Because I fucking well couldn’t understand THIS kind of English
A number of persons injured in Kuwait
date: 09 08, 2005
Kuwait, Aug. 9 (BNA) A number of persons injured today in Edirea region in Kuwait after they entered a prohibited area where the US forces were exercising there with life ammunition.
The directorate of public relations in Kuwaiti military said in a press statement that these persons injured when their vehicle entered the shooting area in Edirea region. The statement did not mention the number of the injuries or their nationalities. The statement added that they were medically treated.
life you fucking moron, life?
SOMEONE TEACH ME FRANCAIS SYLVOU PLAYS! because I don’t want to speak aranglish any more. Too many morons are at it ya see?
Comments
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
I don’t know why you are losing your temper on the BNA…It is not worth it, I tell you.
Visit me in the afternoon at work when we are doing the pages and I will show you the nonsense they churn out day after day after day!
“The statement did not mention the number of the injuries or their nationalities.”
hahahaha
what? the nationalities of the injuries?
Mahmood. You know I don’t beat around the bush. I can’t. It isn’t the translators’ fault. I see a lot of young people who ‘think’ they can write and speak English when they don’t.
The real problem lies with the education system, which doesn’t teach those dim-wits how to speak, read and write (Arabic and English) and how to analyse what goes in from the one ear and goes out of the other; with young people who are not bothered to read and listen and learn on their own when the system has failed them; with bad or even no training in busy offices which are wrongly staffed or under-staffed; with a stupid bureauratic system, where people are employed not based on what they know but rather on who they are or who they know; and with the low salaries being paid in this sector, which is the main reason why a lot of the people who can read and write English shun it and want nothing to do with the headache it brings.
π and I am smiling when I say all this.. and I am not being arrogant when I point out the problems in my society.. and I am not implying I am better than anyone else.. because I may not be..
This is a situation which could be rectified.. not overnight. The BNA needs to invest in NEW staff, and a good editor or two. People whose first language is English and who are employed based on merit !
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Mahmood, you should watch the English sit-com series ‘Allo ‘Allo, then go through the whole set of the Pink Panther movies. You won’t learn much by way of useful French, but you will re-capture the fun of being an English speaker once again.
Then, if you get bored, you can entertain the whole family by simply buying the cheapest, nastiest, translation program you can find. Take a sensible English sentence, translate it into French. Then translate the translation back into English. You will be amazed at the massive gulf between what was transmitted, and what was received. You will also be mystified how successive translations incur ever more spurious references to unmentionable bodily functions.
Meggie
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Princess, I like your ideas, they have great promise. But please don’t assume that Englishmen are incapable of the class of errors outlined in this thread. To be born into the English speaking world confers no magical talent for sound grammar, let alone eloquence. Instead, it usually suggests that all the good fairies were assembled around your crib, and they were all rat-arsed.
Our civil service published a book of the howlers they had read in letters from the British public:
“Dear Sir, I am sending the certificates to get my new born twins registered. Their names are Kate and Anthony, and they are both stapled to the back of this letter.”
“I recognise that the housing department has many pressing issues to deal with. But please bear in mind that I am an elderly widow, and after six weeks I still have a roll of lino stuck in my back passage. When might I expect to be relieved of this nuisance?”
Purportedly seen on a government form during the war:
“Is your wife a widow? (If not, state reasons…)”
Child’s essay, handed in to a teacher in the North-East of England:
“We went to Lindisfarne on the coach, and we saw the Pryery ruwens, and then we went to Bambrer Cassel, and then wadwates.” (And I dare you to try translating that last word. Even her fellow Geordies struggle with it.)
Finally, let us ponder the significance of a memorial stone in bonnie Scotland:
“This stone was erected in grateful memory of, who was drowned in the waters of Leith, by a few affectionate friends.”
Meggie
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
And you must not, under any circumstances, miss the delightful tales of Hoffnung:
“There is a French widow in every bedroom, affording delightful prospects…”
Then try listening to “Half way up, I met the barrel coming down….”
Meggie
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
[quote]Take a sensible English sentence, translate it into French. Then translate the translation back into English.[/quote]
It is in accepted practice that you cannot translate from one language to another flawlessly. If you translate most French phrases to English, word for word, then you will not understand what it means. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the French sentences are wrong. The biggest problem that English speakers have to deal with while learning or attempting to speak French is that they tend to translate English phrases to French, literally, which wouldn’t make much sense.
“I’m giving him this pen,” would translate into something along the lines of, “Je lui donne le stylo.”
If you literally translate this back into English, it would be, “I him give this pen.”
And in Arabic, if I say “I ordered this an hour ago,” the literal translation could also be, “I am student this from one hour.”
This is why translators need to be extremely careful with their wording. The simplest error could twist what the author was stating or implying.
[quote]People whose first language is English [/quote]
Actually, according to some studies or something, educated people who learn English as a second language end up speaking better English than those whose first or only language is English.
I read many articles written by Americans who make heaps of basic grammatical (there, their, were, we’re, its, it’s, who’s, whose, etc. )and spelling mistakes (beleive, grammer, dicctionary) and they’re clearly not typos. However, I don’t find myself being dissatisfied with articles written by ESL students, unless they’re from places like Oman and Saudi. I think this is because we had to learn this language from scratch. We’re probably more familiar with sentence construction than they are.
-ES
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
ES, I dislike you, quite intensely.
But I think you are probably rightl !
When you die, I hope it hurts like stink….
Just because I dislike you so much.
