Tag Archives brainfart

Spinning it, or just fucking selfish and STUPID?

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For all that’s bloody well holy… have a look a this shite:

The Island of Smiles 😉

BAHRAIN is the fifth most thriving country in the Middle East, according to a new study.

Beautiful, right?

Ok, Carry On™ – courtesy of the local rag:

The “Island of Smiles” was ranked 48th out of 155 countries around the world in the Gallup Global Well-being report, which took four years to compile.

The study, which took place between 2005 and last year, found 32 per cent of people in Bahrain were thriving.

Desperate for a glass half full, the editors start their “piece” with a “big bang” sentence, then and only then, the qualification of their ineptitude and inability to be or even attempt to be journalists, start. So, 1/3rd of us on these lovely pieces of Heaven, aka “The Islands of Gloom” are “thriving”.

Brilliant. But they’re not done…

However, it also found that 45pc were struggling and 23pc were suffering – although non-Arab expats were not included in the survey of around 1,000 adults aged over 15.

In fact, Bahrain had one of the biggest percentages of people suffering in the Middle East and was on a par with Pakistan and Romania in those stakes.

HANG ON A MINUTE! What the fuck happened to the previous assertion of “The Island of Smiles” crap? 68% (that’s MORE than 2/3rds of the population) are struggling at best!

What journalistic principles are these bozos working under? Really? Really? No fucking shame at all? They just want the “happy picture” at the expense of everything else?

What’s wrong with them leading the piece with something like:

An international poll affirmed that the majority in Bahrain are struggling in their daily lives, putting paid to the much abused “island of smiles” brand. With the kingdom now ranking last but one in the Gulf in the Global Well-being report.

With 68% being classified either as struggling or suffering, it is quite evident that the adopted policies have demonstrably failed and the country needs much more than glitzy empty marketing campaigns to effect a real change in attitudes and perceptions. A concerted effort must be enacted to tangibly improve people’s lives and livelihoods…

Wouldn’t this effect a better response than misrepresenting the truth?

Of course it would. But the GDN and its owning empire is not interested in effecting change to the better. As long as it lines their pockets, why should they change a formula which has proven successful? The 68% of suffering people can go fuck themselves.

Well, in the spirit of the GDN and its owners, this little critter is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-U-U-U-U-U-L… isn’t he just absolutely cute and cuddly?



They bloody well deserve it!

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hahahehahehhahehhahehehahaaaaa! they thought they were back in the Gulf. NOT! 😀

The £1.2 million Koenigsegg CCXR and £350,000 Lamborghini Murcielago LP670-4 SuperVeloce were parked outside the London department store last week.

Crowds of tourists watched in disbelief as a traffic warden first ticketed then clamped both vehicles – which are custom-made in the royal family’s distinctive “baby blue” colour.

The cars belong to the oil-rich Al-Thani royal family, who own a string of luxury vehicles – including a one-off Pagani Zonda Uno.

Qatar Holding group, which forked out £1.5 billion in April to buy Harrods from Fulham FC owner Mohamed Al Fayed, is led by the Prime Minister of Qatar Sheikh Hamad Bin Jassim Bin Jabr Al-Thani.

The 249mph Koenigsegg is one of only six ever made. The custom-built supercar is built from scratch and does a 0-60 in 2.9 seconds, producing a staggering 1,064bhp.

The Lamborghini is one of only 350 ever built, again in the families trademark colour, and has a top speed of 213mph and is capable of 0-60 in just 3.2 seconds.

But both were brought to a standstill when they were clamped – although the owners shouldn’t have too much trouble stumping up the £150 release fee.

The owners could have taken advantage of Harrods’ valet parking service which charges a £8 for the first hour or £40 for 8-9 hours with an additional £50 charge to store a car overnight.

An onlooker said: ”It’s not every day you see cars like this, let alone watch them get clamped.

”Judging by their cars, I shouldn’t think the owners will worry too much about paying a couple of hundred quid to have the clamps taken off.”

