Tag Archives twitbthifd

Spinning it, or just fucking selfish and STUPID?

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For all that’s bloody well holy… have a look a this shite:

The Island of Smiles 😉

BAHRAIN is the fifth most thriving country in the Middle East, according to a new study.

Beautiful, right?

Ok, Carry On™ – courtesy of the local rag:

The “Island of Smiles” was ranked 48th out of 155 countries around the world in the Gallup Global Well-being report, which took four years to compile.

The study, which took place between 2005 and last year, found 32 per cent of people in Bahrain were thriving.

Desperate for a glass half full, the editors start their “piece” with a “big bang” sentence, then and only then, the qualification of their ineptitude and inability to be or even attempt to be journalists, start. So, 1/3rd of us on these lovely pieces of Heaven, aka “The Islands of Gloom” are “thriving”.

Brilliant. But they’re not done…

However, it also found that 45pc were struggling and 23pc were suffering – although non-Arab expats were not included in the survey of around 1,000 adults aged over 15.

In fact, Bahrain had one of the biggest percentages of people suffering in the Middle East and was on a par with Pakistan and Romania in those stakes.

HANG ON A MINUTE! What the fuck happened to the previous assertion of “The Island of Smiles” crap? 68% (that’s MORE than 2/3rds of the population) are struggling at best!

What journalistic principles are these bozos working under? Really? Really? No fucking shame at all? They just want the “happy picture” at the expense of everything else?

What’s wrong with them leading the piece with something like:

An international poll affirmed that the majority in Bahrain are struggling in their daily lives, putting paid to the much abused “island of smiles” brand. With the kingdom now ranking last but one in the Gulf in the Global Well-being report.

With 68% being classified either as struggling or suffering, it is quite evident that the adopted policies have demonstrably failed and the country needs much more than glitzy empty marketing campaigns to effect a real change in attitudes and perceptions. A concerted effort must be enacted to tangibly improve people’s lives and livelihoods…

Wouldn’t this effect a better response than misrepresenting the truth?

Of course it would. But the GDN and its owning empire is not interested in effecting change to the better. As long as it lines their pockets, why should they change a formula which has proven successful? The 68% of suffering people can go fuck themselves.

Well, in the spirit of the GDN and its owners, this little critter is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-U-U-U-U-U-L… isn’t he just absolutely cute and cuddly?

aaaawwwwwwwwwwww

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“My Garden” FAIL

It pisses me off when shop clerks think that they become salesmen simply because they carry big-ass calculators to calculate “special discounts” for prospects walking into their store.

What, does it say “mug” on my forehead?

Does respect for you or your shop happen automatically because your moronic employers actually gave you a job even though you’re most probably sludge at the bottom of a barrel from wherever the hell you come from?

So I actually wait to go into the so called garden furniture shop in Tubli, wasting 160 fils granted to Batelco to get the only published number for their shop which I find is connected to a fax machine! I wait to go into their shop with the full intention to buy some furniture – yes, I know you guessed it – for my garden. I spy some pieces which might be worth investigating in the window previously so I stop by on the way home from a fantastic lunch with the family, I even ask my wife to join me so we can quickly make a decision, plonk the cash and wait for the pieces to be delivered.

I browse while I await my wife’s arrival and I spy a teak bench exactly the same as one I already own which has become a favourite of ours. We bought it about 3 years or so ago from Manazil for BD160 and we have been searching for another to make a pair ever since. Unfortunately Manazil ran out at that time. I look at the marked price and get surprised. The label says BD400! I ask my maid – who was with me at the time – to confirm that it’s the same bench and she does. I tell the wannabe salesman that we bought the very same item for BD160 three years ago and he calls me a liar!

The stupid bastard insists that my bench is NOT teak and if it were there is no way that I would have bought it for BD160. I explain to him that my maid confirms its the same. Nope, he’s having none of it. I keep my cool and walk around the shop.

I notice that everything they have has an inflated price tag, doubtlessly awaiting deft digits – albeit belonging to single-celled organisms – to tap out “I can only give you a maximum of 15% discount” on the big-ass calculator. Nevertheless, I notice two possible sets which would fit nicely where I intended them for.

