50 gmails for laughs

I’ve got 50 gmail accounts available. if you want one, share a joke! If I find your joke worthy, I’ll send you an invite.

Leave your email where I can contact you in the comments here, feel free to nonspamise it like mnalyousif_at_gmail_dot_com if you don’t want email harvesting bots to get your email…

let the fun begin!

signature
35 Comments
  • anonymous
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Ash who has forgotten his password here … If I win a Gmail, I’ll email you. Anyway here are my jokes …

    An old man in Italy goes to confession in church.
    “Father,” he says to the priest, “during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy, so I hid her in my attic.”
    The priest replied, “That was a wonderful thing to do, my son. You have no need to confess that.”
    “It’s gets worse, Father. She began to repay me with sexual favours.”
    “Oh dear,” says the priest, “by doing that you were both in moral danger. However, under the circumstances two people can be so tempted. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven.”
    “Thank you, Father. That’s a great relief. But I have another question.”
    “And what is that?” said the priest.
    “Should I tell her the war is over?”

    A woman’s husband had been in a coma for several months, but she stayed by his bedside every single day.
    One day he woke from his coma. Looking across to where she was sitting he asked her to come closer.
    As she sat beside him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were with me. When my business failed, you were with me. When I got shot, you were with me. When we lost the house, you were with me. When my health started failing, you were with me … You know what?”
    “What, dear?” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
    “I think you’re bad luck.”

  • Hamoor
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Yossi and Yitzhak are on a train across Poland, each on his way to meet a prospective bride on the other side of the country. Halfway there, Yitzhak turns to Yossi and says, “Forget about this whole marriage thing. I just don’t like the idea.” So he gets off at the next stop and makes his way back home. Meanwhile, Yossi continues on and is met at the final destination by the mothers of the two prospective brides. When the mothers realize what has happened, they instantly begin to fight over whose daughter should wed this precious little boychik. “He’s mine!” cries one. “Not on your life,” cries the other, “He will marry my daughter!” After bickering for a while, Yossi and the two mothers decide to go the rebbe and ask him to resolve the situation. In the grand tradition of the ancients, the rebbe replies, “Well, there is only one solution to this problem. Cut the boy in half, and you each take half home with you.” At this, the first mother looks shocked, while the second mother grins and cries emphatically, “Yah! Cut him in half!!” The rebbe points to the second mother and says, “THAT is the real mother-in-law. Case closed.”

  • aboali_y
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    What does J.Lo and a doorknobs have in common?

    Everyone gets a turn.

    my email is: aboali_y(at)yahoo.com

  • anonymous
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    A guy decides that maybe he’d like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.

    After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch.

    It doesn’t have any feet or legs.

    The guy says out loud, “Gee, I wonder what happened to this parrot?”

    “I was born this way,” says the parrot. “I’m a defective parrot.”

    “Ha, ha,” the guy laughs. “It sounded like this parrot actually

    understood what I said and answered me.”

    “I understood every word,” says the parrot. “I am a highly intelligent,

    thoroughly educated bird.”

    “Yeah?” the guy asks. “Then answer this : how do you hang onto your perch

    without any feet?”

    “Well,” the parrot says, “this is a little embarrassing, but since you

    asked I’ll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden

    bar, kind of like a little hook. You can’t see it cause of my feathers.”

    “Wow,” says the guy, “you really can understand and answer, can’t you?”

    “Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with

    reasonable competence on almost any subject : politics, religion, sports,

    physics, philosophy and I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to

    buy me. I am a great companion,”

    The guy looks at the $200 price tag. He says. “I can’t afford that.”

    “Pssst,” the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. “Nobody

    wants me cause I don’t have any feet. You can get me for $20 just make

    an offer.”

    The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out with the parrot.

    Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He’s funny, he’s interesting,

    he’s a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, gives good

    advice. The guy is delighted.

    One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, “Pssst,” and

    motions him over with one wing.

    The guy goes up close to the cage.

    “I don’t know if I should tell you this or not,” says the parrot, “but

    it’s about your wife and the mailman.”