The Al Thani family have an estimated wealth in the region of £2.4 billion as well as stakes in dozens of businesses around the world.

A spokesperson for Harrods said: ”You will need to speak to the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea who deal with parking regulations.”

Telegraph – hat tip: Suad/HelpBahrain Tweet


Disgusting. Coral Beach Club flouts anti-smoking law with impunity

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It was unfortunate that I accepted going to the Rotary Club of Adliya’s monthly social evening at the Coral Beach Club. I had forgotten that it was a Shisha bar. But with the experience of last night, I won’t be running back again there any time soon.

Shisha smoker :: Image coutesty of TimeOutBahrain.com

The company of my Rotarian friends last night I loved of course. It’s one of the prime reasons why I joined the Rotary. Professional, conscientious and fun people from various backgrounds getting together to share their wealth of knowledge and experience to help our community. It’s the venue and their complete flouting of the Bahraini anti-smoking law which I found extremely disgusting.

What made it even worse for me, and that of everyone else present at our table, was the horror of seeing a young mother who could not have been more than 19 years old with an infant of just a few months old sitting right behind us and puffing away at her shisha! If that’s not criminal I don’t know what is. To compound the situation, that table hosted 3 others of her friends or family all of whom exhaled poison right at that poor infant. How absolutely callous.

This reminds me of the following idiom: You are forced to get a license to drive a car; however, any two dimwits can produce babies! This was so apt for the horrendous situation we witnessed last night. I promise you that my throat is still soar as I write this and my head has not stopped thumping. Can you imagine what’s going on with that poor infant and other children allowed to be in that poisonous atmosphere?

Why does the Coral Beach Club allow such situations? Are they above the law? It most certainly seems so. On the day the world has dedicated to fight tobacco use, the Coral Beach Club flagrantly and irresponsibly not only offer poisons to their patrons, but refuse, when approached, to only serve smokers outside of the enclosed space to entertain such requests. The duty manager simply scoffed! The reply was “I can’t do anything, this is what the owners instructed me to do.”

That might be good enough for him. It most certainly is not good enough for me. They’re flouting both the anti-smoking law AND allowing infants, for goodness’ sake, infants to be brought into such a poisonous atmosphere, isn’t there also a law forbidding people younger than 21 years old to frequent such places?

I just called the owner, Karim Miknas, who was very apologetic and promised to immediately do something about the situation. There is no reason for me to doubt his sincerity, but to help him along, here’s what I suggest we do:

  • Email the owner: Karim Miknas and tell him that you do not appreciate him flouting Bahraini law, and for him to immediately do something concrete about smoking at his establishments and monitor the facilities for compliance.
  • Call Mohammed Saad, the head of investigation and follow-up at the Manama Municipality to follow up on complaints against establishments flouting the anti-smoking law and tell complain. His office is at 1722 1454. You can also email him here. I already have. He’s a very understanding gentleman with a huge task on his shoulders to accomplish.
  • Enter a comment on Karim Miknas’ Facebook page reminding him of his and his companies social responsibility goes beyond entertainment. If he really wants to help the local community, he should at least ensure the banning of smoking in enclosed spaces at his establishments, as the law stipulates.

Update: 11am: I’ve just received a notification from Karim Miknas that the responsible manager has just been terminated. I’m very glad that he has taken this matter seriously and appreciate his efforts.



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I know, I know, I’m a news junky. Sue me.

But for hilarity, I always turn to our local rag, the illustrious GDN, aided and abetted by our Parliament or honorable parliamentarians.

Her Royal Highness Princess Sabeeka bint Ibrahim Al Khalifa, wife of His Majesty King Hamad:

It is the duty of the young to stand up and vote women into parliament, to ensure the country’s political, social and economic progress, said Princess Sabeeka, who chairs the Supreme Council for Women.

She was speaking as she opened and led a three-hour debate at Bahrain University’s Sakhir campus on the role of women and young people in politics.

