Valentines’ gone horribly wrong

13 Feb, '08

Look, I understand that although some need it, not everyone can afford to buy Viagra, but lust is an untameable beast and some people will go to any length for the mere promise of their own personal nirvana. Sometimes that quest can prove painful, embarrassing, stupid and more often than not all of those facets combine in the little brains (yes both of them) of unfortunate bastards.

Like this one:

nail in penis

Yes, what you are seeing in the picture above, my friends, is a nail inserted into the urethra. It had been lodged there for three days and the chap was suffering abominably, but, he wouldn’t get it seen to for a plethora of reasons, each more banal than the next. The explanations he proffered to the treating doctor was even worse! As a way of explanation, the guy “had no idea” how a nail got up his penis! “he claimed [it] was inserted there without his knowledge by a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him“!

Okay, I have no problem whatsoever with what people do to get their rocks off, as long as they don’t hurt others in the process, but offering such an asinine excuse as “not knowing” and what’s even worse, suggesting that “a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him” is a bit much. Has that now become a ready excuse? Yes I know that some Bahrainis prey on foreigners, but I think this is not an everyday occurrence. At least I hope not.

Never mind, I’ll put this down to the guy being so staggeringly embarrassed by his own private “experiment” that this dipstick just can get his brains rapped around reality.

Poor guy, I guess his Valentines’ is completely ruined. At least because of the valiant efforts of the doctors he will now live to – hopefully – enjoy forthcoming ones!

Happy Valentines’ boys and girls, and for goodness’ sake don’t do anything this stupid!

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  1. Global Voices Online » Bahrain: Ouch! | 16 Feb, '08
  1. Capt. Arab says:

    pheeew…. Painful, the thought makes you quinge like being kicked in the balls!!!! 😡
    Must be painful.. Hope it was stainless steel, and not some cheap nail he found at a construction site.
    Question… Did’nt the guy need to piss for the last 3 days?

  2. Lee Ann says:

    ouch!!! did he actually confess to putting it there himself 😯

    Some years back I read a factual medical book about ER doctors and some of the cases that were brought into the er on a daily basis…this book was a real eye opener not to mention stomach turner when we realize what humans will do to themselves to full fill some perverted sexual scenario…not to be graphic but women will insert “anything” and men will insert themselves into “anything” to get some rocks off….and I sincerely mean ANYTHING 😯 ….all I can say is….ew!

  3. Barry says:

    Someone should buy the gentleman a set of haggar sounds. Long enough not to get stuck, rounded, smooth, fine stainless steel garaunteed not to cause damage or endanger your life.

    jeeeeeeeeeze. 😈

  4. Ibn says:

    Ouch…

    …but why is this fellow’s X-ray in the public domain?…

    -Ibn

  5. mahmood says:

    Ibn, because neither the government nor the health authorities actually care, and private records like that have no sanctity whatsoever.

  6. Redbelt says:

    MY GOD! THIS IS THE WORST POST EVER!
    Mahmood, for god’s sake, don’t post things up like that, it is mentally disturbing!
    No I have to go bang my frontal lobe to a wall for 10 minutes to erase it from my memory.

  7. Ibn says:

    Redbelt,

    No I have to go bang my frontal lobe to a wall for 10 minutes to erase it from my memory.

    … Not to split hairs or anything, but technically you will have to damage your hippocampus not frontal lobe if you want to erase this image now. Your frontal lobe is only used for logical thought for the most part. 😎

    -Ibn

  8. Matthew Carrick says:

    Anyone want to buy a hamster . . . slightly used 😯

  9. Ann says:

    I am speechless. I have absolutely no words. 😯

    …although, my brother, who’s a doctor, once removed a pebble from a woman’s vagina late one night. He could not bring himself to ask her how it got there.

    People really do the weirdest things, don’t they.

  10. Salman says:

    Mahmood, I just hope this is not the real X-Ray copy, as it would be a breach of patient confidentiality.

  11. billy says:

    That is not a real x-ray.. Well, rather, the x-ray is real, but the nail is not. Could at least have done a photo shop nail, would look more realistic than the MS Paint rectangle you are calling a nail.

  12. AGA says:

    billy, you probably think you hit the nail on the head, so to speak.

  13. mariam says:

    I have sent a comment a couple of days back but hasn’t appeared, I hope this one would find it’s way to the light, just wanted to say that this is not a nail as you might think, it is a penile prosthesis, google it,,, good luck with your next medical post mate. 😆

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