    “What?” says the guy.

    “Well,” the parrot says, “when the mailman came to the door today your

    wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth.”

    “What happened then?” asks the guy.

    “Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up the nightgown and

    began petting her all over,” reports the parrot.

    “My God!!” the guy says. “Then what ?”

    “Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his knees and began to lick

    her body, starting with her breasts slowly going down and down,”

    The parrot pauses for a long time…

    “What happened? What happened?” says the frantic guy.

    “I don’t know,” says the Parrot, “I got a hard-on and I fell off my

    perch.”

    burrows646_at_yahoo_Dot_com

  • mahmood
    20 February 2005

    Re: 50 gmails for laughs

    hahaha! the first one is brilliant Khalid! thanks for the laugh.. you’re the first gmail winner, enjoy. Please email me on malyousif_at_gmail_dot_com so I can send you the invite.

  • mahmood
    20 February 2005

    Re: 50 gmails for laughs

    the first is brilliant, the second I heard before, so yes you’re the 2nd winner! email me at malyousif_at_gmail_dot_com please…

  • mahmood
    20 February 2005

    Re: 50 gmails for laughs

    oooh that’s nasty 😉

    ok, you’re #3, so email me hassan please!

  • mahmood
    20 February 2005

    Re: 50 gmails for laughs

    hahaha! where do I get one of those parrots then? 😀

    winner #4, please email me at malyousif_at_gmail_dot_com to claim your gmail.com email!

  • lion_drak
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    hahahaha liked the parrot joke i have 50 invites too u can have them all 😀

  • mahmood
    20 February 2005

    Re: 50 gmails for laughs

    Thank you thank you! Strav just offered me 110 as well! Man we should give the “best joke of the week” maybe 10 accounts to disperse at this rate 🙂

  • anonymous
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Church Bulletin Bloopers

    Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary
    Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

    PRAYER & FASTING Conference: The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer
    Conference includes meals.

    The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water The sermon tonight:
    Searching for Jesus.

    Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

    Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say Hell to someone who doesn’t care
    much about you.

    Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

    Miss Charlene Mason sang I will not pass this way again, giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

    For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

    Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

    Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

    The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
    Break Forth Into Joy.

    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
    ends a friendship that began in their school days.

    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
    follow.

    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be What Is Hell?
    Come early and listen to our choir practice.

    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
    new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
    Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

    Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
    gracious hostility.

    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
    seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

    This evening at 7PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the
    Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
    him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

    Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.

    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
    use large double door at the side entrance.

    SK

  • KhalidSaad
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Ok here’s another one, not for the email though as I’d already got an invitation from mahmood above, enjoy the 3 jokes (sorry if it’s long but it’s worth it):

    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and “do it” for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he’d like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.

    That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in.” The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, “I had no idea you were so religious.” The boy turns and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”

    Here are two nasty ones:

    A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents’ bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you’re bouncing up and down on him.”

    His mom is taken by surprise and says. “Oh… well I’m bouncing on his stomach because he’s fat and that makes him thin again.”

    The boy says, “That won’t work.”

    His mom says, “Why?”

    The boy replies. “Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!”

    ——————————————–
    A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife.

    Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs that you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and sincerely hope that you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I’ll be home before midnight. Your Husband

    When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

    Dear Husband, You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Since you are the mathematician, you will appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don’t wait up.

    [Modified by: Khalid (KhalidSaad) on February 20, 2005 08:01 PM]

  • KhalidSaad
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    That one was gettin long so here is another funny computer joke, (don’t worry no spam, just contribution to this thread), tell me if you want more:

    One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”

    His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.”

    Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

    Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

    He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

    Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

  • KhalidSaad
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Here is a joke in english, if you want arabic, I have many:

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

    He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

    Another one for your liking (not intended as racism):

    What do you call 123 white guys chasing 1 black guy?
    The PGA Tour.

    I hope you like it, but don’t worry, I already have gmail unless your willing to send me another one ;).

    [Modified by: Khalid (KhalidSaad) on February 20, 2005 12:51 PM]

  • salima44
    20 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Just a joke to share. I have no need for anymore Gmail!