Khalifa Al-Dhahrani Chairman of the Council of Representatives (2002-2010):

BAHRAIN is not ready for women in politics, says parliament chairman Khalifa Al Dhahrani.

He spoke out after Princess Sabeeka asked the students if they would vote for a well-qualified woman in parliament.

The majority in the room raised their hands, while others said they had yet to see women prove their capabilities in the political arena.

This prompted Mr Al Dhahrani to say that Bahraini society is not ready for women in politics.

“We have to look at our society in a realistic way and I don’t believe that it is ready for women in politics.

“Our parliament is run by religious factions and blocs, which all support women but I don’t think that as a society we are ready for this.”

But Princess Sabeeka and other panel members interjected, saying Bahrain was not completely run by religious factions.

Can you smell it?

Do we really want the right honorable MP Khalifa Al-Dhahrani and his like for yet another term?


Elevator or Calculator?

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Elevator or Calculator?

Elevator or Calculator?, originally uploaded by malyousif.

Believe me, this is not a calculator. forget the minus sign and even the decimal point, this is our building’s elevator control panel.

No. We don’t have fractional floors and we don’t have a Harry Potter within our offices list, more importantly, we only have 2 floors with a third really nothing more than the roof. So why the hell do they have to install a moronic thing like this in our building? Moronic!

This is the brainfart that I have to press every time I need to get to my office, day in and day out!


“Gulf Idol” lands in jail!

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If you’re a Muslim, you know how sensitive Muslims are about their religion. Heck, wars are still being waged for what some might regard as frivolous excuses. So going on a stunt like the following demonstrates either the stupidity of the person in question, or maybe that alcohol is really not good for you as it impairs one’s judgement.

3 أشهر لخليجي غنى في مكبر صوت مسجد

أدانت المحكمة الصغرى الجنائية الخامسة برئاسة القاضي علي الكعبي وأمانة سر محمد مكي أمس (الاثنين) بحبس متهم خليجي 3 أشهر بتهمة تعد بإحدى الطرق العلانية على الدين الإسلامي بأن دخل مسجداً بحذائه والسيجارة بيده، وقام بالغناء. وتعود تفاصيل القضية إلى أن المتهم قام بالغناء داخل مسجد جسر الملك فهد وهو مرتد حذاءه والسيجارة في يده، وعند سماع رجال الأمن صوت غناء يصدر من مكبر صوت المسجد قاموا بالقبض عليه.

The Lower Criminal Court yesterday (Monday) sentenced a Gulf national to three months in jail after entering the King Fahad Causeway mosque without removing his shoes and while smoking a cigarette. He also proceeded to sing a song through the mosque’s pubic address system. The court charged him with denigrating the Islamic religion in a public way. Causeway police arrested the gentleman when they heard his singing on the mosque’s loudspeakers.
Al-Wasat – 15 Apr 2008

What a twerp! The fool should be thankful for being caught and sentenced in Bahrain. Had that been a few meters away – literally – he would have gotten a lot more than he bargained for. Head chopping wouldn’t be too severe I should think.

Unfortunately the news piece did not carry any information about the song being sung. Has anyone any idea what it might be?


Valentines’ gone horribly wrong

Look, I understand that although some need it, not everyone can afford to buy Viagra, but lust is an untameable beast and some people will go to any length for the mere promise of their own personal nirvana. Sometimes that quest can prove painful, embarrassing, stupid and more often than not all of those facets combine in the little brains (yes both of them) of unfortunate bastards.

Like this one:

nail in penis

Yes, what you are seeing in the picture above, my friends, is a nail inserted into the urethra. It had been lodged there for three days and the chap was suffering abominably, but, he wouldn’t get it seen to for a plethora of reasons, each more banal than the next. The explanations he proffered to the treating doctor was even worse! As a way of explanation, the guy “had no idea” how a nail got up his penis! “he claimed [it] was inserted there without his knowledge by a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him“!

