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Satanwala rises anew

Pouting Islamist MP Salah Ali the Muslim Brotherhoods bloc head in Bahrain

And he’s got a new recruit too. The surprising thing – well, unsurprising really – is that this “phenomenon” seems to be a feature of the Muslim Brotherhood specifically. First it was our effervescent Mo Khalid, the original Satanwala, then now it’s the big kahuna at Al-Menbar Islamic Society who has done some “good Internet research” into this “phenomenon” and as in today’s Al-Wasat, he has lectured about it to kids at the old age pensioner’s home in Hidd.

Brilliant.

Let’s read what he has to say about it and educate ourselves from this font of knowledge:

كم أعمارهم؟

وبحسب علي، فإن من تم القبض عليهم من أعضاء عبدة الشيطان في غالبية الدول العربية تتراوح أعمارهم ما بين 15 و24 سنة، وأنهم من خريجي المدارس الأجنبية، ولا يعرفون شيئاً عن الإسلام على رغم أنهم مسلمون، كما أنهم لا يحفظون الفاتحة ولا أياً من سور القرآن، ولا يعرفون أركان الإسلام ولا معنى الشهادتين، ولا أياً من القيم الإسلامية، على حد قوله.

كيف يتعارفون؟

وأفاد علي بأن لعبدة الشيطان أسلوباً في التعارف يكون بصبغ الشعر باللون الأسود وحلق الشارب وقص اللحية بشكل غريب ووضع الكحل حول العين ولبس الملابس السوداء اللماعة وإطالة الشباب شعرهم وربطه من الخلف وارتداء بعضهم قرطاً فضياً في أذنيه ولبس السلاسل والقلادات التي ترمز لشعارهم وعقيدتهم، وتطيل الفتيات أظافرهن ويستعملن «روجاً أسود» مع ارتداء ملابس رسمت عليها أشكال غريبة مثل الجماجم وصور لأشخاص يقولون عنهم إنهم مساعدو الشيطان.

من حفلاتهم

ووصف علي خلال اللقاء مع الشباب طريقة حفلات عبدة الشيطان، وذكر أنهم يذهبون إلى مقابر ثم يستخرجون جثث الموتى كما يقومون بذبح قطة أو كلب صغير يلطخون بدمائه وجوههم وأيديهم ويشربون منه، ثم يقومون بالدوران في دائرة حتى يرضى عنهم الشيطان، وإذا لم تتوافر هذه الحيوانات يخدشون أيديهم حتى تسيل الدماء منهم بعدها يتعاطون المخدرات وحبوب الهلوسة على أنغام موسيقي «الروك» الشهيرة.

عبدة الشيطان في البحرين

ولم يغفل اللقاء التطرق إلى عبدة الشيطان في البحرين، إذ قال النائب علي: «إن أحد الحاضرين للحفلات الشيطانية وهو طالب في المرحلة الإعدادية تلقى دعوة للحضور من جماعة مجهولة نظمت 3 لقاءات منذ العام الماضي في البحرين، في حين تجاوز عدد الحضور 100 شخص من عبدة الشيطان غالبيتهم من الشباب تتراوح أعمارهم ما بين 15 و22 عاماً».

وكشف علي عن أن حفلات عبدة الشيطان في البحرين أقيمت في عدة أماكن، منها الشقق المفروشة المستأجرة، المزارع الخاصة، صحراء الصخير، فلل أحد الأعضاء، حجز قاعة بالفنادق، وصالات الأندية الأجنبية.

Satanic Star

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Salah Ali has defined – with his extensive Internet research and a dolefull of hearsay – who, what, where, when and the whatfors of Satan Worship; let me elucidated – briefly mind you – the gist of what he says:

    1. Those who have been apprehended in most of the Arab countries are aged between 15 and 24 and they are private school graduates and don’t know anything about Islam even though they are Muslim, and they do not memorise the Fatiha or any of the other Quranic suras and they do not know any of the pillars of Islam nor the meaning of the two shahadas and none of the Islamic values.
    2. They get to know each other by dying their hair black and shaving their moustaches and shaping their beards
    3. They wear shiny black clothes and let their hair grow so that they tie it from behind (as in ponytail) and some wear ear rings
    4. sorry this is just getting too disgusting for me to continue to translate, here’s Google to do the dirty for you if you are that interested, or read the original text referred to in Al-Wasat above.