My wife arrives and notices the kidney-shaped teak bench. She too comments that it’s exactly the same as the one we have! She gets excited thinking that we should get it. I point out to the moron that my wife is the third person to confirm our happy acquisition but to him, she’s a liar too! In his single-celled brain, it does not compute that another shop in Bahrain could possibly have sold this priceless gem of his!

I’ve had enough. I tell him that I don’t care much for the price. I wasn’t shopping for a discount particularly, but I could not help wondering that if its price is inflated by more than double what we originally paid – even taking inflation into consideration – then I worry that everything in his shop must have undergone the same treatment; hence, the ready use of the big-ass calculators. Nope, it doesn’t compute either. So, I volunteer, in no uncertain terms, to shove his bench into his smelly orifice, tell him that he lost a customer with the intention to spend considerably more than that bench was worth, and walk out. Never to return to such an establishment.

I think I’ll simply buy my garden furniture on the Internet and ship them across where I am relatively sure that that operation will afford me better prices, bigger selection, less morons to deal with and less shady cowboy outfits such as “My Garden”.

No wonder I almost never see a car parked in front of that moron depo on the Tubli Bay road. Maybe, just maybe, the real moron owning that place will wake up one day and pay attention to the damage “their people” are doing to their reputation.

But I won’t hold my breath.

“My Garden” should be proud of something else to put up on their empty mantle piece though, they should now collectively be proud to be the official TWITBTHIFD holders for the time being.

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MPs banning alcohol? Not a chance!

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MPs demand total ban on alcohol in Bahrain

MPs yesterday unanimously demanded a total ban on alcohol in Bahrain. They voted in favour of a parliament-proposed law banning the import, possession, sale or production of alcohol. But to become law, the proposal would have to be accepted by the government and the Shura Council.

MPs said the current law, initiated in 1956, allowing the import, possession, sale and production of alcohol under government supervision was unconstitutional and should be scrapped.

There is really no reason to panic. Trouncing on personal freedoms is nothing new for this parliament, the one whose job is ironically to do the impossible to protect them. Nor should we expect them even to read the crystal-clear constitution which specifically says:

The religion of the State is Islam. The Islamic Shari’a is a principal source for legislation. The official language is Arabic.

Which means that the Islamic Shari’a is not the exclusive source of legislation – thank God. Because had it been, then those bozos would have knocked us back to the stone ages already, and would have had no qualms about doing so. Their motivation of course is to earn those promised brownie points to tool those promised waiting nymphs in heaven, even at the expense of making hell seem like a better place than the life they want to design for us on Earth.

I’m not sure if I should be thankful for the Shura Council being there which a lot of people regard as the safety valve which would stop such idiotic schemes; I actually wish that it wasn’t there so that these morons would carry on with their schemes so much that people will have to actually rise up against them and kick their hairy butts out of office.

But as we do have the Shura Council whether we like it or not, and I am a bit busy this morning, let me end this quick piece by inviting those 40 morons to kiss my hairy padouka for all I care about them trying to rob what little personal freedoms we do have.

But in the case that they do – for some completely inexplicable reason – get their way and the government does ban alcohol, I will start distilling some good hooch myself and will make it available free to whomever wants, just to spite both!

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“Gulf Idol” lands in jail!

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If you’re a Muslim, you know how sensitive Muslims are about their religion. Heck, wars are still being waged for what some might regard as frivolous excuses. So going on a stunt like the following demonstrates either the stupidity of the person in question, or maybe that alcohol is really not good for you as it impairs one’s judgement.

3 أشهر لخليجي غنى في مكبر صوت مسجد

أدانت المحكمة الصغرى الجنائية الخامسة برئاسة القاضي علي الكعبي وأمانة سر محمد مكي أمس (الاثنين) بحبس متهم خليجي 3 أشهر بتهمة تعد بإحدى الطرق العلانية على الدين الإسلامي بأن دخل مسجداً بحذائه والسيجارة بيده، وقام بالغناء. وتعود تفاصيل القضية إلى أن المتهم قام بالغناء داخل مسجد جسر الملك فهد وهو مرتد حذاءه والسيجارة في يده، وعند سماع رجال الأمن صوت غناء يصدر من مكبر صوت المسجد قاموا بالقبض عليه.

