Tag Archives morons

Oh the irony! Anwar calls the BBC yellow!

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Read these gems, but please hold your laughter!

Why the BBC ‘has let down Bahrain’s people’

By Arthur Macdonald, GDN, Posted on » Wednesday, November 02, 2011

MANAMA: The British Broadcasting Corporation moved from being a globally respected news organisation to joining the ranks of the yellow press during the unrest in Bahrain.

That is the view of Akhbar Al Khaleej Editor-in-Chief Anwar Abdulrahman.

Speaking on the sidelines of the Bahrain Chapter of the International Advertising Association meeting yesterday at the InterContinental Regency Bahrain, in Manama, Mr Abdulrahman said that the BBC had let down the people of Bahrain with its coverage.

“I have respected the BBC in the past but they seem to have had a mental change,” he said.

“What they said over the unrest turned them into yellow journalism. I suppose they were in competition with the Sun at that level of coverage and now we have a BBC that we can no longer trust.

“I hope we, as human beings, learn and repair our standards because the coverage of the BBC was damaging to Bahrain in the eyes of the world.”

He added: “The BBC broadcasts its news bulletins in every language. If only a few Bahraini teenagers burn tyres in the streets to hinder traffic, for the BBC this is big news.

“However, when the house of the most distinguished Bahraini woman journalist Sameera Rajab was attacked with Molotov cocktails last week, the BBC did not utter a word.

“I seriously question its integrity.”

To illustrate the differences in perception between the Arab world and the West, Mr Abdulrahman related the incident of a Bahraini student staying in the UK who one day found that the lady serving them in the cafeteria had disappeared.

On enquiring, he was told that she was facing some family problems. So he decided to visit her.

“Thank you for coming to visit me,” she said. “I am facing enormous problems. My husband has run away with another woman and, secondly, my 18-year-old unmarried daughter is pregnant. These are facts of life I have to face.”

Suddenly she started crying and said: “But what is really tragic is that my dog has died.”

I don’t particularly give a damn for Anwar Abdulrahman being at the head of not one but two so-called “newspapers” in Bahrain. What I do give a damn about; however, is that an organisation like the IAA not only gives him the time of day but provides him with a platform from which he spreads his filth. The IAA must’ve been desperate for a mediocre comedian to entertain them during one of their lunches. What they have done with him being there is miserably failed their members and wasted yet another opportunity to raise the level of their Chapter and its membership with something worthwhile to listen to and learn from.

This joker entertained his crowd by branding an ancient and one of the most respected media edifices in the world as yellow journalists, then he goes on to contend that “the coverage of the BBC was damaging to Bahrain in the eyes of the world“. I suppose on Planet Moron™, in which he is a founding member, that would be a believable contention, on Planet Earth; however, it just leads to hilarious, rolling on the floor, leg-cicking mirth. What does damage this country’s reputation in the eyes of the world is him and his likes obfuscating the truth and creating such tall stories to support their unsupportable positions. The damage that Anwar Abdulrahman & Co have done to this country is untold, and time, being the merciless judge it is, will one day serve them their deeds in life or chiseled on their headstones for eternity.

But Anwar being on a roll doesn’t stop at those ridiculous contentions of course, oh no, he continues by insulting the Western world in general and the the UK in particular by what he believes to be a “funny and poignant story” which he typically attributes it to yet another of his imaginary sources to bolster his tenuous position.

Journalism? Ethics? Truth? Humanity? Those facets are as far away from him as they could possibly be, but in Planet Moron™, he’s the dog’s bollocks!

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“My Garden” FAIL

It pisses me off when shop clerks think that they become salesmen simply because they carry big-ass calculators to calculate “special discounts” for prospects walking into their store.

What, does it say “mug” on my forehead?

Does respect for you or your shop happen automatically because your moronic employers actually gave you a job even though you’re most probably sludge at the bottom of a barrel from wherever the hell you come from?