    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and says that her
    body hurts wherever she touches it.
    “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
    The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams,
    then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams.
    Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
    The doctor says, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
    “Well,no” she says, “I’m actually a bl0nde.”
    “I thought so,” the doctor says.
    “Your finger is broken.”

  • Hamoor
    21 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    I’ve heard several versions of this joke, all presented as a true story. I spent six years in the American Navy, and first heard it in 1983. My guess is that it isn’t true, by experience tells me that it’s not impossible 😉 :

    ————————————————————————————————————-

    This is an ACTUAL logged radio transmission between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

    Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations10-10-95

    Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

    Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

    Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

    Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

    Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
    ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

    Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

  • mohd
    21 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    [url]http://desertislandboy.blogs.com/home/2005/02/the_far.html[/url]

    You can have my gmail invites too; I think the real joke is that holders of gmail accounts can’t seem to give these things away!

  • Hamoor
    21 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    http://www.halfgiraffe.com/funniest_dog.html

  • Hamoor
    21 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: “You’re all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don’t trouble the other employees”.

    The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: “You’re all working very hard, and I’m very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?” The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner.

    After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: “Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?” One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: “You FOOL! For four weeks we’ve been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU have to go and eat the cleaner!”

  • anonymous
    21 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    The Perfect Husband

    A group of men are in a the locker room of a public gym, when a cell phone rings. One of the men answers:

    “Hello? Oh, hi honey. What’s that? You’re at the mall and saw a gorgeous fur coat that you just have to have? Sure, whatever makes you happy.”

    The other men in the locker room gape in astonishment.

    “Yes, and you can go by the jewelry store later and pick something up. Consider it an early anniversary present.”

    The other guys can’t believe what they’re hearing.

    “Oh, you’re going by the Mercedes dealership later today? Sure, you can buy that convertible you’ve had your eye on. I just want you to be happy.”

    Finally, the guy hangs up, holds out the cell phone, and says, “anybody know who’s phone this is?”

    Bill H.
    [email protected]

  • 7alaylia
    22 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Three men are at a bar drinking. (Said in your best Glaswegian accent). An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot. They all three notice that a fly has landed in their pints of Porter. The Englishman pushes away his pint in disgust, the Irishman plucks out the fly and continues to drink, the Scot plucks out the fly and starts hitting the fly against the bar screaming “give it back, give it back”.

  • anonymous
    22 February 2005

    Re(1): 50 gmails for laughs

    Hooray! Thanks! Emailing you now …

  • anonymous
    22 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    hii everybody,

    Here is my joke,

    Italian, French and Indian went for a job interview in England.

    Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow..

    The Italian was first:

    “I wake up in the morning.

    I see the yellow sun.

    I see the green grass and I think to myself,

    I hope it will be a pink day..”

    The French was next:

    ” I wake up in the morning,

    I eat a yellow banana,

    a green pepper and in the evening,

    I watch the pink panter on TV..

    Last was the Indian, :

    “I wake up in the morning,

    I hear the phone “green green”,

    I “pink” up the phone and,

    I say “Yellow”

    MrSoMeOnE

  • anonymous
    22 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    just want to share this one 4 fun …

    An English Man was Asked to choose between three women to mary,
    Each woman was given 1000 £ and asked to spend it in a way that they win the man’s heart.

    The First Woman spend all the money buying gifts for her future husband.

    The Second woman spend her money in plastic surgery and became a Real Beauty

    The last women did nothing with her money , she just gave all the money to her Man.

    Which women do you think the English guy has choosen to be his Future guy ???

    Think

    He chose the one with biggest boobs … :p

  • Reem
    22 February 2005

    Re: 50 gmails for laughs

    again, really not interested in the gmail bit… 🙂 but hope you enjoy this one.. 😛

    Jared.. remind u of a recent convo? heheh i got it in an email, thought i’ll share it…
    and well.. i won’t be surprised if it is a true story… with all the research i’ve finally started doing!

    here goes!! 😀

    An old Arab lives close to New York City for more
    than 40 years. He would love to plant potatoes in
    his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son
    is at college in Paris, so the old man sends him an
    e-mail. He explains the problem:
    “Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can’t plant
    potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were
    here, you would help me and dig up the garden for
    me. I love you, your father.”

