natives of the land are the minority.

    So, who are the immigrants? The blacks? Who were taken to America as slaves and it was not even their fault that they ended up there (as immigrants as you put it) or the whites to willfully came and fought wars over a land that they just wanted as “theirs” to satisfy their greed of power?

  29. Jade: “Some of the americans that roam Mahmood’s blog are so saaaaaaaaaad!”

    Not as sad as your content-free rebuttal. Where’s the beef?

    jade: “no use telling them to get a life huh i hope though they dont hate us though”

    Don’t worry, we’re not going to crash a jumbo jet into you or vaporize you with hate. We’re above that. Please go down to the local McDonald’s and have a Happy Meal on us. Hurry before the next Danish cartoons come out and the mob from the mosques lynches Ronald McDonald again.

    Jade: “as their great baba bush says, “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.””

    Words to the wise. Now if only the Koran said Muslims can coexist with non-Muslims, what a better world this would be, huh?

  30. Salman: “Excuse me, but the last time I checked, white people came to America and took over the place and established themselves in it. The natives of the land are the minority.”

    You mean, like the Arabs conquered Egypt and made the Copts the minority? That’s really the story of the entire Muslim world around the Mediterranean basin and beyond, isn’t it? The Arab conquerers took over and made the locals who survived their subjects, living fat off the jizaya they extracted from them?

    Of course, the big difference between the Arab conquest of the Middle East and the Indian experience in America is that Indians can fully participate in American life without any constraint nor prejudice. And we didn’t force them to leave the country, like the Arabs did to their hostage populations. There were two million Indians when Columbus arrived and there are two million now. How many Jewish tribes remain in Arabia? How are those Quraysh doing these days under Saudi care? As well as the Cherokee in America?

    Salman: “So, who are the immigrants? The blacks? Who were taken to America as slaves and it was not even their fault that they ended up there (as immigrants as you put it) or the whites to willfully came and fought wars over a land that they just wanted as “theirs” to satisfy their greed of power?”

    While the ancestors of black Americans came unwillingly in chains, you couldn’t persuade black Americans today to leave America willlingly today except in chains. And, since you don’t know, a lot of black people who came here were never slaves. America is full of African and Carribean immigrants who hotfooted to the land of the free.

    Nobody owned the land in America. The Indians had no concept of owning the land. They thought in terms of territory, fighting to push other tribes out so they could get in. They treated the European tribes the same way and lost at their own game.

    However, lets step back and marvel at the hypocrisy of the worshipper of a religion which seeks to conquer the world by violence who condemns non-Muslims for fighting for territory. Weren’t Mohammed’s last words that he would fight every man until all the world was Muslim? Do you reject those words, Salman, or embrace them? Explain.

  31. sameer says:

    its a good one

    Happy New Islamic Year

  32. Nine says:

    Salman,
    Steve has done a great job in rebuking your claims and I shall only respond to your point to me;

    For all I know the father of Barak Obama went freely to the US from Kenya. He was not transferred there in chains. A similar thing applies to Colin Powell.

    It is true that America traded in slaves. There is no point denying that and I think America has done a lot since then to redress that historical injustice. America was one of the first countries to abolish it back in the 1860s and fought a bloody civil war to do so. It took some Arab countries another 100 years or even more before they abolished it!

    In fact it is claimed that the Arabs were the first people in history to treat blacks as slaves. As Steve has mentioned the Arabic word for a black man was and still is slave (abed)! There are even those who would go as far as saying that Islam did not abolish slavery at all but rather sanctioned it and may have even encouraged it.

  33. ammaro says:

    nine; bush (or any other president) doesn’t come up with the full strategy for the country. he has advisors, researchers, and the rest of the governmental body to give him advice on what to do. if you think one man (or woman, if hillary is elected) makes every single decision for the US, then you’re pretty wrong.

  34. isa says:

    Collin Powell’s parents immigrated from Jamaica.

  35. billT says:

    Ammaro if GW came up with Americas foreign policy by himself hes either a genius or an idiot. Which depends on your political views I suppose.

  36. Nine says:

    Ammaro
    Well I did not say that George “Wonderful” Bush makes every single decision in the US. Did I?

    What you are saying is that the US foreign policy could only have been made by an idiot. Now that since GWB is only a puppet and that there are other people pulling the strings here then by definition all of those advisors, researchers etc that you refer to are idiots! Well that is even a more ridiculous statement to make than the one you had made earlier!

  37. Jett says:

    Well..the United States and George Bush should be getting blamed for the snow in Bagdad pretty soon. I can’t wait to read what some of you guys come up with. Unless..its all a fake story..hmm…

  38. jared says:

    On the topic of GWB’s Middle east visit, the following video dialog between an American and an Isreali journalist covers a lot of ground:

    http://bloggingheads.tv/diavlogs/7963

    Of particular interest to Gulf Arab folks may be Gershom Gorenberg’s comments about Isreali settlement policies (he’s expressed even stronger views in Ha’aretz). Anyone interested in American perpectives should read the comments; left and right of center contributors in mostly respectful and sometimes witty exchanges.

  39. Nine says:

    Jett,

    Actually people in the Middle East feel rather happy when it rains (or better still snow). Kids go dancing in the streets!!

    They would not blame GWB for the snow in Baghdad. No they would not. People like Salman and Ammaro would still blame GWB that it did not snow that much!

  40. Lee Ann says:

    Was in Manama near the Ritz earlier this evening and they have the whole area blocked off leading out that way….one guy whom I would guess lives out that way….was denied access….he did two things which I dare say in America would have got him shot…

    First he got pissed off and went speeding to the next turn off with much burning of rubber and squealing of tires etc…then when he got there that exit was blocked too and so jumped out of his jeep….and went running at the police with his fist raised cursing everything and everyone….I was holding my breath waiting to hear a gunshot…but they just waved him away…didnt take him too serious. That could have been a serious and fatal mistake if he had been anything other than a pissed off resident…you Bahrainis got a lot too learn about hosting an unfavourable leader in a possible powder keg environment.

  41. jared says:

    How right you are Lee Ann. I was once in the middle a similar but less serious incident many years ago when I was an armed topside watch as crewmember on a US submarine at a port call in St. Croix. I didn’t shoot the idiot, but it could have gone that way. He turned out to be a (drunk) US citizen from a cruise ship.

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