So I actually wait to go into the so called garden furniture shop in Tubli, wasting 160 fils granted to Batelco to get the only published number for their shop which I find is connected to a fax machine! I wait to go into their shop with the full intention to buy some furniture – yes, I know you guessed it – for my garden. I spy some pieces which might be worth investigating in the window previously so I stop by on the way home from a fantastic lunch with the family, I even ask my wife to join me so we can quickly make a decision, plonk the cash and wait for the pieces to be delivered.

I browse while I await my wife’s arrival and I spy a teak bench exactly the same as one I already own which has become a favourite of ours. We bought it about 3 years or so ago from Manazil for BD160 and we have been searching for another to make a pair ever since. Unfortunately Manazil ran out at that time. I look at the marked price and get surprised. The label says BD400! I ask my maid – who was with me at the time – to confirm that it’s the same bench and she does. I tell the wannabe salesman that we bought the very same item for BD160 three years ago and he calls me a liar!

The stupid bastard insists that my bench is NOT teak and if it were there is no way that I would have bought it for BD160. I explain to him that my maid confirms its the same. Nope, he’s having none of it. I keep my cool and walk around the shop.

I notice that everything they have has an inflated price tag, doubtlessly awaiting deft digits – albeit belonging to single-celled organisms – to tap out “I can only give you a maximum of 15% discount” on the big-ass calculator. Nevertheless, I notice two possible sets which would fit nicely where I intended them for.

My wife arrives and notices the kidney-shaped teak bench. She too comments that it’s exactly the same as the one we have! She gets excited thinking that we should get it. I point out to the moron that my wife is the third person to confirm our happy acquisition but to him, she’s a liar too! In his single-celled brain, it does not compute that another shop in Bahrain could possibly have sold this priceless gem of his!

I’ve had enough. I tell him that I don’t care much for the price. I wasn’t shopping for a discount particularly, but I could not help wondering that if its price is inflated by more than double what we originally paid – even taking inflation into consideration – then I worry that everything in his shop must have undergone the same treatment; hence, the ready use of the big-ass calculators. Nope, it doesn’t compute either. So, I volunteer, in no uncertain terms, to shove his bench into his smelly orifice, tell him that he lost a customer with the intention to spend considerably more than that bench was worth, and walk out. Never to return to such an establishment.

I think I’ll simply buy my garden furniture on the Internet and ship them across where I am relatively sure that that operation will afford me better prices, bigger selection, less morons to deal with and less shady cowboy outfits such as “My Garden”.

No wonder I almost never see a car parked in front of that moron depo on the Tubli Bay road. Maybe, just maybe, the real moron owning that place will wake up one day and pay attention to the damage “their people” are doing to their reputation.

But I won’t hold my breath.

“My Garden” should be proud of something else to put up on their empty mantle piece though, they should now collectively be proud to be the official TWITBTHIFD holders for the time being.

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MPs banning alcohol? Not a chance!

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MPs demand total ban on alcohol in Bahrain

MPs yesterday unanimously demanded a total ban on alcohol in Bahrain. They voted in favour of a parliament-proposed law banning the import, possession, sale or production of alcohol. But to become law, the proposal would have to be accepted by the government and the Shura Council.

MPs said the current law, initiated in 1956, allowing the import, possession, sale and production of alcohol under government supervision was unconstitutional and should be scrapped.

There is really no reason to panic. Trouncing on personal freedoms is nothing new for this parliament, the one whose job is ironically to do the impossible to protect them. Nor should we expect them even to read the crystal-clear constitution which specifically says:

The religion of the State is Islam. The Islamic Shari’a is a principal source for legislation. The official language is Arabic.

Which means that the Islamic Shari’a is not the exclusive source of legislation – thank God. Because had it been, then those bozos would have knocked us back to the stone ages already, and would have had no qualms about doing so. Their motivation of course is to earn those promised brownie points to tool those promised waiting nymphs in heaven, even at the expense of making hell seem like a better place than the life they want to design for us on Earth.

I’m not sure if I should be thankful for the Shura Council being there which a lot of people regard as the safety valve which would stop such idiotic schemes; I actually wish that it wasn’t there so that these morons would carry on with their schemes so much that people will have to actually rise up against them and kick their hairy butts out of office.

