Tag Archives sex

It’s all about SEX.

Yesserie Bob. It’s aallll about the sex.

First, my good friend SaudiWoman is angered by the resurgence of that infantile fatwa designed to – wait for it – Shari’a compliant gender integration by condoning and encouraging women to breast feed unrelated men in order for them to be considered milk-mother and son; hence, allowed under the Shari’a to mingle.

The practical consideration is that us men – being completely and utterly aroused by such an action with bombs going off in our heads that now suckling is concluded, we now just have to get to third base, a feeling which somewhat nullifies the intent of creating a mother/son relationship at best.

Another practical consideration SaudiWoman reminds us of is that for a women to be considered a “milk-mother” in Shari’a, she must have suckled a child of under 2 years of age, a minimum of 5 complete meals at breast. Now, in order for a woman to lactate, she must have been with child very recently, but the quantity of milk produced is hardly enough to satiate a babe and she is right to question the ability of any women’s capacity to produce 5 full meals enough to fill a grown man.

I guess the guys issuing that fatwa just didn’t realise that such production is not actually on-tap, nor is it generated by pressing a ubiquitous button. It’s simple biology. Scientific, in other words, rather than esoteric hearsay. That is, apart from all the other moral, ethical and yes, even practical considerations.

Talking about practical considerations, there is a brouhaha brewing in our fair isle. Again concerning sex. But this time, a (presumably Sharia-compliant) sex-shop owner is on a slippery slope due to poking tongue at a Customs officer. Said officer apparently had umbrage with some of the more salacious products she was trying to slip through his unusually tight nets.

The 32-year-old mother-of-three appeared before the Lower Criminal Court yesterday, accused of insulting a Customs officer in a row as she tried to import some of her products, which include sex aids and games.

The case was adjourned until September 15, but Ms Ahmed, who denies the charge, says it has already cost her a night in a police cell and lost income on products blocked by Customs.

Customs officials say some of the products which Ms Ahmed tries to import are unauthorised.

But Ms Ahmed argues that some are already on sale in pharmacies and other stores and that she is doing nothing wrong, since her target customers are married couples.

GDN – 25 May 2010

While I shall not hazard a guess at what those products might be, the statement that they are actually already are available at “pharmacies and other stores” is really troubling, from health rather than pleasure considerations. But I shall reserve judgement on those until more details become available.

The interesting thing in this particular matter is that we actually have such a shop already operating for a couple of years, situated in the middle of Jid Ali, which I suspect is a conservative village attached to Isa Town, and that the creative businesswoman has built up a large customer base. Good on her. I hope her business continues to flourish, and that she should stop justifying its existence by psychological and religious grounds. If adults are into what she sells, then more power to them.

What’s the connection between the two events then you might ask? Sex. Is the first thing that comes to mind. The second of course is that if our government doesn’t let her go about her business in the presumably legal manner she has already been operated under, and is banned from selling her products based on some man’s squeamish perception of what is good and proper, or worse, on convoluted religious grounds, then convergence might just happen, and like the illustrious Saudi and Egyptian clerics, our home grown clerics will dare to best them!

Do we really want that eventuality?

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[NSFW] MEN: STOP SEARCHING. G-Spot doesn’t exist!

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The illustrious and ancient fount of knowledge, the BBC, reports that scientists could not find the G-Spot even after frisking 1,800 women, so what the hell chance do we mortals have?

This issue has been used to intentionally confounded us – the male species – for centuries. So we’re really happy to finally put this slippery issue to rest. No longer will we have to be lied to, and yes, bullied by pseudo-psychotic-psychologists and so called “health experts”, and worst of all, the greatest satan of them all which thrusts these thoughts into women’s psyche and support them to continue bullying us.

We now know better thanks to science.

So in payment for centuries of abuse, we men feel that it’s OUR turn to dictate the terms. So females listen up:

  • No cuddling No more. Not under any circumstances.
  • When we’re done. You’re done. Deal with it.
  • You shall be turned on by us just looking at you. It works for us.
  • No erogenous zones beyond an area of 10 square inches.
  • Erogenous zones must henceforth be clearly marked.
  • A-la St. Clinton: Oral sex is not real sex. So either learn to enjoy it or condone its vigorous pursuit
  • “Sex on the brain” is not a bad syndrome, it’s a sign of a healthy human being. You are highly encouraged to try it some time.
  • Rolling over and going to sleep shall be an acceptable behaviour and shall suffer no ill consequence.
  • Having multiple sexual partners shall be encouraged (exclusively for men of course, as this is our training regime to keep us sharp, ready and willing to please you.)

