Gudaybia School of Booze, Witchcraft and Wizardry

The Bahraini Parliament doesn't like witchesParliament’s session was actually halted yesterday due to our illustrious MPs entering into a heated argument with the Minister of Justice. Normal in parliamentary circles one might expect, yes I know, but in which parliament in the world worth its salt actually waste an already shortened term with discussing laws criminalising sorcery and witchcraft?

None, I am sure.

The minister rightly suggested that these things – if present – should be treated as fraud and as that was already covered in legislation, then no other specific amendments to the Penal Code is actually necessary. But they wouldn’t listen. To them, other than almost labelling the good minister as a heretic, this subject is of the highest importance and should not be trifled with.

Shaikh Khalid asked MPs what would judges do to solidify the sorcery or witchcraft crimes.

“Do they bring in leprechauns (actually he said ‘jinn‘ but the GDN used its poetic license) or ask them to testify that their assistance was asked by a sorcerer or witch?” he said.

Angered by the comments, Mr Busandal said that such acts were against Islamic Shariat and that the minister was not taking the issue seriously.

“Such acts are serious Islamic violations, but the minister wants us to forget the law and throw it out,” he said.

Oh I don’t know.. I wouldn’t throw it out if I were them because I would never have brought such asinine, time wasting, ludicrous legislation to the floor, but that’s me. They, of course, fancy themselves as the true defenders of the faith; hence, these matters are of the utmost importance. I wonder if these morons actually put on specially designed blinkers every morning before leaving their houses along with their Rolex watches and Mont Blanc pens, because like the rest of Bahrain, I am still aghast at their one-track minds.

Some of them slander whole institutions without missing a beat, just to prove their absurd points. Take the effervescent Satanwala for instance, while they were approving yet another bill that would ban the sale and consumption of alcohol, this time in clubs and societies, he goes on:

MP Mohammed Khalid Mohammed said that not only expatriate clubs were serving and allowing alcohol, but also the Bahraini clubs.

“The biggest example is the Alumni Club, whose members are always seen drinking inside and gambling, as if they were in a casino,” said Mr Mohammed.

I’m not sure how a ‘respected Muslim gentleman’ knows what a casino looks like, other than he might have frequented them on other occasions in his life, but to him, an august institution which contributed greatly to the development of Bahraini society is a degenerate space of drink and debauchery.

Another in parliament who actually owns an establishment which some classified as a boozing den and a brothel and rented that establishment out before taking his seat in parliament, now slanders whole countries!

MP Adel Al Asoomi said that the Ethiopian Club in his constituency in Hoora was a big example of premises being used for immoral and indecent acts.

“They (club members) are renting a flat as a club premises, and they have a pool table inside, just as a cover for their prostitution activities,” he claimed.

“The surrounding area around the club looks like Addis Ababa (Ethiopia’s capital) during their functions and most of the time people who are not Ethiopians are seen going to the club.”

And being yet another defender of the faith (hah! hold your laughter!) of course he took it upon himself to “clean” his territory – sorry, constituency – from competition – ooops, sorry again, I mean “immoral and indecent acts” as he rode on the wave of (dishing out dosh while campaigning?) decency by going on a prostitute hunt which impressed the police themselves whom his posse outshone in the methods he chose to employ!

Well, this hilarity will unfortunately be suspended from next week for 5 months. Parliament is going on summer holidays. But who knows, maybe we will find some of our hard working MPs going on “discovery” and “fact finding” trips to some of the world’s casinos, bars and voodoo dens, not to partake of what would be on offer there, of course.

When is the next election again?


  1. Barry

    Did these guys take a page from the Salem Witch Trials?

    What cracks me up is that these people are so hard up to get all up into other people’s business that other important things are probably, likely, definitely being brushed aside for witch hunts and prostitute busts.

  2. Sadek

    I would not be very surprised if they have not “experienced”, or “experioence”, the three “vices” – alcohol,prostitution and homosexuality that they seem to have become recently excited about. As for “shawaza” or magic, we see it from these gentlemen on a daily basis – hypocrites.

  3. Anonny

    I would be interested to know exactly how
    these people plan to detect crimes of
    sorcery. What methods will they use? Also,
    what penalties if found guilty?

  4. I


    I seem to have misplaced where you put the counter. The one that said ‘There are x number of days before we get rid of this parliament’. Methinks it’s about time it was reinstated in a VERY prominent position.

    Five month holidays ? ? ? And they get paid how much for doing sod all ? At least while they’re on holiday they can’t actually do anything that could really screw up the economy or country.

    So do they come back after Ramadan? I can’t really see that they would do any work during the holy month. They’ve already messed things up for the country by banning booze during Ramadan.
    No booze. No Saudis. No trade in the malls, coffee shops, hotels . . . One very, very dead month. Maybe I should think about booking my holiday during that time.

  5. Sam

    Oh man! I CANNOT wait for Halloween!!!

    I think we should all have a fancy dress up party and arm ourselves with broomsticks to say hello to our MPs outside the chamber of parliament! 👿

    It would make brilliant press coverage!

  6. anon

    اففففففف يوم عن يوم يزيد اقتناعي بعدم فايدة هالمجلس الخايب …. بعد ارد Ùˆ اسأل مرة ثانية قلتو لي جم يوم باقي Ùˆ نفتك من هالمجلس – اللي انشالله اعضائه يطلعون من الباب الشرقي لا معاش تقاعدي Ùˆ لا عماة عين – Ùˆ الناس المفروض المرة الياية تختار عدل علشان ما ايينا مجلس كل همه نانسي عجرم Ùˆ لا هيفاء وهبي او اذا ما عندهم سالفة ردو على معاشاتهم التقاعدية …. مالت بس

  7. Anonny

    One of the parliamentarians had an encounter with a “witch” in Ghudaibiya and is now suffering from a bad case of hogwarts.

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  9. T.J. Neruda

    Our poor parliament seems to have collectively gotten their knickers irreparably twisted. I’d suggest we ship them a few boxes with haste, lest this go on too much longer.

  10. ArabianMonkey

    Oh dear! If we are what we eat, it seems all our parliaments are on the same diet. The obsession with remaining distracted so as not to do any real work during their term. And the issues just pile up.

    Mishwarna 6aweel.

  11. Anonny

    Classic. Absolute classic!

    I can imagine Hayfa’s trial:

    Busandal: “She turned me into a monkey!”

    Hayfa: “I’m not a *itch, I’m not a *itch!”

    Busandal: “Hang her!”

    Hayfa: ” .. well I did do my nose ..”

    .. exit Bahrain democracy stage right ..

  12. Pingback: Global Voices Online » Bahrain: Witchcraft on the Table

  13. Dana

    when is the next election ? seriously… is not even worth it if these kind of idiots always end up gaining the majority votes! don’t vote next year…its a waste of time anyway!

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