But as we do have the Shura Council whether we like it or not, and I am a bit busy this morning, let me end this quick piece by inviting those 40 morons to kiss my hairy padouka for all I care about them trying to rob what little personal freedoms we do have.

But in the case that they do – for some completely inexplicable reason – get their way and the government does ban alcohol, I will start distilling some good hooch myself and will make it available free to whomever wants, just to spite both!

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…and the moron of the week prize goes to:

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Temple of the Moron

Suicide attack joke lands man in prison

Bahrain, like all countries around the world, is on high alert to make sure that terrorists do not sneak into the Kingdom.

Therefore it was understandable, when a passenger, who had arrived at Bahrain airport, approached the immigration official and informed him that his friend, who had arrived with him, had informed him that he was planning a suicide attack in the country.

The immigration official immediately went into action and called the police who took the man inside for interrogation. During questioning the man told the police that he was just joking and that he was having fun with the immigration official.

The police were not amused. The man was arrested and taken to the Public Prosecutor who ordered his detention for seven days until a case is filed against him as soon as possible at the Higher Criminal Court.
Bahrain Tribune :: 16 April, 2007

As a friend commented earlier, airport officials are trained to leave their sense of humour at home. They can’t take chances. So if they get a moron like this one “playing a trick”, well, they play theirs too!

I hope this moron enjoys prison food.

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It’s raining men!

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A new alert went out after a man plunged to his death from a footbridge over a busy Bahrain highway yesterday – the second to do so in three months.

Indian Ashokan Vamoora, 41, was killed instantly when he was run over by an oncoming car, as he smashed into the road from the bridge, near the Intercontinental Regency Bahrain, at around 4.30pm.

A witness at a nearby construction site said he heard a scream and a thud and the next thing he knew was traffic screeching to a halt.

“I did not see the man jump but I rushed to the spot after I heard the noise,” said the man, who would not be named.

Police said it appeared Mr Vamoora timed his jump so he would be hit by the car.

I have a suggestion, a crude one maybe, but a suggestion nonetheless; the authorities should either build a cage around the walkway so that no other moron throws him or herself off the bridge that was built to save lives by BKIC – which should be thanked for their endeavor – or do this:

BKIC bridge bullseye suggestion

I have no problem with morons who want to kill themselves; I say good riddance. The world is a better place for one less brainfart, but for God’s sake if they wanted to kill themselves, why should the cowards try to take other people’s lives with them too?

What, they need company even in their journey to hell?

And before anyone suggests or start hurling insults at me for being insensitive, save yourself the effort. I’m sensitive and humane enough, thanks very much, but people like these just do not gain any sympathy from me. I would have been more sympathetic if they hanged themselves from a ceiling fan, it’s their choice. But killing oneself like this is akin to blowing yourself up in a crowded market.

Maybe we should lobby for legalising euthanasia…

Cover the blood thing up, for God’s sake.

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Distributing money with reckless abandon

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Is the main modus operandi of this parliament, and further solidifies the opinion of not only their uselessness, but also their one-track mindedness which lost its compass.

We read this in this morning’s papers:

Mo’athin calling to prayerمكافآت للأئمة والمؤذنين تتراوح بين ألفين و5 آلاف دينار

مكافآت للأئمة والمؤذنين تتراوح بين ألفين و5 آلاف دينار وافقت لجنة الشؤون المالية والاقتصادية بمجلس النواب على الاقتراح برغبة (غير ملزم للحكومة) المقدم من كتلة المنبر الإسلامي في شأن تكريم الأئمة والمؤذنين بصورة مجزية، وخصوصاً من أمضوا في الخدمة فترة طويلة ولا يتقاضون معاشات تقاعدية.

