You think you know me? Bah, no way, I always keep things in reserve as a surprise my dear friends… Today I shall share with you another talent I have hitherto hidden.
I am a great cook!
What I was cooking above, was my lunch yesterday and by goodness it was deeelishous, the ingredients were:
1. One can of tuna in water
2. One can of small butter beans (foul)
3. One can of Italian chopped and skinned tomatoes
4. One small chopped onion
5. A smidgeon of garlic
6. Five and a half splurges of Tabasco (to suit)
7. Olive oil
8. A little curry powder
9. A little dried black lime powder
Now chop the garlic, mix it up with the chopped onions and cook in a little olive oil until a little browned. Once browned plonk the chopped tomatoes in there and let simmer for a bit, then add a little curry and black lemon powder (maybe 1/2 a small spoon of the yellow stuff, 1/4 of the black stuff) and stir.
Let that simmer for a little bit then put the other stuff in there: first the tuna, chop that up and mix thoroughly, then the butter beans and likewise stir vigorously. Cover the pot and let simmer on SLOW heat for 3.5 minutes. Open the lid and absorb the mouth watering aromas. Get your Tabasco and splurge 5.5 shakes or a little more… maybe 7 would do it for most people.
Cover and let simmer on the slow heat; go away and cruise the internet or have a couple of drinks. In about 17 minutes (no more!) it should be ready, and THIS my friends is what awaits your senses!
Tuna Especial
Enjoy!
actually, it tasted like crap, even the dogs won’t eat or go near it! it went into the bucket at first bite. Settled for a tub of yoghurt and bread instead.
Comments
Another hidden talent exposed
That’s what restaurants are there for..
Give me a call and I will treat you to something more edible!
Waiting for your call 😉 and Frances need not worry.. will bring hubby along !
Re: Another hidden talent exposed
Sorry luv, I’m on a strict diet. Liquids ONLY until they come back! ;S
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What no shawarma????!!!!!
Another hidden talent exposed
At least the lemons look eatable. If you put it on a piece of toast you can call it the arabic version of ‘shit on a shingle’ 🙂
billT
Another hidden talent exposed
Mahmood,
I read through your recipe with a sense of unfolding disbelief, and rapidly rising panic. I dread to speculate on what Gnasher and Phoebe were thinking as they watched the concoction going into the pan. Especially knowing that they would be invited to eat the evidence before Francis gets home.
Still I note with approval that at least you used Olive Oil. It is customary in England for home-alone husbands to fall back on Diesel, thus filling the kitchen with blue smoke while they fry the corned beef…..
Meggie
Re(2): Another hidden talent exposed
it was LUNCH man, LUNCH! who has shawarmas for LUNCH? You’ve got shawarma on the brain my friend… seek help QUICK or hop on a plane and come over 🙂
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I know I know! I went into the store, it was dark and I didn’t bother switching the light on. I thought that if I picked up ANY 3 cans, there must be a Mahmood Recipe number 74 to be concocted. This time I think I failed miserably. And I think it was because there were no beans.. that essential bachelor glue and main ingredient of everything! ;P
Re: Another hidden talent exposed
yum, that sounds very fulfilling indeed… will try tonight (not!) 😆
Re(3): Another hidden talent exposed
Come on Mahmood! You know as well as I do, probably better, that shawarmas can and should be eaten any time… Morning, Noon, Night and in between for snacks. I thought I had this addiction under control for a while. Weekly shipments delivered via DHL but now DHL won’t deliver them anymore. Some nonsense about importing cooked food into the US. Those BASTARDS at the USDA!!!
I am coming in soon and this time I AM BUYING THE SHAWARMAS and amber colored beverages.
ciao!
m
Another hidden talent exposed
Sheesh! And here I was reading the recipe, eager to cook, and thinking “Great!” because I had all the ingredients except the black lime powder and wondering what the heck is black lime powder. LOL.