And also because it is “grammar” and “dictionary”….
and I dislike you….
Meggie
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
[quote]ES, I dislike you, quite intensely.[/quote]
I am slitting my wrists as we speak.
[quote]When you die, I hope it hurts like stink[/quote]
And I hope, with every fiber of my ruined body, that you will pay for the funeral.
[quote]Just because I dislike you so much.
[/quote]
Shit.
[quote]and I dislike you….[/quote]
Meggie, I’m begging you. Stop it. I’m this close to raking my eyes out with a tack hammer.
[quote]And also because it is “grammar” and “dictionary”….[/quote]
This is what I said: “spelling mistakes (beleive, grammer, dicctionary)”, so these were just examples of the spelling errors we sometimes have the misfortune of dealing with.
-ES
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Mahmood I understood it, you need to learn pidgin [url]http://www.eyeofhawaii.com/Pidgin/pidgin.htm[/url] so you can understand that gorgeous surf instructor you dream of when you come to Hawai’i.
billT
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
[quote]Oh knock it 0ff with the tack hammer and everything..Sheeesh, I have this to deal with and we aren’t even Jewish.[/quote]
Ouch. Once again, the road to victory is yours.
Anyways, I found this rather hilarious translator:
http://www.systranbox.com/systran/box
Enjoy translating from English to Arabic. It’s almost as funny as the Arabic subtitles in the Hollywood movies on Channel 55.
-ES
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Mahmood, need I remind you of the Americanish?!?!
” I have DROVE to the store today, only to find out that she has WENT home without me, but I AIN’T giving up”
nonetheless, I find [b]life ammunition[/b] to be construed as constructive araenglish, gives it its unique structure!! lol
P.B.
Re: I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
I feel like a complete imbecile trying to deduce what the hell you two are going on about! I understand it’s either an inside joke, or you both work in the same stream?
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Dears
One of the greatest books ever written was an English primer (by a Portuguese getlemen) entitled “English as She is Spoke”!
Well, I must go and do the needful
Salaams
The Johnster
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
ES wrote: “This is what I said: “spelling mistakes (beleive, grammer, dicctionary)”, so these were just examples of the spelling errors we sometimes have the misfortune of dealing with.”
You got to admit she got you there, Meggie.
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Exercising with life ammunition? Hmmmm. Sounds painful. Certainly a way to work up a good sweat.
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
[b]PERHAPS….the article was actually quite right![/b]
In this cost cutting world, when life (pun?) is sometimes seen as cheap, is it possible that they (the ones firing “life” stuff) have re-intruduced the Catapult or the Balista and they are actually hurling anything with a pulse at the “enemy”……. ? π
Also – I work with LOTS of very gifted translators and interpreters – they know the structure of English WAY WAY better than I do (I just speak the language….) most of our interpreters are also Lawyers. So, the quality here is as high as it gets – but still you can get human error…………
And – if you must learn damn FROG – learn a phrase that you can hurl at a friend when you wish to aim abuse in their general direction…. [b]”TU ET FOUTU”[/b] (pronounced: “TWO-EY-FOOT-OO”) which roughly translated means [b]”[b]you[/b] are fucked”[/b]
Bon chance mon ami…..
Mike – Luxembourg
Re: I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Pssst pssst How do you conjugate foutu? π Merci beaucoup.
Re(1): I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
I am totally and utterly confused myself.
I think I need to learn Maggielish and ESlish ..
JJ
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Hey Mike, the frog fucks you in deepth.
je dirais mΓΖΓβΓβΓΒͺme que je t’embroche du trou de bal jusqu’aux amygdales connard.
sur ce, bon appΓΖΓβΓβΓΒ©tit,
tΓΖΓβΓβΓΒͺte de noeud !
Princess Noura
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
Oh knock it 0ff with the tack hammer and everything..
Sheeesh, I have this to deal with and we aren’t even Jewish…..
And as I am a reluctant pyer of funeral expenses…
Darling, why don’t we just get married?
Meggie
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
I suggest that if you wish to learn another language, Mahmood, not to learn French. Le monde francophone isn’t exactly speaking the [i]lingua franca[/i] anymore.
But if you think Aranglish is bad, check out Engrish: http://www.engrish.com
Re: I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
I actually don’t know who the hell Meggie is. I thought she was sarcastically speaking gibberish to prove a point, so I played along.
-ES
Re: I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
And they say you can’t learn anything useful in Mahmood’s Den. This dashes that notion all to hell. I took five years of French and I never learned this useful phrase.
I’m writing it down as I am sure to need it urgently at some point in my life.
Thank You,
Steve
Re: I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
[b]OOOOOOOOoooooooo and OWEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee[/b]
Don’t EVER get on the wrong side of Princess Noura !
I must admit that my French did not stretch to this particular phrase – but with the aid of a friend and a dictionary…… a VERY rough translation is that this is [b]a threat to take your testes and stuff them up your rectum[/b]
My lord – my eyes water at the thought – and God forbid the pain if you had a mad hot Vindaloo the night before!
I tilt my hat to you Noura………. π
Mike – Luxembourg
Re(1): I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
ha! told you so!! π
I WANT TO LEARN FRENCH.
I cannot help but to be wondering if indeed the esteemed writer of the said piece in question is in fact originating from the sub-continent rather that from Arabia, isn’t it? I have been noticing over the years that much of the writing that one is reading in the English language newspapers in the Gulf is having a most south Asian feel to it. Perhaps I am being wrong but who is knowing such things, isnt it?