But basically, the hugely popular and elected Member of Parliament, the representative of ALL Bahrainis, is casting stones on large segments of society, and you know what? He’ll once again get away with it; here we have him categorically and in print categorising whom he calls “Satanists” to be those who are in:

    1. In private schools
    2. come from rich or middle class families
    3. who wear black
    4. Salafis and other Islamists such as himself
    5. What, weren’t you paying attention to his second point above?

    6. The youth of both sexes between 15 – 24
    7. Who like rock music
    8. Party in private clubs, etc

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, this is what you pay for, now sit back and enjoy the show.

The words moronic rather than satanic comes to mind when I read this “report”. Another one for the anals of journalism me thinks.

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Shariatmadari is still smartin’

Al-Waqt brought the following to our attention this morning:

Shariatmadari, Iranian leadership consultant

استنكرت فعاليات سياسية ونيابية ورسمية ادعاءات أحد المسؤولين الإيرانيين الذي اعتبر البحرين جزءا من الأراضي الإيرانية. فقد جاء مقال مندوب مرشد الثورة الإسلامية الإيرانية ومدير تحرير صحيفة كيهان حسين شريعتمداري بعد يوم واحد من تسلم الرئيس الإيراني أوراق اعتماد راشد بن سعد الدوسري كسفير فوق العادة لدى الجمهورية الإسلامية الإيرانية. لقد شن مندوب مرشد الثورة الإيرانية في مؤسسة كيهان الصحافية ومدير صحيفة كيهان هجوما غير مبرر على دول الخليج العربي مدعيا أن ‘’البحرين جزء من الأراضي الإيرانية وقد انفصلت عن إيران إثر تسوية غير قانونية بين الشاه المعدوم وحكومات الولايات المتحدة الأميركية وبريطانيا’’. زاعما أن ‘’المطلب الأساسي للشعب البحريني حاليا هو إعادة هذه المحافظة التي تم فصلها عن إيران إلى الوطن الأم والأصلي، ومن بديهيات الأمور أنه لا يجب التخلي عن هذا الحق المطلق لإيران والناس في هذه المحافظة التي تم فصلها!’’.

والغريب أن يأتي هذا التصريح قبيل استقبال الرئيس الإيراني محمود احمدي نجاد في مقر الرئاسة بطهران بعد ظهر أمس سفير مملكة البحرين لدى الجمهورية محملا إياه ‘’التحيات للقيادة الرشيدة وتمنياته لمملكة البحرين حكومة وشعبا دوام التقدم والازدهار’’
الوقت – ١١ يوليو ٢٠٠٧

Apparently this guy – who is one of the Iranian leadership’s consultants – is demanding that Bahrain be returned to the folds of the Iranian Nation as the United Nations declaration to remain both Arab and independent is null and void as it was the word of the dual-Great Satans (Amerika and UK).

The real reason he wants Bahrain back (which he won’t get even in his wettest dreams) is because we beat them fair and square in football and got them kicked out of the World Cup, and this – he thinks – is the punishment we deserve!

On the serious side, he just made the major point for foreign forces to stay in the Gulf indefinitely to counter the expansionist endeavours of Iran’s mullahocracy. Of course when you have ex-parliamentarians like Abdulla Al-A’ali holding their “democracy” at such a “shining example” of how democracies should be, and when people like Isa Qassim continues to shout “Down with Liberals Secularism” on two separate occasions and demanding that Shari’a be applied in Bahrain… well, you get the picture why a lot of people are really jittery.

The political lines between Bahrain and Iran have been burning at one million Kelvin since this story broke when Shariatmadari authored his OpEd in his paper, I just hope that this will get resolved soon and that the Iranian leadership will come on and unequivocally state that they do recognise Bahrain as independent and kick this moron’s ass into oblivion.

UPDATE 18 July, ’07: full translation of original article in Arabic is available here.

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Fried MacBook

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This is not a very good day for me. Since I woke up things just conspired against me and me no likes it.

The latest is that my not-so-lovely MacBook just went belly up for no reason it seems. After struggling with it for the last 3 hours I hear the dreaded “click click” noise coming from the hard disk. The dealer (sorry Sofyan! pickup your phone!) doesn’t have a spare start-up Mac OS X DVD for me to try to start it up and run a Disk Repair. Now I’m off calling my friends to see if they can locate their original DVDs for MacBooks.. my brother (if he calls back) might come to the rescue.