    The following day, the old man receives a response
    e-mail from his son:
    “Beloved father, please don’t touch the garden. It’s
    there that I have hidden ‘the THING’. I love you,
    too, Ahmed”.

    At 4pm the same day, the US Army, the Marines, the
    FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the
    old man, take the whole garden apart, search every
    inch, but can’t find anything. Disappointed they
    leave the house.

    The next day, the old man receives another e-mail
    from his son.

    “Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now
    and you can plant your potatoes. That’s all I could
    do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed.”

  • KhalidSaad
    22 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    hahahaha jared, that’s a really good one. Captain put to shame ;).

  • KhalidSaad
    26 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    ^ noooooooo your kiddin me, they’re soooo paranoid, god, but at the end of the line, it’s dumb, funny n smart :).

  • anonymous
    26 February 2005

    Re(1): 50 gmails for laughs

    Reem, that was hysterical – a friend who is in fact Indian, sometimes has problems when he travels back to the US, especially if he returns from Karachi where his wife’s parents are from. If I were submitting a joke here, I would relay the details of some of the more surreal “interviews” he’s related to me from his arrivals at Newark airport. I guess Jon Stewart from the Daily Show had it right in his quip about the new “Racial Profiling Color Wheel”.

    Cheers,
    Jared

  • anonymous
    27 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist
    said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady then explained she needs it to poison her husband.

    The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “God have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill
    your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license, they’ll throw both of us in jail and all
    kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you CAN NOT have any cyanide!”

    Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the
    pharmacist’s wife.

    The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

    Walt In Texas!

  • KhalidSaad
    27 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    ^ hahahahahahahaha lol.

  • anonymous
    28 February 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    Thanks Khalid,
    I knew someone would like that one, That’s one of my favorite Jokes.

    Walt In Texas

  • anonymous
    1 March 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    These two flamingos walked into a bar ….

    and said “Ouch!”

  • mahmood
    1 March 2005

    Baked Beans

    This is one I received from a friend by email, I like it so much that I’ll post it here and send him a special gmail account!

    One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

    Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

    On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

    All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight. â€? He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

    The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

    Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

    My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: “Happy Birthday!” I fainted.

  • anonymous
    4 March 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    The Beans & Blindfold is definately of of the all time classics.

    Before you react with Blaa, Yuck, Oh-man, Please consider. This is one an actual Senior Citizen sent me.
    ———————————————————————————————————
    After taking a tour to see the Music Shows. A group of Senior Citizens are returning late one night on the bus from to Branson, Missouri . As they left Missouri, an elderly woman comes up to the bus driver and says, “I’ve just been molested!”

    The driver thought that maybe she had fallen asleep and had a bad dream, or something. So he just shakes his head in disbelief & politely says , “Mad’am, Please go back to your seat & sit down.

    A short time later, another old woman comes forward, claiming that she was just molested.
    The driver thought maybe had a bus load of old Crazy’s . Because who would molest those little old ladies?

    About 5 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she’d been molested too. The bus driver decides that he’d heard enough, Thinking “Oh My God this is really happening, There’s some Perv on My Bus!” He pulls of the Highway Immediately. He turns on the lights on Jumps up ready for anything.

    But all he sees is an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles with a perplexed look on his face.

    The Bus Driver Says, “Hey You , gramps, what the hell you doing down there?”

    “I lost my toupee. I found it three times, but every time I grabbbed it. It ran away…?”
    ————————————————————————————————————
    Walt In Texas

  • anonymous
    4 March 2005

    50 gmails for laughs

    There was a time when a female brain cell, which by mistake happened to end up in a man’s head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.
    “Hello?” she cried, but got no answer.

    “Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder–still no
    answer.

    Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and
    yelled at the top of her voice, “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?!”

    Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away…
    “We’re down here.”

    Walt In Texas

Previous
Art Gallery