Okay, I have no problem whatsoever with what people do to get their rocks off, as long as they don’t hurt others in the process, but offering such an asinine excuse as “not knowing” and what’s even worse, suggesting that “a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him” is a bit much. Has that now become a ready excuse? Yes I know that some Bahrainis prey on foreigners, but I think this is not an everyday occurrence. At least I hope not.

Never mind, I’ll put this down to the guy being so staggeringly embarrassed by his own private “experiment” that this dipstick just can get his brains rapped around reality.

Poor guy, I guess his Valentines’ is completely ruined. At least because of the valiant efforts of the doctors he will now live to – hopefully – enjoy forthcoming ones!

Happy Valentines’ boys and girls, and for goodness’ sake don’t do anything this stupid!


BNA blooper #8247002


date: 11 11, 2007


He urged them to do WHAT? He didn’t did he? Man I *am* worried!

Oh my god, and this is the official news agency too. What fun.


Ridiculous notions

This country needs “a Gibbs”

This country needs “a Gibbs”. An act watchers of NCIS will be really familiar with. For others less fortunate, the act is best described as a swift whack on the back of a head the sharpness of which will bring that mind back to reason. Hopefully. But I fear in some cases it might require a shovel to effect the needed movement of neurons in solidified grey matter.

The shovel method is most certainly required to a head that belongs to a so called “educator” who mysteriously deduced that a young adult giving what is essentially monopoly money bought on a trip to Iran to friends at school as high treason in the form of “distributing counterfeit currency with the intent to shake the country’s economy.” A charge communicated to the Misery of Education which found it fit to escalate the matter to the Public Prosecutor who in turn – with a complete straight face and some might even think with collusion – imprisoned the girl for a few days “while investigating the matter” only to come out eventually with all charges dropped, most probably due to the ridicule heaped upon them by the press.

Although blame should most definitely be levied at the moronic principal who at best does not have any sense of humour, and at worst is riddled with dark and heinous sectarian intentions – a charge that school has been particularly riddled with and one might be excused to thing that this incident would not have received such attention had the Monopoly dosh come from the Emirates or Saudi or even Afghanistan – to be shared with full contempt for the Misery of Education as both have certainly put new meaning to educating our youth by terrorising them with the ever-present police ogre who are only too willing to acquiesce to their frivolity.

However, the blame in this case, as is in others, must squarely lay at the Public Prosecutor’s office who inexplicably dish out imprisonments “for investigations” as a matter of course and seem to emphatically dish that incarceration sentence out not to prevent people from fleeing or interfering with their “investigations”, but rather as a first phase of punishment in their heretofore unproven guilt; thus, over stepping their role from being an investigative service to that of jurists and executioners too.

both have certainly put new meaning to educating our youth by terrorising them with the ever-present police ogre who are only too willing to acquiesce to their frivolity

Is this the education reform spearheaded by our Crown Prince I wonder? Apart from building higher walls surmounted by iron-work spikes to prevent people from getting into schools now has terrorising students out of their wits by imprisoning young impressionable minds for a frivolous and a completely legal activity of giving gifts clearly marked as “having no commercial value” and clearly – even to the blind of sight but definitely not those with that affliction affecting their souls – nothing more than Monopoly money? What kind of impression do those champions of education; in this particular case the headmistress and her cohorts at the Misery of Education, leave with the young girl other than hating education and most probably detesting the establishment too? Or was it a concerted effort to reach such a zenith in the first place?

What a ridiculous situation this is. Utterly corrosive and criminal too.

That headmistress should be removed from her post forthwith, she has amply demonstrated that she does not have the presence of mind or the kindness of soul to be an educator nor a person who should be tasked with guiding impressionable youths into a more complex world. She is completely unfit for the job. The same must be done to her cohorts, the unthinking uncaring automatons at the Misery of Education for allowing such an issue to be escalated rather than holding their minion back from further grievous mistakes and utter public embarrassment.

