Tag Archives parliament

MPs banning alcohol? Not a chance!

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MPs demand total ban on alcohol in Bahrain

MPs yesterday unanimously demanded a total ban on alcohol in Bahrain. They voted in favour of a parliament-proposed law banning the import, possession, sale or production of alcohol. But to become law, the proposal would have to be accepted by the government and the Shura Council.

MPs said the current law, initiated in 1956, allowing the import, possession, sale and production of alcohol under government supervision was unconstitutional and should be scrapped.

There is really no reason to panic. Trouncing on personal freedoms is nothing new for this parliament, the one whose job is ironically to do the impossible to protect them. Nor should we expect them even to read the crystal-clear constitution which specifically says:

The religion of the State is Islam. The Islamic Shari’a is a principal source for legislation. The official language is Arabic.

Which means that the Islamic Shari’a is not the exclusive source of legislation – thank God. Because had it been, then those bozos would have knocked us back to the stone ages already, and would have had no qualms about doing so. Their motivation of course is to earn those promised brownie points to tool those promised waiting nymphs in heaven, even at the expense of making hell seem like a better place than the life they want to design for us on Earth.

I’m not sure if I should be thankful for the Shura Council being there which a lot of people regard as the safety valve which would stop such idiotic schemes; I actually wish that it wasn’t there so that these morons would carry on with their schemes so much that people will have to actually rise up against them and kick their hairy butts out of office.

But as we do have the Shura Council whether we like it or not, and I am a bit busy this morning, let me end this quick piece by inviting those 40 morons to kiss my hairy padouka for all I care about them trying to rob what little personal freedoms we do have.

But in the case that they do – for some completely inexplicable reason – get their way and the government does ban alcohol, I will start distilling some good hooch myself and will make it available free to whomever wants, just to spite both!


M.Report S01E12 – Hayfa Wahbi, a clear and present danger

Or at least that’s what our dear parliamentarians and their Islamist sympathisers think. So what’s so special about this lady then, that would make her so damnably dangerous that they’re all frothing at the mouth to bar her from performing in Bahrain?

Well my friends, I hope this vlog will demonstrate that there is really nothing unusual about her, other than being a beautiful lady who can’t sing! But those qualities could hardly be held against her, she is not the first and most certainly not the last person to use what Allah has given her to her advantage.

So sit back, relax, and watch what you will be missing if she decides not to bother with a little sand-pit called Bahrain because of a few neophytes’ deafening braying.


M.Report S01E11 – Hayfa Wahbi, despondency and its cure!

This is yesterday’s episode, sorry, had meetings outside and didn’t get back to the office to collect the laptop before going home. So I did this on Arif’s digital snapper, and the quality ain’t bad. I might actually go and buy a similar little shooter to shoot the M.Reports through. Let me know which you prefer.

Two things; apart from scratching my nose while talking, which is a habit that has been brought to my attention – thanks my friend! – I also seem to use a lot of “apart from that” too! I’m exposing all of my bad habits to you and hope for forgiveness, ’cause I ain’t gonna change!

Hayfa Wahbi takes on the Bahraini parliamentToday (yesterday) I talk about the pending visit of Hayfa Wahbi who stirred most of our parliamentary members to erectly stand and vigorously complain about her pending visit to these isles of golden smiles and want her banned. Just like they did a few years ago with the delectable Nancy Ajram, this time they are unanimous in their condemnation of the harlot (their words) visiting to corrupt our youth.

I say just give the buggers a box of tissues each and squat them in front of a giant screen showing the gyrating artiste go through her moves. In all probability they will be busy with themselves and leave us alone to choose – for ourselves – what we do and don’t want to do, see and hear.

For those others who actually enjoy live music and dance and want to simply while away the evening with their friends and loved ones, have fun at the concert which I hope that the government for once, just once, will throw the religious zealotry of its parliamentarians to the wind and give the people something to be happy about.

I was feeling quite despondent in this episode, I get that way sometimes, but I tell you what, I actually found the perfect cure which is guaranteed to lift you out of that mood should you experience it. All you have to do is…. watch the episode!


M.Report S01E07 – Homosexuality and the Islamist

Sex is never too far from Islamists’ minds, it seems, especially if they are law makers. This might be because they view their legislative role as nothing more than protecting people from themselves – according to their views anyway – and ensuring that society toes the straight and narrow – again, according to their definitions – in order to prevent them from going to hell and eternal damnation.