So bloody frustrating… and of course I didn’t back up for a long time!!

Wish me luck. Until it gets fixed, I am comendeering my driver’s desk and computer to do my work (and blogging) on.

Damn!

andanotherthing: noticed that the engine in my car was misfiring, that is after it being in the garage for 2 weeks getting a major 40k service and bodyshop work, I notice it misfiring! They are replacing the ignition coils and I am stranded in the office without a car so I can’t even drive downtown to take the computer to the dealer to be looked at. Lovely isn’t it? 👿

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Fishy logic

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Bahrain Bay development 1
Bahrain Bay development 2
The huge Bahrain Bay development on the coast of Manama, virtually next to the Bahrain Financial Harbour development and opposite those energy efficient Bahrain World Trade Twin Towers, is experiencing a little problem with the little reef they are built upon so as a responsible company, they applied for permission to eradicate those pesky reefs and continue on with their development.

The municipality did not hesitate much to grant that permission, with the following assertion from the committee’s chairman, an elected official:

The council’s technical committee studied the request and found its removal would ensure a better water flow in the area, already crowded by major development projects.

Committee chairman Abdulmajeed Al Sebea’a said the removal would not harm the marine environment and “on the contrary it would benefit from it.”

“We took the decision because it is blocking water flow,” he said.

“The council has been backing the bay project and other development schemes, and we don’t believe that removing the coral reefs will cause any harm to the environment.

“This is not one of the huge fashts like Fasht Al Adhm or Fasht Al Jarem, this is a small one, which is not that important and removing it would ensure better progress of work.”

Mr Al Sebea’a said the council took its decision after studying all aspects of the proposal.

Oh how I am relieved!

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Supercop Escapades, part 1

The benevolent Don Quixote

and we thought that parliamentary work, and being elected, is simple. Hah! No way José! Look at what is expected of you:

You get calls at all hours of the night, even when a concerned citizen spies a drunk public sector worker and expects you to take care of the situation, as you should. So into that brandspankynewlexis you get – with a Don Quixote refrain playing at the back of your mind and race – not stopping at those frivolous red lights, you’re an MP, a representative of the people now – to get to the scene of the crime and have a proper foot-stomping-fist-banging-lung-gutting fit and demand – as is your complete and full right – that the accused submit a blood sample for analysis to determine the quantity he has purportedly imbibed and thus, determine there and then, as a judge, jury and executioner that he be thrown out and as a head of a committee tasked with finding out the transgressions of that public sector, you can now allay any self-guilt and not suffer any insomnia for executing your job as best you could.

Bahraini MP and supercop Mohammed Yousif Yaqoob Al-Mozil - photo credit: Al-Waqt newspaper

Of course, there is that little thing in that book called the constitution which somehow talks about the separation of powers and that this sort of thing might be better done by the judicial authorities, but hey, you’re Don Quixote, not that stupid Sanchez! So it doesn’t apply to you.

Who looks at that book anyway, it’s only good for being used as a doorstop or propping up an unbalanced table or something like that

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Gimme Boob!

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Don’t laugh, this is serious:

احتدم جدل بين علماء دين في مصر ووصل إلى البرلمان بعد فتوى لرئيس قسم الحديث بجامعة الأزهر، تبيح ‘’إرضاع الكبير’’، في وقت انتقدت صحف عدة تدريس كتاب في هذا القسم يؤكد أن الإرضاع يحلل الخلوة بين رجل وامرأة غريبة عنه في مكاتب العمل المغلقة، بحسب موقع ‘’العربية.نت’’.
الوقت – ١٨ مايو ٢٠٠٧

What that little gem above states that a brainfartist at Al-Azhar, that “islamic university” which has imprisoned Kareem due to what they categorise as blasphemous comments on his blog which scorned the greatest and last religion on Earth, has done much more to completely insult our religion – you know, the one they are sworn to protect? – by a brainfart of a fatwa (or as we say in colloquial Bahraini – and this is a literal translation of the “fart” part of the phrase: faswa) – which is supposed to help women who share offices with male colleagues. This is in the same stream of “elevating women and putting them on a pedestal” of course.