These are just some of the new rules-in-progress. I’m sure my fellow males will help add some more pointers for you to acquiesce to. If you feel aggrieved by any of the aforementioned or forthcoming points which become negated, then that shall not invalidate any of the others, which shall continue to stand as is.

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Now I’ll buy it!

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Introducing iPhone 3G. With fast 3G wireless technology, GPS mapping, support for enterprise features like Microsoft Exchange, and the new App Store, iPhone 3G puts even more features at your fingertips. And like the original iPhone, it combines three products in one — a revolutionary phone, a widescreen iPod, and a breakthrough Internet device with rich HTML email and a desktop-class web browser. iPhone 3G. It redefines what a mobile phone can do — again.

mmmmmmmm… yummy!

I wants…. I need… I must have!

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Bahrain is now the #3 Sin City in the World!

 

Update 25.9.15 – It looks like we’re now the Number 3 Sin City in the world, what an achievement! Woot woot!

party-bahrain-sinCurrently in the Middle East and you think it’s impossible to “partay”? You better search twice then because Manama isn’t going to search for you. Manama is just one of the cities where the nightlife is pumped up compared to other Middle Eastern cities. People go here for a couple of reasons and the first thing is: alcohol.

Alcohol is legal in Manama and so is the chance to mingle with the opposite sex. Don’t forget the atmosphere that magically appears when the night strikes and bars and nightclubs flash their lights, accompanied by music that can range from rock to jazz.

Sex, Drugs, and Money: The 10 Sin Cities in the World

  • 10. Pattaya, Thailand
  • 9. Tijuana, Mexico
  • 8. Amsterdam, the Netherlands
  • 7. Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
  • 6. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
  • 5. Moscow, Russia
  • 4. New Orleans, Louisiana, USA
  • 3. Manama, Bahrain
  • 2. Macau, China
  • 1. Berlin, Germany

 

This should be good teeth gnashing material to our esteemed MPs:

Top 10 Sin Cities
Manama, BahrainManama, #8 sin city in the world?
Welcome to the party oasis of the Middle East. Connected by a causeway to nearby Saudi Arabia, Manama is a popular spot for Saudis to kick back from their country’s restrictive laws. Here they can get hammered, go clubbing, mingle with the opposite sex, and if they’re really daring, they can pick up prostitutes — a practice that’s illegal but widely available. While Manama is still largely a Muslim city, a third of its residents are foreigners, so it has led to a much more liberal culture that gave women the vote in 2001, and let them drive cars. For many Saudi males this proximity to an open culture is irresistible and many jam the causeway and fill flights to the city every weekend.

Do you want to see what happens when Saudis cut loose and leave the rules behind? You may need to get in line.

Other cities who made the cut are:

  • 10. Berlin, Germany
  • 9. Macau, China
  • 8. Manama, Bahrain
  • 7. New Orleans, Louisiana
  • 6. Moscow, Russia
  • 5. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
  • 4. Las Vegas, Nevada
  • 3. Amsterdam, The Netherlands
  • 2. Tijuana, Mexico
  • 1. Pattaya, Thailand

And LOOK, NO DUBAI in this list! We won, we won, we won, for a change!

The criteria for entry into this illustrious list? Well

Sin cities in which you can pursue vice and debauchery have existed throughout history — from Rome’s glory days where you could follow up your bet on a gladiator fight with an orgy to Shanghai where you could float for days on drug and sex highs in opium dens.

In the 21st century, new sin cities from around the world have taken up the cause, and we’ve compiled them all on our top 10 list. The criteria for a locale to make our sin cities list is pretty simple: It has to offer a strong presence of gambling, sex, drinking, drugs, and/or partying.

Maybe this is what the GDN was on about yesterday…

Rock on baybee!
thanks Essam!

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M.Report S01E07 – Homosexuality and the Islamist

Sex is never too far from Islamists’ minds, it seems, especially if they are law makers. This might be because they view their legislative role as nothing more than protecting people from themselves – according to their views anyway – and ensuring that society toes the straight and narrow – again, according to their definitions – in order to prevent them from going to hell and eternal damnation.