It could also be for selfish reasons, where they view that with executing that “over-sight” role in parliament and life, they would receive untold brownie points from Allah in Heaven and by that ensure that they can have as much sex as they want then. Deferred payment, if you like.

I’m not sure if anyone calculated how much time they spent in parliament discussing what they find objectionable: sex in general, homosexuality, lesbianism, butch girls, you name it, but the amount of time they dedicate to penalising sexual criminals and child rapists is close to zero. The time they spend in ensuring that personal freedoms are sacrosanct, is probably nil, and the time they consumed even discussing changing their own bylaws in order for them to be more effective is zero.

However, when it comes to a sitting member of parliament maligning not one, but TWO countries with which we have diplomatic ties as “homosexual deviants” – they give him the mic and increase the volume!


M.Report – S01E06

Oooh, a minister DISRESPECTED parliament today. They went ape and I have footage to show it! Other than that, Batelco (aka Fashelco) decided to “look nice” but the process resulted in it receiving some deserved ridicule.


Depraved minds

bikini-clad muslim women enjoying the seaThe premise is a good one.

Parliament debated the dearth of beaches in Bahrain and wanted to beg the king to revoke ownership deeds in order to return the coastline to the populace. However, some MPs are showing their depravity as they associate the available beaches – they’re referring to privately owned resorts and the like – with a semi-nudist colony. The logic is indefatigable, I know, but it also demonstrates that the only thing that those bozos think of is matters of the flesh, catering to their own baser instincts:

“The problem is not only with the beaches being used by women in bikinis, of whom even the fish are ashamed, but with owners of projects on the coast thinking that they own the sea too, as they have already started banning fishermen.”

Yes my friends, this eruption was from an upstanding member. The first vice chairman to be exact, whose faculties, mental and otherwise, do not extend beyond, well, his basic instinct.

I don’t think he even realises how much damage his outburst does to not only himself – which is frivolous – but also to the noble cause he is championing, which is the return of the coastline to public ownership. Why he has to draw an association between the current availability of beaches to that of scantily clan women and immediately passing judgement on them as nothing more than shameless hussies is beyond me.

But, it seams, those images are firmly ensconced in his head. Both of them. And are doubtlessly keeping him awake at night.


The Handouts Culture intensifies

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I think I am like a lot of people who cringe every time I feel that people are just getting handouts; regardless if those handouts are actually deserved, the act itself is demeaning, especially in an area of the world which is supposed to be rich. Alas, it seems that I am in a minority in this feeling as it has not only become the norm, but government, parliament, and society regularly just dish out money as the panacea to all poverty ills. Not many of those giving stop for a while and consider that it probably is best if they at least got the people receiving the largess could at least be made to feel that they earned it.

Yes, I know that to the poor, ego might take a backseat to the normal drudge of existence, but the government and parliament have become so blazé, even blatantly so, in their “giving”.

Two headlines made me cringe in today’s papers; the first is the intention of MPs to open “supermarkets for the poor” in which subsidised foodstuff will be sold and the second is MPs again want to give the Ministry of Social Development BD5 million ($13.2m) to help it cover paying the extra 3,000 needy families whom were added to its rolls of the poor over the last two years, although the minister only asked for BD3.5m ($9.25m), I guess they want to demonstrate their generosity.

The reasons for my cringing in the first instance is that there are proven methods in which the poor are assisted in various societies around the world, one of those methods is a food stamps program in which the needy are given stamps or cards which they can use in any market to help them buy their foods. The vendors then redeem those stamps with a government agency. That program obviously is not free of criticism, but the fact remains that it negates the need for the establishment of “poor shops” which could very well be abused (as could the stamps program, I know) and also allows for the provision of unified prices for foodstuffs which are subsidised only to those deserving that subsidy. I have no idea why our MPs and the Ministry of Social Development ignored this tried and tested method of helping those in need.

The other instance of course is the seemingly willy-nilly way in which parliament is handling the national budget. Here, a party asks for a specific studied budget for one of its programs and we find that for inexplicable practical reasons the parliament – whose one of its main roles is the protection of public funds – gives out additional 30% for no reason whatsoever! What guardianship of public funds is this?

Further, in the report referred above, no one seems to have asked the very important question of why in this age of economic boom do we have 3,000 families descending into poverty?

Maybe I should send them a link to explain to them in simple terms what their agenda should be to combat poverty:

5 factors of povertyThe simple transfer of funds, even if it is to the victims of poverty, will not eradicate or reduce poverty. It will merely alleviate the symptoms of poverty in the short run. It is not a durable solution. Poverty as a social problem calls for a social solution. That solution is the clear, conscious and deliberate removal of the big five factors of poverty.