Laura
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hehahah! I am in truth a terrible cook. I confess that I do have my moments, and those are summarised with watery scambled eggs which I love, no milk, no cream, just the high colestrol eggs and the more the merryer. Steak, if it’s medium I can cook it, and I love it as such, I don’t like my steak leatherised, like my wife and children like it (except for Hanan, the middle child, who is totally vegetarian) and I am a bona fide demon when it comes to BBQ! I love that most of all and I *am* good at that.
But day-to-day stuff like “creating” something? forget it.. I’m a danger in the kitchen! 😀
Black Lime Powder is sun-dried lime, crushed and pulverised. The uncrushed variety is absolutely fantastic in prawn curry (the way that mum makes it) but the powdered stuff really adds a fantastic flavour to dry and wet curries of all kinds. Very very nice…
Of course the magic of cooking is knowing how much is enough, to me I can never find that balance, that’s why I drown food with salt, pepper, tabasco, curry powder, whatever and hope that it’ll turn out ok. Sometimes I force myself to eat the stuff a “cook” in front of my kids, only to suffer for a few days after!
Ego and cooking don’t get along very well…
Fun though!
Another hidden talent exposed
I couldn’t help but wonder how all you guys are pouring over Mahmood’s culinary ability (or inability) while there are 83 people killed in Egypt’s Sharm El-Sheikh. Thanks to the terrorist masterminds of Al-Qaeda or someone sick outhere?
Have you guys already discussed it? Maybe, but I couldn’t find it on this site?
Shall we start?
Another hidden talent exposed
Look and read here https://mahmood.tv/index.php/blog/1781#16874
I think that explains it all right now. Sometimes one needs to take a break from the bullshit of the world.
Another hidden talent exposed
lol i am glad your still here, i haven’t been able to access your spot in a while, but you’re always a bright spot online when i can….i have some pointers on your culinary uhhhh endeavors…
canned chicken would have been oh so much better dude! drop the butter beans and try black beans with it (or maybe not add any beans)….bell peppers and mushrooms would help alot too….so would celery and a bit of carrot
i do like the idea of lime, altho i, personally, would use a nice dry (think dusty lol) white wine to make a sauce and serve over rice or couscous (sp.?)
happiness and joy
River
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Oh girl, you’re MORE than welcome to cook for me! See, you HAVE the magic and you can match food items to make a good recipe… as for me, it’s grab and burn and hope for the best! 🙂
Another hidden talent exposed
You know, that sounds pretty appetizing. I might have to try cooking that up one of these days. I’ll let you know how it comes out! (probably not very well — I’m a rotten cook!) 🙂
-Vincent.
Another hidden talent exposed
Don’t know about u guys.. but the second i read “tuna in water…” my stomach churned!
Maybe we should just leave the cooking to Bahraini Rants.. eh Mahmood?
his post on [url=http://bahrainirants.blogspot.com/2005/06/argentine-asado-good-global-eating.html]Argentine Asado [/url]left me weak in the knees!!!:D
Another hidden talent exposed
Home alone part IV
BinShehab
Another hidden talent exposed
River?
Are you Riverbend in Iraq by any chance? If so many thanks for your Eggplant with Labna recipe which I often make for my lunch.
Also Mahmood thanks for the black lime powder info. I had been assuming you meant the black powder the Mafia use in pipe bombs…..
Meggie
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Probably should have told you what SOS is as I doubt its a middle east delicacy.
I jar dried beef
2 cups milk
undertermined flour
4 pieces bread
black pepper
heat milk and add flour to form a milk gravy, add black pepper, add dried beef and serve over toast
Good old military breakfast, I serve it occasionally to get even with my daughter
Another hidden talent exposed
Mahmood,I think you are by far the coolest guy in Bahrain
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shucks! thanks.
FRANCES I HOPE YOU’RE READING THIS!! 😉
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Is Labna like what we in Ultima Thule call Greek yoghurt?
Because I like the sound of Meggie’s recipe. Also, it strikes me as something that even you could cook 🙂
Ash
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glad to… most indubitably!
Re(2): Another hidden talent exposed
No idea Ash, but I’m sure you would get it from Lebanese or Turkish supermarkets. You can’t mistake lebnah though, it is thick stuff, lighter than creme cheese, but thicker than yoghurt. It’s pure white.