The Lower Criminal Court yesterday (Monday) sentenced a Gulf national to three months in jail after entering the King Fahad Causeway mosque without removing his shoes and while smoking a cigarette. He also proceeded to sing a song through the mosque’s pubic address system. The court charged him with denigrating the Islamic religion in a public way. Causeway police arrested the gentleman when they heard his singing on the mosque’s loudspeakers.
Al-Wasat – 15 Apr 2008

What a twerp! The fool should be thankful for being caught and sentenced in Bahrain. Had that been a few meters away – literally – he would have gotten a lot more than he bargained for. Head chopping wouldn’t be too severe I should think.

Unfortunately the news piece did not carry any information about the song being sung. Has anyone any idea what it might be?

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Valentines’ gone horribly wrong

Look, I understand that although some need it, not everyone can afford to buy Viagra, but lust is an untameable beast and some people will go to any length for the mere promise of their own personal nirvana. Sometimes that quest can prove painful, embarrassing, stupid and more often than not all of those facets combine in the little brains (yes both of them) of unfortunate bastards.

Like this one:

nail in penis

Yes, what you are seeing in the picture above, my friends, is a nail inserted into the urethra. It had been lodged there for three days and the chap was suffering abominably, but, he wouldn’t get it seen to for a plethora of reasons, each more banal than the next. The explanations he proffered to the treating doctor was even worse! As a way of explanation, the guy “had no idea” how a nail got up his penis! “he claimed [it] was inserted there without his knowledge by a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him“!

Okay, I have no problem whatsoever with what people do to get their rocks off, as long as they don’t hurt others in the process, but offering such an asinine excuse as “not knowing” and what’s even worse, suggesting that “a gang of Bahrainis who attacked and robbed him” is a bit much. Has that now become a ready excuse? Yes I know that some Bahrainis prey on foreigners, but I think this is not an everyday occurrence. At least I hope not.

Never mind, I’ll put this down to the guy being so staggeringly embarrassed by his own private “experiment” that this dipstick just can get his brains rapped around reality.

Poor guy, I guess his Valentines’ is completely ruined. At least because of the valiant efforts of the doctors he will now live to – hopefully – enjoy forthcoming ones!

Happy Valentines’ boys and girls, and for goodness’ sake don’t do anything this stupid!

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Ramadhan is not made for working, MP says

And he wants to ensure that those who do want to work during the Holy Month don’t get in the way. He will now issue a parliamentary wish backed by those guardians of Islam, the Muslim Brotherhood’s Al-Menbar political bloc, to restrict work hours during Ramadhan to four whole hours! – but only to Muslims. Non Muslims be damned and you should be grateful that you actually run our country for us throughout the year and in Ramadhan in particular. What do you have to complain about?

mohammedkhalidsatanwala.jpg

While you’re doing that, the effervescent MP tells us

people tend to stay up late at night to pray, work or shop for Eid Al Fitr and needed the shorter hours.

The guy is most definitely ultra-prepared, when he thinks that people are busy buying stuff for Eid, which is 26 days away! That’s foresight for you. As to people staying late, watch TV, smoke their lungs out and stuff their gobs, well, what’s so different from normal days is that?

“And I am not saying that that people who fast becomes lazy during Ramadan and all they do is sleep, but a lot of them stay up late.”

Yes, of course you’re not, thank you for the elucidation.

I’m going to file this under “efficiency, work ethics, Mohammed Khalid’s Islam and competitiveness.”

Couldn’t this guy get a job at the EDB? I’m sure he will increase their efficiency no end!

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Terrorism pays

Mohammed Khalid, that effervescent Islamist MP, wants to gift the five erstwhile Guantanamo detainees BD50,000 (~US$132k) as a “for the suffering and torture they were forced to endure in the US prison camp“.