واقترح أعضاء الكتلة أن تتفاوت المكافأة المالية حسب سنوات العمل، إذ تكون ألفي دينار للذين عملوا من عام إلى 10 أعوام، وألفين وخمسمائة (من 11 عاما إلى 15)، فيما تبلغ المكافأة 3 آلاف دينار لمن عمل لفترة تتراوح بين 16 إلى 25 عاما، وتكون 4 آلاف لمن عمل فترة بين 26 و30 عاماً، فيما تبلغ المكافأة 5 آلاف دينار لمن عمل لأكثر من 30 عاماً. كما أوضح الاقتراح أن المكافآت توزع في احتفال خاص يقام لذلك، كما ينظر لحال الأئمة والمؤذنين الذين يتقاضون أو يستحقون معاشات تقاعدية، وذوي الدخل المحدود وخصوصا الكبار في السن منهم، بحيث ينم إدراجهم في نظام التقاعد أو التأمينات على ان تقوم الحكومة بدفع جميع مستحقاتهم إلى هيئة التقاعد أو التأمينات الاجتماعية
الوقت – ١٤ أبريل ٢٠٠٧

Parliament’s Finance & Economic Affairs Committee has accepted the motion submitted by Al-Menber to “generously reward” religious imams and mo’athins (callers to prayer), and this is what you and me will be paying them, if this motion is actually passed by parliament and accepted by the government:

[TABLE=17]

Why?

I would rather spend that money in other more creative avenues; collect all that budget – if in fact it is to be given, and we know how the government loves Al-Menbar and readily acquiesces to their various requests – and:

  • Provide part of it to a Bahraini inventor who can invent a way to synchronise all calls to prayer between the 20,178 mosques that we have (and that’s just in Bani Jamra probably)
  • Record a decent sounding call to prayer and get that to play at the synchronised times through remotely controlled MP3 players; this invention must also provide a necessary time-shift delay to compensate for the differing adjudications of actual prayer times
  • Get those now out-of-work-and-almost-ready-to-contribute-something-tangible-to-society mo’athins to go through vocational training

And in this day and age when a normal knowledge worker does not last in a job for more than 2 to 3 years by their own choice because that person requires change of environment and job situation to enrich their experience and learn some new skills, why is parliament rewarding stagnancy in a job? Who in their right mind want to do a numb-skulling job like that for more than a few weeks, let alone more than thirty years!

Taken from another perspective; if the mo’athin’s job is an honour that is handsomely rewarded by God both in and after life, shouldn’t that reward to allowed to percolate within society by forcing mo’athins to give the job up after a week so that others would step forward to bask in God’s benevolence? Why the selfishness and why does a so called Islamic society reward hording God’s Light?

What about those imams then? Who put them there and what qualifications (other than memorising the Quran, that should not be a qualifier because a lot of good muslims do memorise it) do they possess to reward them like this? These people, other than the traditional religious qualifications should be further trained by insisting that they also take sociology, psychology, counseling and critical thinking courses in order to really be effective in their jobs.

Wouldn’t this generous distribution of wealth be better put in retraining these people and fostering inventions? I think that it will for sure.

But even much more important than these, if they are to give these rewards, they should start with long suffering teachers! Teachers who take abuse from students, the administration, the government and community for imparting much needed knowledge and trying to prepare the community for a better future.

It is they who deserve this generosity, not people braying into microphones a simple alarm clock would do a better job than all of them combined!

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Con man – Bahraini style

I had to laugh at this:

يصطدم بالخليجيين السكارى ويهددهم بالأمن للحصول على المال

تمكن رجال الأمن من القبض على متهم يقوم ليلاً بالاصطدام البسيط بسيارات الزوار الخليجيين الذين يكونون في حال سكر، موضحاً لهم أنهم في حال سكر بيّن، وأنهم هم المخطئون، طالباً منهم تعويضه مبلغا من المال وإلا فإنه سيتجه لتبليغ رجال المرور للقبض عليهم في حال سكر بين.