It could also be for selfish reasons, where they view that with executing that “over-sight” role in parliament and life, they would receive untold brownie points from Allah in Heaven and by that ensure that they can have as much sex as they want then. Deferred payment, if you like.

I’m not sure if anyone calculated how much time they spent in parliament discussing what they find objectionable: sex in general, homosexuality, lesbianism, butch girls, you name it, but the amount of time they dedicate to penalising sexual criminals and child rapists is close to zero. The time they spend in ensuring that personal freedoms are sacrosanct, is probably nil, and the time they consumed even discussing changing their own bylaws in order for them to be more effective is zero.

However, when it comes to a sitting member of parliament maligning not one, but TWO countries with which we have diplomatic ties as “homosexual deviants” – they give him the mic and increase the volume!

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Valentines’ gone horribly wrong

Look, I understand that although some need it, not everyone can afford to buy Viagra, but lust is an untameable beast and some people will go to any length for the mere promise of their own personal nirvana. Sometimes that quest can prove painful, embarrassing, stupid and more often than not all of those facets combine in the little brains (yes both of them) of unfortunate bastards.

Like this one:

nail in penis

Yes, what you are seeing in the picture above, my friends, is a nail inserted into the urethra. It had been lodged there for three days and the chap was suffering abominably, but, he wouldn’t get it seen to for a plethora of reasons, each more banal than the next. The explanations he proffered to the treating doctor was even worse! As a way of explanation, the guy “had no idea” how a nail got up his penis! “he claimed [it] was inserted there without his knowledge by a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him“!

Okay, I have no problem whatsoever with what people do to get their rocks off, as long as they don’t hurt others in the process, but offering such an asinine excuse as “not knowing” and what’s even worse, suggesting that “a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him” is a bit much. Has that now become a ready excuse? Yes I know that some Bahrainis prey on foreigners, but I think this is not an everyday occurrence. At least I hope not.

Never mind, I’ll put this down to the guy being so staggeringly embarrassed by his own private “experiment” that this dipstick just can get his brains rapped around reality.

Poor guy, I guess his Valentines’ is completely ruined. At least because of the valiant efforts of the doctors he will now live to – hopefully – enjoy forthcoming ones!

Happy Valentines’ boys and girls, and for goodness’ sake don’t do anything this stupid!

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Destination unknown

This post might not be safe for work or for those under 18Of course it’s bloody well unknown if you watch this kind of video on a MTV while you’re already killing yourself on an elliptical cross-trainer from hell with a pulse monitor to boot.

Is it any wonder that my pulse jumped from 145 to over 160 bpms?

This was what was playing that early in the morning on MTV (not this Mtv mind you) and with the prevalence of satellite subscription in our homes, I am left aghast when confronted with this crap!

What is it, music can’t exist without showing an inordinate amount of flesh now? I know I sound like an old fogey here but I am really surprised that the situation descended to this level and as it has, I can guarantee you that it will descend even further. The days of using sexual innuendos to sell songs are over, my friends. Please welcome the era of all out sexual acts on public television screens to sell records!

Had that channel been marked as 18+ I wouldn’t mind one bit, but come on this is now simply ridiculous don’t you think?

The following video might not be safe for work or those under 18.

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Camels DO NOT make good pets!

They’re born and bred for the desert, not people’s homes and most definitely NOT to be kept as pets. Apart from their natural stink, they apparently are very horny buggers!

Camels having sex

Pet camel kills Australian woman

A woman in Australia has been killed by her pet camel after the animal may have tried to have sex with her.

The woman was found dead at the family’s sheep and cattle ranch near the town of Mitchell in Queensland.

The woman had been given the camel as a 60th birthday present earlier this year because of her love of exotic pets.

The camel was just 10 months old but already weighed 152kg (336lbs) and had come close to suffocating the family’s pet goat on a number of occasions.

On Saturday, the woman apparently became the object of the male camel’s desire.

It knocked her to the ground, lay on top of her and displayed what the police delicately described as possible mating behaviour.

“I’d say it’s probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing,” the Associated Press news agency quoted Queensland police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory as saying.

Young camels are not normally aggressive but can become more threatening if treated and raised as pets.
BBC News

May she now rest in peace. And put that horny camel down before it does somebody else in!

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