EGYPTIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!
DUBAIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shaddy investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years’ time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.
QATARI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They’ve been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing, you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows boobs in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
SAUDI SYSTEM:
Since milking the cow involves nipples, the gov’t decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow in on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other.
BAHRAINI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The gov’t tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrainis to milk all the cows at the same time so cut back on unemployment.
LEBANESE SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the government.
YEMENI SYSTEM:
You once had a cow.
But then it got kidnapped.
051229L2132: guys, thanks for your contributions, we can make an encyclopedia of the Arab version of “two cows” here!, thanks to the Religious Policeman for the Yemeni cows, and anons for the ones below (if you want to be credited, declare your names or register!!
KUWAITI SYSTEM:
Upon hearing how popular cows are in the Gulf region, a group of young male Kuwaitis buy a herd. Unfortunately, they attach so many accessories (ski-racks, 3500 watt sub-woofers, nipple lights, etc) that the cows almost collapse under the weight and/or embarrassment. The herd are all tragically killed in a massive pile-up whilst their owners are attempting to perform donuts by the Towers.
IRAQI SYSTEM:
The British Government sends in a herd of 20 cows in a trial run to help a village outside Basra. The villagers are extremely grateful for the extra milk and the health of the children improves daily. A terrorist group then kidnaps the cows and accuses them of being traitors to “the cause� (whatever that is). The terrorists then produce signed confessions from the cows and systematically assassinates each one of them in front of Al Jazeera television cameras.
OMANI SYSTEM:
You have three cows, they are all healthy and produce good quality milk for sale at the market. Unfortunately, your son discovers that the money he received at the market can be used to buy beer. Your grand expansion plans for a new high-tech farm are put on hold indefinitely.
this is going around the internet at the moment and I’m sure there are different versions for each region of the Earth. Good fun though! — thanks Rami
Comments
How Arabs deal with cows
I guess the sudaneese system would be… you have 2 cows.. but who cares really?
The Joker
How Arabs deal with cows
funniest thing I have read in ages…
http://shadyq80.kuwaitblogs.com
Re: How Arabs deal with cows
[color=red][b]IRAQI SYSTEM:[/b]
The British Government sends in a herd of 20 cows in a trial run to help a village outside Basra. The villagers are extremely grateful for the extra milk and the health of the children improves daily. A terrorist group then kidnaps the cows and accuses them of being traitors to “the cause� (whatever that is). The terrorists then produce signed confessions from the cows and systematically assassinates each one of them in front of Al Jazeera television cameras.
[b]OMANI SYSTEM:[/b]
You have three cows, they are all healthy and produce good quality milk for sale at the market. Unfortunately, your son discovers that the money he received at the market can be used to buy beer. Your grand expansion plans for a new high-tech farm are put on hold indefinitely. [/color]
Re: How Arabs deal with cows
[color=red][color=red][b]KUWAITI SYSTEM:[/b][/color]
[color=red]Upon hearing how popular cows are in the Gulf region, a group of young male Kuwaitis buy a herd. Unfortunately, they attach so many accessories (ski-racks, 3500 watt sub-woofers, nipple lights, etc) that the cows almost collapse under the weight and/or embarrassment. The herd are all tragically [/color]killed in a massive pile-up whilst their owners are attempting to perform donuts by the Towers. [/color]
How Arabs deal with cows
[color=red][color=red][b]KUWAITI SYSTEM:[/b][/color]
[color=red]Upon hearing how popular cows are in the Gulf region, a group of young male Kuwaitis buy a herd. Unfortunately, they attach so many accessories (ski-racks, 3500 watt sub-woofers, nipple lights, etc) that the cows almost collapse under the weight and/or embarrassment. The herd are all tragically [/color]killed in a massive pile-up whilst their owners are attempting to perform donuts by the Towers. [/color]
How Arabs deal with cows
You Have Two Cows: From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
You Have Two Cows #1
You Have Two Cows #2
Re: How Arabs deal with cows
bloody hell, this is viral!
How Arabs deal with cows
Jokes!!
Especially Dubaian/Qatari! Hahahahah – and sadly true I suppose… ahahahah
nasrawi
Trackback :: Two Cows Walk into the Desert
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Mahmood brings us both insight and humor with this list of what various Arab countries would do with two cows. Laughing while learning is the best way!…
How Arabs deal with cows
English Version.
You have two cows, both heiffers, both prime Jersey milkers.
1. You fill in a series of forms requesting a milk quota so you can legally milk your cows. Six months later you get a response from the Ministry. “No, you may not.”
2. You decide to milk the cows and use the milk for your own family needs. Of course, it isn’t pasteurised, so the social workers come and take your children away. You are charged with reckless endangerment of infants.
3. In order to make butter and cheese for your own consumption, you continue to milk your cows by hand. Until the social workers return and catch you doing it. They take your cows into care, and you are placed on the sex-offenders register. Your activities are featured in the Sun under the title “Percy the Perv named his cows Charlotte the Harlot and Dirty Gertie”, when in fact their names are Ethel and Edith.
4. Out of the blue the Ministry awards you milking quota rights for 200 000 head of cattle. (Eh???). Ethel, Edith and you are now entirely responsible for dairy food provision throughout the border country. You consider running away. Ethel and Edith try to join a travelling circus but are turned down because they are Wards of Court.
It is around this point that the Ministry Inspector inexplicably vanishes. Same fate befalls the social workers who are never seen again. Milk business is doing very well, but for some strange reason no-one wants to buy your home-made sausages…..
Meggie
How Arabs deal with cows
Then there’s the American version:
Realize that if your two cows can give you 5 gallons of milk a day that can be sold for $2 profit, that 4 cows would make you $4 profit, and so on. So, you work hard and buy your neighbors’ cows and have a huge herd and you then lower the price so you can buy even more cows. Soon, you and several other people control most of the dairy market. However, all of your neighbors are now poor.
Your neighbors, being jealous and numerous, complain to the government about how you “stole their cows and forced them into poverty”. The government then gives you subisdies to NOT have cows.
Later, when you realize you’re still poor, convince Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp to do aid concerts for you.
And still end up being poor.
Ron
How Arabs deal with cows
Hehe I read this one on one of the forums. It’s funny but quite true :).
Khalid
How Arabs deal with cows
[b]YEMENI SYSTEM[/b]
You once had a cow.
But then it got kidnapped.
Alhamedi
muttawa.blogspot.com
Re: How Arabs deal with cows
excellent! I’ll have to add this to the main list! 😉
How Arabs deal with cows
Actually Ron, European farmers are given EU subsidies to not grow any crops on their land. It is a program that is given the grand title of “Set Aside”, and we are all supposed to pretend to believe it is being done for environmental reasons. When in truth it is just a way of forestalling the inevitable food mountains that would result without it. I reckon we should stop these subsidies altogether and let market forces sort it out.
Meggie
How Arabs deal with cows
Thank you again Mr. Mahmood. You have a gift to use the humor and tell the truth… I admire your way to write and your fight for the freedom of the words.
How Arabs deal with cows
Meggie – we’ve got much the same here – and we’re also subsidizing farmers to grow tobacco, but then running adverts proclaiming the dangers of smoking.
Personally, I think it might not be a bad thing to let folks grow their crops and then send the overage to needy folks, but then again, that might just perpetuate the situation the needy folks live in.
Ron
How Arabs deal with cows
aaaaaaaaaaaaah loooooooooooooooooooooool this was HILARIOUS…hahahahha DUBAI system rocked LOL 😀
How Arabs deal with cows
[b]Somali System[/b]
You have two cows.
They find out that they are from different breeds.
They kill each other.