Huh? Oy! Bub! Listen: when we defended their right to a fair trial we didn’t sign up to make them the luminaries of society. Those men chose to go into a war zone to do goodness’ knows what and they might have participated in terrorism and terrorist activities. These things we will never know now because a trial was not forthcoming and the chat they had with the public prosecutor on their arrival home was not published – as it should have as we have a right to know.

Now you just want to cut them a blank cheque from my money? No way smartypants. They do not deserve this magnanimous gesture of yours. If you want to give them money from your own pocket then that’s completely up to you, but don’t lumber the country with yet another bill just to polish your name in your own circles. This is just not on. And if Saudi chooses to give its own citizens money, a car and even pay for their wedding just because they were in Gitmo for a while, that’s completely up to them and it doesn’t concern us, but don’t you bloody well dare to pull that stunt here boyo.

If the parliament really adopts this brainfart it is as if they accept and even condone terrorism. It is tantamount to announcing to the world that terrorism pays! Wasn’t it you and your ilk who fully supported the Law Against Terrorism in parliament? Whatisitwijyouboy? Double standards is your way of life?

Listen, they made their own beds and now they should bloody well lie in them. They are now free and not thanks to your “efforts” but that of the BCHR primarily and their activist US lawyers. You jammed yourself right in the middle for your own political gains and most certainly not theirs.

So get off that high horse of yours and don’t go throwing money hither and thither, your job as an MP is to ensure that that does not happen not aid and abet it for God’s sake. Get a life will ya!

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Making sense of nonsense

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Whenever I feel down, out of sorts, bored, whatever, and I need a lift-me-up boost, the Bahrain News Agency never fails to provide a copious amount of fun!

Like this:

CLAMP ON BOGUS COMPANIES
MANAMA, AUGUST 12 (BNA) — A COMPANY REPRESENTING BOGUS COMPANIES IN BAHRAIN THAT PROVIDE SERVICES OVER THE INTERNET HAS BEEN CLAMPED ON BY THE INDUSTRY AND COMMERCE MINISTRY IN COOPERATION WITH THE CENTRAL BANK OF BAHRAIN (CBB).
THESE UNLICENSED BOGUS COMPANIES USED THE BAHRAIN-BASED COMPANY AS A CENTRE FOR COMMUNICATIONS, A MINISTRY STATEMENT SAID. INQUIRIES BY REPRESENTATIVES OF THE MINISTRY AND THE CBB SHOWED THAT THE COMPANY PROMOTED FOR 13 BOGUS COMPANIES WITH FINANCIAL, COMMERCIAL AND INVESTMENT ACTIVITIES THAT REQUIRED LICENSING FROM THE CBB, IT SAID. THESE COMPANIES ARE A THREAT TO THE RIGHTS OF CLIENTS AND THE STATUS AND REPUTATION OF BAHRAIN, THE STATEMENT ADDED. THE MINISTRY WARNED CITIZENS AND RESIDENTS AGAINST DEALING WITH SUCH COMPANIES AND URGED THEM TO PROVIDE AUTHORITIES WITH ANY INFORMATION THAT COULD LIMIT THEIR SPREAD.
bna – 12 Aug, ’07

If your head is not spinning yet from the ALL CAPS or the not-so-important fact of making no head nor tail of the above bit of news, then you should really quit drinking and flush that joint and start concentrating.

My take on this is that the Central Bank was caught with it’s collective pants down; they licensed a company which probably went bankrupt but stashed a whole load of cash in their own untouchable accounts and left all the investors struggling for breath and to fend for themselves against creditors or with worthless paper.

THE CBB SHOWED THAT THE COMPANY PROMOTED FOR 13 BOGUS COMPANIES WITH FINANCIAL, COMMERCIAL AND INVESTMENT ACTIVITIES THAT REQUIRED LICENSING FROM THE CBB

And the CBB has the temerity of “protecting the face” of those companies by not naming them? Because, ehm, we don’t do that sort of thing. Haram wallah, a shame and it should be hushed as it might be construed that we are going “against national norms” and all that sort of thing. Brilliant.