New heights in segregation demanded

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Al-Wefaq doesn’t seem to be too busy these days, especially as its demand to question Attiyatallah has now passed to the Services Committee. So, it keep the ball rolling, they’ve tabled an urgent motion demanding segregation of care givers by their gender:

Same-sex doctors call
Bahraini MPs are demanding that doctors and nurses be allowed to treat only patients of the same sex, except in emergency cases.

Patients are complaining that male staff are examining female patients and vice-versa, Al Wefaq told parliament yesterday.

The bloc also wants bodies in the mortuary to be handled only by staff of the same sex as the deceased. Its unscheduled proposal was accepted as urgent and referred to the services committee, which will compile a report for discussion in the chamber.

Sorry, but which depraved nincompoop in his right mind is going to back this motion, which does nothing more than entrench further unneeded and in this case completely unwarranted segregation in an increasingly integrated world?

What does it matter, really, if the doctor treating a sick patient is of an opposite sex? Yes I can understand in some cases patient might be embarrassed discussing their delicate health issues with a doctor of the other gender, but surely this should be left to the patients themselves to decide on, rather than bring out yet another completely useless piece of legislation that we not only make us the laughing stock of the world, but much more importantly might waste lives, literally.

But parliament really doesn’t have anything better to do with their time… oh wait, yes they do. In the same paper they are telling us that ten of the right honourable upstanding members have insisted on the creation of an emergency panel to fight blasphemy. The motivation behind this of course are those Danish cartoons.

Ten MPs were named yesterday as members of an emergency parliamentary committee set up to combat the tarnishing of the Prophet Mohammed’s image.

The move is in reaction to the reprinting by the Danish media earlier this year of insulting cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammed.

There was outcry throughout the Islamic world when the cartoons first appeared more than two years ago.

The committee will liaise with other parliaments and bodies at home and abroad to combat the negative portrayal of the Prophet Mohammed and Islam.

Can you believe this rubbish? After two years they want to resurrect this issue once again. Oh, hang on, the guys are on a time-delay anyway so now I understand. In addition to them having nothing on their hands, their minds are abuzz with ways to at least look busy, and what better way to show their constituents that they are doing something other than fighting for the honour of our dear beloved Prophet?

You know what? I’m gonna put a big order for Danish flags and go gift them to those MPs. I can tell you that they won’t decorate their houses with them, but add to the collective idiocy of these parliamentarians by providing news agencies with excellent footage of arsonist fools.

And then, we have Al-Wefaq throwing yet another temper tantrum, this time courtesy of Al-Mizal, who objects rather strenuously to giving government housing to Bahraini women married to foreigners. Because, well, here read it for yourselves:

ØŒ والمرأة البحرينية الأصلية لا تميل إلى الزواج من أجانب وإذا حصل فهو نادر جدا’
وأضاف المزعل ”هذا الاقــتراح، سيعطــي الفرصــة الذهبية للمجنسين في هذا البلد أن يزوجوا بناتهم الصغــار لأجانب من بلدانهم الأصلية ليأخذوا الخدمات الإسكانية، فيلتحق الرجال بنسائهم المجنسات وهكــذا المجنــس يجر مجنســا إلى أن يتحول البلد إلى بلد يعيــش فيــه البحرينــي غريبــا في وطنــه بينمــا يعيش الأجنبي فيه منعمــا مكرمــا كمواطــن من الدرجــة الأولى”ØŒ وفق ما قال

“The true Bahraini woman does not marry a foreigner, but if she does, it is a very rare event.”

What this supposed representative of the people, all the people, is saying is that his objection is based on the fact that “it [providing government subsidised housing services to Bahraini women married to foreigners] will give a golden opportunity to naturalised citizens of this country to marry their young daughters to foreigners so that they can get housing services, which results in their foreign husbands to Bahrain; therefore, we will get a situation where a naturalised citizen will bring in another person to naturalise until the (original) Bahraini finds himself a stranger in his own land, while the foreigner lives here in leisure and honour as if they are First Class Bahraini.”

Would anyone like to join me in banging our heads on the closest wall in response to these asinine and completely idiotic, moronic, simple-minded, prejudiced, petty, bigoted, blinkered, parochial MPs who are entrusted to look after our interests?

I’d better go for lunch before I burst even more blood vessels…