وبدورهم علم رجال الأمن بالخدعة التي يتبعها ذلك الشاب في استيلائه على أموال الغير نتيجة خلقه لوقائع غير صحيحة، فتابعوا تحركاته وتمكنوا من القبض عليه وهو متلبس في إحدى الحالات. وتمت إحالة المتهم إلى النيابة العامة التي حققت معه، ووجهت له تهم: أنه أبلغ كذباً السلطة الإدارية بنية الإساءة ضد مواطن خليجي بأمر يستوجب عقوبته جنائياً، إضافة إلى أنه رمى المواطن الخليجي بإحدى طرق العلانية بما يخدش شرفه واعتباره من دون أن يتضمن ذلك واقعة معينة. وشرع في الاستيلاء على المبالغ النقدية المملوكة للمجني عليه، بأن افتعل واقعة مزورة في صورة واقعة صحيحة، اذ اختلق واقعة تصادم معه بسيارته وأوهمه بحدوث أضرار له جراء ذلك التصادم، وذلك خلافاً للحقيقة. وبعرض المتهم على المحكمة الصغرى الجنائية الرابعة أمرت الأخيرة بإدانته، وحبسه 6 أشهرٍ وتغريمه مبلغ 50 ديناراً.

Al-Wasat :: 2 April, 2007

The report above says that a Bahraini con man has been imprisoned for 6 months for targeting drunk Gulf Nationals. The guy apparently waits for them to come out of a hotel or disco and then drives into their cars, gets out and threatens the mugs that he will go to the police and as they are under the influence, the police will throw them in prison or heavily fine them unless they pay him off!

The police got wind of him and caught him red handed. He got six months and BD50 fine. I would have hoped that the police would have investigated his financial records and levy double the amount he extorted from his victims in addition of the six months he should spend contemplating his deeds.

We have con men around, I am sure, but this guy is a bit over the top.

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Redistribution of Water Resources, Bahraini style

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Redistribution of Water Resources, Bahraini style

Redistribution of Water Resources, Bahraini style, originally uploaded by malyousif.



Ever wonder where all the "temporary lakes" that we have in every neighbourhood in Bahrain after a little rain goes?

Here’s your answer. The municipalities contract private companies to remove those lakes… and then it is completely up to the driver (or his management who pretend not to know or look) to find an empty piece of land to dump it on.

Not to the sea, or even better, a sump where the water could go into the already depleted aquifers, but directly into an empty piece of land to be wasted, once again, and create the multitude of mosquitoes we suffer from from time to time.

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Rapprochement gone wrong

this article was updated on 23/1/07 at 0900
please click the title or the link at the bottom to read the full article.

Muslim scholars say spilling of Shiite and Sunni blood must stop
By DPA
Jan 22, 2007, 14:10 GMT

Doha – Muslim scholars from around the Arab world, convening in Qatar Monday, appealed to the Iraqi people ‘to end the bloodshed’ between rival factions of Shiites and Sunnis in the war-torn country.

‘The war between the Sunnis and Shiites is splitting Iraq apart and is diverting the Muslim nation from the real enemy, that lies in waiting for the opportunity to attack us,’ read a statement published during the closure of an Islamic conference in Doha.

Some attending Sunni and Shiite scholars had reportedly exchanged insults and accused each side of trying to ‘convert’ the other.

In their statements, the scholars said that Sunnis and Shiites are members of the same faith, and so should strive to ‘stand united’ in face of challenges and obstacles.

The scholars also advised that different Islamic sects strive ‘not to offend’ each others’ belief systems.

Prominent and controversial Egyptian scholar Youssef al-Qaradawi was not at the conference that attracted around 170 scholars from across the Arab world, but sent a statement to the delegates.

In the statement, the Egyptian scholar said that the International Union of Islamic Scholars had decided to send a delegation to Iran, to help put pressure on the Iranian government to improve security situation there and to and end the internal clashes.

Tensions between Shiites and Sunnis have been increasing, not only in Iraq, but in other parts of the Arab world such as Lebanon and Bahrain.

The bloody clashes between Shiites and Sunnis in Iraq have been blamed on Iran, with the country being accused of supporting the militias and enticing sectarian strife.

Recently, Iran and its Sunni ally Syria have expressed a desire to take a more active role in brokering peace in Iraq.
Monsters and Critics

My emphasis… is that brain-dead or what? Should I laugh my ass off or cry?

Disgusting. And these are the bozos people look to for spiritual guidance?

More details in today’s (23/1/07) Al-Waqt, after the break

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