THESE COMPANIES ARE A THREAT TO THE RIGHTS OF CLIENTS AND THE STATUS AND REPUTATION OF BAHRAIN

I read this as covering the tracks of the thieves and who would do that unless that old idiom “thick as thieves” stands true in this situation?

THE MINISTRY WARNED CITIZENS AND RESIDENTS AGAINST DEALING WITH SUCH COMPANIES AND URGED THEM TO PROVIDE AUTHORITIES WITH ANY INFORMATION THAT COULD LIMIT THEIR SPREAD.

Ah, I get it now. The government is encouraging us citizens to sharpen our divination skills in telling fortunes and reading coffee sludge as well as the art of Advanced Government Gobbledigook Interpretation in order to ascertain and divine the names of the companies and individuals involved. So if we fall into their traps again, who is to be blamed other than ourselves? The government after all has made it amply clear that we should not deal with these unnamed bogus companies.

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Shi’a Triple-Play

It’s like the Shi’a “leaders” in Bahrain are aiming for a home run; the bases are pretty loaded now, we just need one more good screw-ball pitch and we’re in!

Brilliant. Well done. Let’s ignore the first two points and concentrate on the third for now. The thing that prompted it is this picture:

Mixed shia and sunna prayer in the Bahraini parliament led by Jassim Al-Saidi, an Islamist Salafi Wahabi MP

The above, my friends is a prayer conducted in parliament led by Jassim Al-Saidi, a known Wahabi extremist and the guys praying behind him are (from L to R) Jawad Fairooz, Ali Salman, Adel Al-Moawdah and I don’t know the fourth person, but from their stances you would know that the first two are Shia while the second are Sunnis. Big deal, right? Actually, it should have been a cause for celebration as it shows that “the leaders” of both communities can actually co-exist and can accept the others; thus, firmly planting the seed of social cohesion and anti-sectarianism.

That’s the theory, but some has seen this event as a total and utter humiliation of the Shi’a! “Why would Ali Salman, the protégé of Isa Qassim – the defacto leader of the Shi’as in Bahrain – pray behind a known sectarian person from the Sunna? This is totally unacceptable, off with his head!”

The Al-Wefaq PR machine was overworked in the few days and weeks following that incident with various talks about that there is nothing wrong with it, etc. It was almost forgotten – well, in Bahrain things like this are never allowed to be forgotten, grudges are held for centuries! It has now resurfaced due to a huge stinker of a brainfart by the ex-labourer-now-member-of-parliament-turbaned-good-for-nothing-guy:

brainfartist MP Hamza Al-Dairy

منتدى الدير: ما هي قصة صلاتكم خلف السعيدي؟

الشيخ: أنا لم أصل خلف السعيدي لحد الآن، وكل واحد يعرف تكليفه، والأمور تقدر بقدرها، وبظروفها الموضوعية، أنا شخصياً أقول هذا هو ما يدعو إليه مذهبنا، هذا ما يدعو إليه أئمتنا صلوات الله عليهم، هذا هو ما يدعو إليه فقهاؤنا، هذا هو ما يراه ويلزم به الإمام رضوان الله تعالى عليه والسيد علي الخامنائي، أنا لا أتهمه بالنصب، لكن أقول إذا كان الشيخ السعيدي ناصبياً فإمام الحرم أكثر نصباً منه، ومع ذلك فالإمام الخميني والسيد الخامنائي يحرمون أن تصلي جماعة في بيتك في مكة والمدينة ويوجبون عليك أن تصلي خلفه.

منتدى الدير: في تصريح سابق للسعيدي لمنتدى الدير عندما سألناه عن إذا كان سيصلي خلف أبرز الرموز الشيعية في البحرين مثل الشيخ عيسى قاسم وذلك من أجل التقارب بين الطائفتين قال بأنه لن يصلي خلفه أبداً ما دام على عقيدته، لماذا دائماً تكون المبادرة من طرفنا نحن؟

النائب: لأننا مأمورون، أئمتنا يأمروننا بكذا، تكليفنا الشرعي يأمرنا بهذا.