Re: Another hidden talent exposed
No sorry Meggie, I am not….I am in Texas…Eggplant and Labna???????
River
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I will send ya some simple recipes sometime
River
Another hidden talent exposed
Labna is plain Yoghurt. You slice and fry the Eggplant (Aubergine), then you add some finely grated garlic to the Yoghurt, and pour over the Eggplant. Serve with a green salad.
Meggie
Re: Another hidden talent exposed
Labna is THICKENED yoghurt. It’s not yoghurt. It is different and normally you would pour a small amount of extra virgin olive oil on it and eat it with pita bread, or spread it on toast, have it in a sandwich, etc.
Let me confuse the issue a bit more (I love milk products!):
Labna is thickened yoghurt, it’s food.
LABAN on the other hand is THINNED yoghurt, it’s a drink!
Capiche?
Re: Another hidden talent exposed
Damn, that boy is GOOD! and I thought that I really did good bbq.. uh, no.
Thanks BR for the lesson! I’m hungry now 🙂
Re(1): Another hidden talent exposed
[quote]Let me confuse the issue a bit more (I love milk products!):
Labna is thickened yoghurt, it’s food.
LABAN on the other hand is THINNED yoghurt, it’s a drink![/quote]
Thanks for straigtening that out. I like the laban that is sparkling. I also get that with the kababs here.
Another hidden talent exposed
The picture looks really appetizing. Sorry the taste was errr….
Hilarious post and comments. And some of the commenter recipes sound yummy.
I have read that the average American housewife relies most of the time on just 10 recipes. One of my mother’s 10 was “Tuna on Toast.” This is a classic bachelor dish. It is even easier than s on a s.
Make 4 pieces of toast in the toaster (using classic American white, or variant whole-wheat bread).
Meanwhile, open a can of tuna (8 ounces, about 224 grams to you heathens), drain it, and dump the tuna in a saucepan that will hold 2 or more quarts (i.e. 2 or more liters). Add a can (12 ounces or so, i.e. around 336 grams) of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup to the pan. You may wish to add a little water; don’t overdo it, you want the mixture to stay thick; it will tend to thin out as it warms up anyway; you can always ADD more water, but…
Pour the tuna mixture over the toast to produce 2 servings and a complete, light meal.
To make the meal even more complete, add a few vitamins: before heating, throw into the pan a 10-ounce (280 grams) package of frozen peas. (This is my variation; my mother believed in keeping things simple.)
WARNING: Campbell’s regular Cream of Mushroom soup is condensed. DON’T follow the directions on the can, which call for adding an amount of water equal to the volume of the can–the result will be far too watery. You can use other canned cream of mushroom soup, but it must be at least as condensed.
NOTE: Each cuisine has its own distinctive techniques. Bachelor cooking calls for “dumping,” rather than “emptying” the can of tuna. Likewise, it is important to “throw” the peas into the pan, rather than “adding” them.
Once on the plate, you can season the tuna on toast with pepper or paprika or both or anything. But that, of course, moves it up from bachelor cooking to US Army cooking.
Another hidden talent exposed
Addendum to “Tuna on Toast:”
I recently ran across a book written by the New York Times food critic Craig Claiborne and the chef Pierre Franey around 1975. One of the chapters recounts a $4,000 dinner (in 1975 dollars, remember) that they shared in a Paris restaurant. The Times humorist Russell Baker wrote a column in reply that told of a dinner that he fixed for himself when his wife was away. The column was a satire of the Claiborne-Franey column about their dinner. Baker’s entree was Burned Beans, for example. If you can locate Baker’s column, I defy you, or anyone, to read it silently, without laughing.
Michael in Framingham
Re: Another hidden talent exposed
wow, thanks Michael, will try this one soon. I love Campbell’s mushroom soup.
Re(1): Another hidden talent exposed
Thanks, I will try it…sounds pretty easy and good…surely in houston they have a Turkish grocer…
River