His majesty might also want to ensure that an over-sight committee is put in place to look into infractions like these and provide redress for those who unnecessarily suffer by the misapplication of their power.

As to the Public Prosecutor, well, at the risk of getting pulled up by them again and unnecessarily imprisoned, I suggest that it is high time for their reform too. That shouldn’t be too difficult given the recent age of that organisation. The king might seriously consider giving them complete autonomy and independence to execute their jobs better after removing their current head who allowed his staff to use investigative imprisonment as yet another method of what could be conceived as state sponsored terror. His majesty might also want to ensure that an over-sight committee is put in place to look into infractions like these and provide redress for those who unnecessarily suffer by the misapplication of their power. At the very least, tell them, your majesty, that they should not dish out automagic incarcerations willy nilly like that but only if truly deserved when there is a genuine flight risk.

Failing that, let’s just declare Monopoly a tool of the devil and pay a readily bought cleric or two to haramize it.


Shi’a Triple-Play

It’s like the Shi’a “leaders” in Bahrain are aiming for a home run; the bases are pretty loaded now, we just need one more good screw-ball pitch and we’re in!

Brilliant. Well done. Let’s ignore the first two points and concentrate on the third for now. The thing that prompted it is this picture:

Mixed shia and sunna prayer in the Bahraini parliament led by Jassim Al-Saidi, an Islamist Salafi Wahabi MP

The above, my friends is a prayer conducted in parliament led by Jassim Al-Saidi, a known Wahabi extremist and the guys praying behind him are (from L to R) Jawad Fairooz, Ali Salman, Adel Al-Moawdah and I don’t know the fourth person, but from their stances you would know that the first two are Shia while the second are Sunnis. Big deal, right? Actually, it should have been a cause for celebration as it shows that “the leaders” of both communities can actually co-exist and can accept the others; thus, firmly planting the seed of social cohesion and anti-sectarianism.

That’s the theory, but some has seen this event as a total and utter humiliation of the Shi’a! “Why would Ali Salman, the protégé of Isa Qassim – the defacto leader of the Shi’as in Bahrain – pray behind a known sectarian person from the Sunna? This is totally unacceptable, off with his head!”

The Al-Wefaq PR machine was overworked in the few days and weeks following that incident with various talks about that there is nothing wrong with it, etc. It was almost forgotten – well, in Bahrain things like this are never allowed to be forgotten, grudges are held for centuries! It has now resurfaced due to a huge stinker of a brainfart by the ex-labourer-now-member-of-parliament-turbaned-good-for-nothing-guy:

brainfartist MP Hamza Al-Dairy

منتدى الدير: ما هي قصة صلاتكم خلف السعيدي؟

الشيخ: أنا لم أصل خلف السعيدي لحد الآن، وكل واحد يعرف تكليفه، والأمور تقدر بقدرها، وبظروفها الموضوعية، أنا شخصياً أقول هذا هو ما يدعو إليه مذهبنا، هذا ما يدعو إليه أئمتنا صلوات الله عليهم، هذا هو ما يدعو إليه فقهاؤنا، هذا هو ما يراه ويلزم به الإمام رضوان الله تعالى عليه والسيد علي الخامنائي، أنا لا أتهمه بالنصب، لكن أقول إذا كان الشيخ السعيدي ناصبياً فإمام الحرم أكثر نصباً منه، ومع ذلك فالإمام الخميني والسيد الخامنائي يحرمون أن تصلي جماعة في بيتك في مكة والمدينة ويوجبون عليك أن تصلي خلفه.

منتدى الدير: في تصريح سابق للسعيدي لمنتدى الدير عندما سألناه عن إذا كان سيصلي خلف أبرز الرموز الشيعية في البحرين مثل الشيخ عيسى قاسم وذلك من أجل التقارب بين الطائفتين قال بأنه لن يصلي خلفه أبداً ما دام على عقيدته، لماذا دائماً تكون المبادرة من طرفنا نحن؟

النائب: لأننا مأمورون، أئمتنا يأمروننا بكذا، تكليفنا الشرعي يأمرنا بهذا.