منتدى الدير: هل تكليفنا الشرعي يأمرنا بالصلاة خلف النواصب؟

الشيخ حمزة الديري: نعم، نعم، يقول لنا صلوا خلفهم.
منتدى الدير – Google translation

This is beyond disgusting.

Now, as expected, the “wronged” party – Jassim Al-Saidi – has mounted his horse (rightly too I think) in demanding an apology not just for himself, but also for the imams of Mecca and Medina and wants Al-Wefaq – to which Al-Dairy belongs – to issue a statement declaring their position from Al-Dairy’s assertions. But Saidi, true to his reputation takes it even further:

وقال ”إن القول إنني ناصبي وإن أئمة الحرم هم اشد نصبا للعداء مني فهذا قول لا ينبغي السكوت عنه، وهو دعوة صريحة من احد أعضاء اكبر كتلة نيابية إلى التكفير والإرهاب ودعوة صريحة لتكفير الطائفة السنية في البحرين وخارجها وهي دعوة صفوية خبيثة تشبه إلى حد كبير الدعوات التي يطلقها التكفيريون بين حين وآخر في منتدياتهم وأقلامهم المسمومة التي تفرق ولا توحد وتكفر المسلمين من دون وجه حق”ØŒ حسب قوله. وأضاف السعيدي ”أن الديري اليوم لم يقذفني ويتهمني بالكفر ونصب العداء لآل البيت فحسب بل تعدى ذلك بالتطاول على رموز أهل السنة والجماعة وتعدى على أئمة أهل السنة والجماعة، واعتبر أن أهل السنة ينصبون العداء لآل البيت وتعدى بذلك الحدود الوطنية ليجعل القضية على مستوى الوطن الإسلامي، ويقول لهم إن صلاتكم في المسجد الحرام تعتبر صلاة وراء ناصبي، فأين هو من دعوات التهدئة وعدم التكفير وعدم التطاول على العملاء وشيوخ الدين؟ وأين هو من احترام مشاعر المسلمين الذين اتهمهم زورا وبهتانا بأباطيل لا أساس لها من الصحة؟”.
وأكد السعيدي ”أن صلاة الوفاق ورئيسهم ورائي لا ينبغي أن تكون بكل هذه الحساسية، فنحن المسلمين لا يوجد لدينا فرق بأن يؤمنا عربي أو أعجمي أو أسود أو أبيض طالما كان موحدا لله عز وجل لا يشرك به شيئا وأن التحرج الواضح من قبل الوفاق ومناصريها من الصلاة خلفي يدل على البغضاء المخفية في الصدور وعلى الحقد الدفين والكراهية لأهل السنة والجماعة”
الوقت – Google translation

And the spiral will continue with this slug-fest for a few weeks or even months and for tens of years it will be referred to to show “the depth of depravity of the other side” and what do we poor citizens get from this worthless parliament?

BD20 for every citizen which the government hasn’t even approved yet, so we realistically don’t get anything other than to continue to wade through the quagmire of sectarian strife perpetuated and propagated by none other than what we choose to call “our leaders” whom we have put in parliament and whom we pray behind.

We truly deserve the government we get.

The right and proper thing to do now, as far as Al-Wefaq is concerned, is immediately throw Al-Dairy out on his stupid ass. A person like this should not be allowed to represent us. He has damaged the cause of not just Al-Wefaq but the whole Shi’a community worldwide and has amply demonstrated his utter stupidity that Al-Wefaq does not need now.

By his own admission in the interview he classifies his contribution as zero, so Al-Wefaq will not be missing his brain-juice. Throw the stupid twerp OUT. NOW!

nasbi – ناصبي – is a person who declares his hate of the progeny of prophet Mohammed and regards himself as their enemy, which in essence makes the person a heretic. By inference that person also detests the Shi’a and all that entails. A very choice word for an elected member of parliament to use, is it not?

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