What the right dishonourable twat issued his fatwa that should a woman share an office with a male colleague, which is haram (verboten, forgetaboutit, nowayjosé, gostraighttohellanddonotpassgo), as unmarried males and females should not mix, she must be accompanied with a chaperon, or she should breast feed that adult male five times in order for their unchaperoned existence together be Islamically lawful, halal!

How about that for flexibility? Who said that Islam was a rigid religion?

Now. I would not be surprised that men all over the Muslim world standing erect while a queue of women pass by, boobs hanging out and breast feeding the line in order to protect their rights and allow them to live in a halal environment with men.

Islam – according to the respected Al-Azhar, that edifice of education and protector of our religion and spreader of blaspheming law suits, not only condones this sort of behavior, but encourages heads of departments to research and produce this sort of edict!

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Suicide pledge

Suicide pledge - GDN 10 May 2007

Ehm, not to belittle the tragedy and the obvious cry for help, I just couldn’t help but burst out laughing when I read that last paragraph!

This is a girl who attempted suicide who has had her stomach pumped and rather than try to understand the problem so they can resolve it, their idea of a solution is to take her to a police station to sign a pledge to not attempt suicide again!

Yes folks, that’s the deterrent which a girl intent on ending her life is going to pay heed to, a pledge not to do it again.

Morons.

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Broken Aranglish

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Broken Aranglish

Broken Aranglish, originally uploaded by malyousif.



Broken Arabic AND English at the same time at the Honda dealership in Bahrain (National Motor Co.) in Sitra.

You would think that if a company spends literally millions of dinars on their facility, can’t they spend just a few dinars to get a proper copywriter, or at least get a native speaker to check the grammar in passing?

I shudder to think at the amount of detail they actually adopt in servicing their cars!

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3-for-1, Saidi latest brainfart

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Deputy Dawg, Bahraini MP Jassim Al-Saidi

Yep, our effervescent Deputy Dawg™ is encouraging his fellow MPs to get it on:

An Islamist lawmaker has urged his male peers to take four wives, three Bahraini women and one foreigner, in order to help address the issue of the high number of spinsters in the country.

I’m not sure if he’s also including the lone female MP into the sphere of his advice of course, probably not as with his low opinion of women I wouldn’t be too surprised. Foreign women of course do not get regarded at all by him, they simply do not exist but if they do, they are worth a lot less than locals.

What’s all this in aid of then? What’s the motive for his latest stinker?

Shaikh Jasem Al Saidi, an independent with strong ties to the Salafis in the lower house, said that Bahraini men should not hesitate to wed more than one wife for the sake of the nation.

“We do not want to have spinsters in the country and we do not want a rise in the divorce rate either. Taking more than one wife is the solution, and I advise that the members of the Council of Representatives should set the example,” he said.

But his remarks, uttered in a light tone, drew compassionate opposition from the other 38 men who sit in the 40-member council.

“Please, just speak for yourself,” the Islamist deputy was told by fellow member Hassan Al Dossari, while Latifa Al Gaood, the only woman in the lower council, preferred not to comment.

Al Saidi’s suggestion came after the council could not agree on the merits of extending health privileges to foreign women married to Bahrainis.
Habib Toumi :: Gulf News :: 5 April, ’07

Ah, he’s trying to save the country the money that would have been paid by foreign wives for availing of the local health services.

Thank you sir. Now go back to your cave. And take with you all of those morons who voted for you as well.

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Con man – Bahraini style take 2

تأجير المناهل

بعض الإخوة الأعزاء نوابنا الأفاضل .. نراهم يتعاملون مع ديننا الإسلامي بنفس طريقة تعاملهم مع الشؤون السياسية معتقدين بأنه من الممكن لهم تشكيل الدين وما يحلله وما يحرمه حسب ما تمليه عليهم ظروف ( البزنس ) الموجودة في السوق .. يتلاعبون بالحلال والحرام ويكيفونه على المزاج وهم يعلمون بأنهم إن خدعوا الإنسان فلا يمكنهم خداع الرحمن ..

