[NSFW] MEN: STOP SEARCHING. G-Spot doesn’t exist!

5 Jan, '10

The illustrious and ancient fount of knowledge, the BBC, reports that scientists could not find the G-Spot even after frisking 1,800 women, so what the hell chance do we mortals have?

This issue has been used to intentionally confounded us – the male species – for centuries. So we’re really happy to finally put this slippery issue to rest. No longer will we have to be lied to, and yes, bullied by pseudo-psychotic-psychologists and so called “health experts”, and worst of all, the greatest satan of them all which thrusts these thoughts into women’s psyche and support them to continue bullying us.

We now know better thanks to science.

So in payment for centuries of abuse, we men feel that it’s OUR turn to dictate the terms. So females listen up:

  • No cuddling No more. Not under any circumstances.
  • When we’re done. You’re done. Deal with it.
  • You shall be turned on by us just looking at you. It works for us.
  • No erogenous zones beyond an area of 10 square inches.
  • Erogenous zones must henceforth be clearly marked.
  • A-la St. Clinton: Oral sex is not real sex. So either learn to enjoy it or condone its vigorous pursuit
  • “Sex on the brain” is not a bad syndrome, it’s a sign of a healthy human being. You are highly encouraged to try it some time.
  • Rolling over and going to sleep shall be an acceptable behaviour and shall suffer no ill consequence.
  • Having multiple sexual partners shall be encouraged (exclusively for men of course, as this is our training regime to keep us sharp, ready and willing to please you.)

These are just some of the new rules-in-progress. I’m sure my fellow males will help add some more pointers for you to acquiesce to. If you feel aggrieved by any of the aforementioned or forthcoming points which become negated, then that shall not invalidate any of the others, which shall continue to stand as is.

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Comments (7)

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  1. lizardo says:

    you shall accept that your guy sometimes don’t care about the sofas which HE bought with HIS OWN money and how they’re going to get dirty.

  2. coolred38 says:

    Pointing and making “small” jokes will be required fore play if the previous rules are put into force.

    btw that cartoon pic of the womans erogenous zones left out the MOST important one…the BRAIN. You get inside her brain my dear fellows…and you’ve hit THE hot spot…that one last well after the rest have cooled somewhat. Just saying

    • mahmood says:

      no no, this is a man’s perspective list, so I’m afraid your opinion doesn’t count!

      you could of course create your own opposing list if you wish! 🙂

  3. Mandy in Oz says:

    hhmmmmmmm . . . . I had come to believe this was how nearly all Arab men thought anyway !
    هههههههههههههههههههههههه

    [laughing, running and ducking >>>>>>]

    • mahmood says:

      I don’t think that we Arabs are special in this case. I contend that we Males do all think this way!! 🙂

  4. Desert Island Boy says:

    Scientists cannot reproduce female sexual stimulation.

    This is somehow “news”?

  5. milter says:

    How about the headache excuse?

    Or is that one permanently reserved for the feminine section?

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