منتدى الدير: هل تكليفنا الشرعي يأمرنا بالصلاة خلف النواصب؟

الشيخ حمزة الديري: نعم، نعم، يقول لنا صلوا خلفهم.
منتدى الدير – Google translation

This is beyond disgusting.

Now, as expected, the “wronged” party – Jassim Al-Saidi – has mounted his horse (rightly too I think) in demanding an apology not just for himself, but also for the imams of Mecca and Medina and wants Al-Wefaq – to which Al-Dairy belongs – to issue a statement declaring their position from Al-Dairy’s assertions. But Saidi, true to his reputation takes it even further:

وقال ”إن القول إنني ناصبي وإن أئمة الحرم هم اشد نصبا للعداء مني فهذا قول لا ينبغي السكوت عنه، وهو دعوة صريحة من احد أعضاء اكبر كتلة نيابية إلى التكفير والإرهاب ودعوة صريحة لتكفير الطائفة السنية في البحرين وخارجها وهي دعوة صفوية خبيثة تشبه إلى حد كبير الدعوات التي يطلقها التكفيريون بين حين وآخر في منتدياتهم وأقلامهم المسمومة التي تفرق ولا توحد وتكفر المسلمين من دون وجه حق”ØŒ حسب قوله. وأضاف السعيدي ”أن الديري اليوم لم يقذفني ويتهمني بالكفر ونصب العداء لآل البيت فحسب بل تعدى ذلك بالتطاول على رموز أهل السنة والجماعة وتعدى على أئمة أهل السنة والجماعة، واعتبر أن أهل السنة ينصبون العداء لآل البيت وتعدى بذلك الحدود الوطنية ليجعل القضية على مستوى الوطن الإسلامي، ويقول لهم إن صلاتكم في المسجد الحرام تعتبر صلاة وراء ناصبي، فأين هو من دعوات التهدئة وعدم التكفير وعدم التطاول على العملاء وشيوخ الدين؟ وأين هو من احترام مشاعر المسلمين الذين اتهمهم زورا وبهتانا بأباطيل لا أساس لها من الصحة؟”.
وأكد السعيدي ”أن صلاة الوفاق ورئيسهم ورائي لا ينبغي أن تكون بكل هذه الحساسية، فنحن المسلمين لا يوجد لدينا فرق بأن يؤمنا عربي أو أعجمي أو أسود أو أبيض طالما كان موحدا لله عز وجل لا يشرك به شيئا وأن التحرج الواضح من قبل الوفاق ومناصريها من الصلاة خلفي يدل على البغضاء المخفية في الصدور وعلى الحقد الدفين والكراهية لأهل السنة والجماعة”
الوقت – Google translation

And the spiral will continue with this slug-fest for a few weeks or even months and for tens of years it will be referred to to show “the depth of depravity of the other side” and what do we poor citizens get from this worthless parliament?

BD20 for every citizen which the government hasn’t even approved yet, so we realistically don’t get anything other than to continue to wade through the quagmire of sectarian strife perpetuated and propagated by none other than what we choose to call “our leaders” whom we have put in parliament and whom we pray behind.

We truly deserve the government we get.

The right and proper thing to do now, as far as Al-Wefaq is concerned, is immediately throw Al-Dairy out on his stupid ass. A person like this should not be allowed to represent us. He has damaged the cause of not just Al-Wefaq but the whole Shi’a community worldwide and has amply demonstrated his utter stupidity that Al-Wefaq does not need now.

By his own admission in the interview he classifies his contribution as zero, so Al-Wefaq will not be missing his brain-juice. Throw the stupid twerp OUT. NOW!

nasbi – ناصبي – is a person who declares his hate of the progeny of prophet Mohammed and regards himself as their enemy, which in essence makes the person a heretic. By inference that person also detests the Shi’a and all that entails. A very choice word for an elected member of parliament to use, is it not?