نائب للشعب ومسلم ومصلي للخمسة فروض ومؤدي لجميع المناسك الدينية من صلاة وصيام وزكاة وصدقة ، وهو دائماً ما يعطي صوته ضد المحرمات الدنيوية من شرب للمسكرات ورقص في الملاهي الليلية والنهارية الجهارية مــا يعني أنه ملتزم .. هذا الأخ النائب لديه بناية تجارية حلو ؟ وهذه البناية تقع على شارع حيوي ليلي .. حلو ؟ واستخرج لهذه البناية رخصة لإقامة فندق بثلاث نجوم .. حلو ؟ ومع الفندق رخصة بارات ( آسف يسمونها مناهل ) ورخصة للشكشكة الليلية فكيف يكون هذا حلو ؟ ..

الأخ النائب المسلم استخرج ترخيص ( فقط ) لبيع الخمر والرقص واستلام النقوط في فندقه ، ثم قام بتأجيره إلى مستثمر خليجي ولم يقم هو بالبيع أو بالإدارة والإشراف واستلام الحرام من المال .. بما يعني أن الأمــــوال التي يستلمها مــــن المستــأجر ( المستثمر لفندقه ) حلال زلال ، وإذا كانت هنــاك ( شبهة ) في مال الخمر والرقص فهو منها بريء وسوف يكون مثواه الجنة إن شاء الله .. أما الذي سوف يذهــب إلى النار ويكتوي بالمال فهو المستأجر ..

آنه إللي باط كبدي إنه يتاجر بشغلة ويتبرأ منها ويصوت ضدها في مجلس النواب .. يعني ألحين إللي يصوت في المجلس ضد الحانات والبارات وضد المراقص العربية والكباريهات في البحرين ويطالب بإغلاقها أليس المفروض منه والأحسن له الابتعاد عـــن المتــاجرة فيهـا نهائياً ؟ وإلا شرايكم يا جماعة ؟ ..

طبعاً إحنه لا نتكلم عن المستثمر الخليجي إللي تورط في إستئجار الفندق لاحقاً مع أنه تمصمص من المدخولات العالية سابقاً .. ولكننا بس ننصح الناس إللي عندها بيوت من زجاج بأن لا ترمي بيوت الآخرين بالحجارة والحصى .. الآخرين لو تكسرت بيوتهم فلا من شاف ولا من درى ، لكن النواب عليهم العيون مفتوحة .. فاحذروا ..

Salman bin Sager :: Al-Waqt :: 2 April, ‘2007

Salman bin Sager is calling our attention to a sitting MP who owns a hotel but in order to stand for parliament and appear more acceptable to his voters he got rid of the hotel (temporarily) by leasing it to a Saudi investor. It’s a crappy 2-star hotel but has a bar and a disco and is on a main thoroughfare; hence, is assured of a good income.

What the investor did not bank on; however, is the right honourable MP diligently working within parliament to support the motion to close all bars and discos in hotels of sub-five-star standard. That naturally included the property he leased too! That of course resulted in loss of income and obviously he felt cheated by the good MP and wanted redress. Off to court he went to salvage what is left of his investment.

That investment is – according to another report – is a lease of BD27,000 a month (US$71,400) and he wants to retrieve the post-dated cheques he paid the MP with, 14 of them according to the report which equate to BD378,000 (or about a cool million US). I somehow think that the MP will sit this one out. He’s enjoying parliamentary immunity too much, you see, he can’t be touched, even though that he negated the spirit of the agreement and acted in bad faith, he can’t be touched.

The investor lodged the case against the MP in a Saudi court (which in itself is a brain fart! imagine him explaining to the Shari’a judge that he lost his income because an MP in Bahrain lobbied against bars and discos! I can tell you what that judge will do, probably throw the investor in jail!)

Just so you know, during the run-up to the parliamentary elections I noticed that one candidate was very active in some vigilante activities in apprehending hookers in Hoora and Gudaybia to “clean up the area” he said. The fact that he happens to own a hotel, which, according to the Commercial Registrations records is called the Relax Inn, did not deter him at all. Some have suggested that what he was really doing is getting rid of competition!

I wonder if this is the MP that is implicated in all this?

Anyway, if the MP has any decency, he would not only return those uncashed cheques to the investor, but also compensate him for the breach of trust willingly. He should also change that vice den of his to apartments and rent them to his destitute constituents at a reasonable cost, especially considering the length of time “his people” have been waiting for council housing.

I somehow don’t think that any of these suggestions will happen any time soon.

We deserve the parliament we voted for.

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