Some dimwit decided to build and launch an effing SATELLITE into space to track the moon and its phases. It will be outfitted with a camera which will send detailed images of the moon back down to earth to one of the turbanned offices so that they can decide when the start of another Muslim month should be.
It’s costing them US$ 8 million.
Do you really think that this will wash with the other turbulent turbanned lot? Not a bloody chance. “It’s gotta be seen from the ground,” they’ll say and they won’t find much opposition.
For a people who have perfected astronomy, maths and algebra, doesn’t it boggle the mind that use of our own sciences to determine the birth of a new moon is outlawed by these turbanned lot? Do we have to depend on a space-craft to do that for us? And for what? To reject the plain truth of course. It’s gotta be seen by the naked eye from the ground. They will believe a one-eyed, cataract infested person against science.
Anyone other than I hearing the sound of 8 million greenbacks being flushed down the toilet?
Comments
Why the hell bother?
Alternatively, they could save themselves $8 million and view the moon live from a variety of perspectives here: http://www.fourmilab.ch/earthview/vplanet.html
Re: Why the hell bother?
I hear two sounds now, especially after I’ve visited your link. Both sounds are attributed to the person(s) who approved such a farsical project: 1. brain fart, and 2. in recognition of that fantastic salesman: kaching!
Why the hell bother?
I feel like crying right now.
It’s amazing how we Muslims waste so much time and energy (and money!) arguing over when the new moon will be born, or how to move your index finger during prayer, or if gummy bears are halal, or how to shave your pubes.
Surely, we are going through the Dark Ages of Islam.
Re: Why the hell bother?
who’s this “mufti” Desai guy? is he for real? it looks like he’s either a comedy show or very much deserving of a silver bullet.
Why the hell bother?
If my memory serves me correctly, in the KSA,
the introduction of all new technologies was predicated on some “religuous use”.
Whether is was radio,telephone,TV.
So now there is going to be a satelite, that takes pictures of the moon, that will require a computer with an internet connection to get the image of the moon, so that the exact time of the new moon can be announced via the Mosque.
Time to buy internet stock in the KSA.
Why the hell bother?
Or they could pay someone like me $ 7,500,000 and I will install a really high-tech piece of software on their computers. Here’s a preview of the ground-breaking software needed to resolve such disagreements.
http://www.calculatorcat.com/moon_phases/moon_phases.phtml
Edjamacated Guy
Or my favorite…
I went back a step to the “Men” section and found this one:
http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=8964
Re: Or my favorite…
now we know that this guy has a permanent brain-fart. I wonder if it hurts him enough to make him stop and think? it doesn’t look like it perusing his illustrious site.
Ouch!
I am glad I don’t have hair issuing forth from my hind parts! If I did I am not sure I could take a razor to it without slicing myself a new crack 😀
It does scare me sometimes when I think of all the Muslims out there who actually seek guidance on such issues…. and it does seem pretty dark in here to me, too.
Thanks for the laugh, Fahd!
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
Or how about this one:
Question: Can a man out of his love for his wife say that he does not want any hoors and only her? Would that be considered ungratefulness
Answer: It is appropriate for a husband to express his love for his wife in those words.
Now what I can’t figure out is if they mean “houris” in Jannah or “whores” in this life! 😀
Re: Or how about this one:
Hey this guy is amazing.. he answers the question that has been tormenting men since the dawn of eternity..
http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=11124
SEE ladies.. size DOESN’T matter.. at least according to Islamic shari’a 😉
Unless it is cut off!
Then a woman has a right to a divorce! 😉
I also like this one:
Question: Allah has made only wives and slave-girls halal for men to have intercourcse with. Can you explain who these slave-girls are and what qualities do they have?
In this age and times who can be classified as slave-girl? Since the possibility of acquiring a slave-girl like the earlier Muslims used to have them and also having multiple wives is next to impossible in these times, is there a derivative of a slave-girl that one could have?
Answer: The slave girls refer to those non-Muslim woman who are captured in Jihaad by the Muslims. They are distributed among the warriors according to the laws of distributing spoils of war.
Oh great!
Why the hell bother?
Mahmood can you please blog specifically about this Desai guy! I think he deserves it! And the person who find’s the funniest fatwa wins a prize..
P.S. Please indicate to the rest of the world that not all Muslims are retarded like this person.
Why the hell bother?
Well I have been perusing that site and have learned from the esteemed scholar that a man’s gallbladder is covered with hair and that a woman produces semen when she has an orgasm…
😉
Re: Unless it is cut off!
[quote]Answer: The slave girls refer to those non-Muslim woman who are captured in Jihaad by the Muslims. They are distributed among the warriors according to the laws of distributing spoils of war.[/quote]
Actually, for all the crazy things on that site, this one I know about well enough 😀
Via the Koran and Bukhari (links upon request) captured non-Muslim females have their previous marriages annulled, and are given to the victors as slaves for the very self-righteous reason of: “If we didn’t take them as slaves, who would care for them since we have slaughtered all of their men?”
The ‘spoils of Jihad’ is a very common thread throughout Islam’s history. Allah even tells Mohammed that the spoils are a gift for fighting in his name.
Why the hell bother?
Personally, I find it amazing that people still use a lunar calendar in the first place. It’s far from regular – the moon’s orbit around the earth is slowly increasing, making the orbital period longer. Not only that, you’re using the synodic month, not th sidereal month anyway, so a muslim lunar ‘month’ is based on the incorrect orbital period of the moon in the first place 😛
But then again, I’m an astronomer by trade. I live on sidereal time.
Why the hell bother?
My favourite one is this one.
Thanks to Jowhara for the link!
Why the hell bother?
I can settle this satellite business quite effortlessly and save millions of dollars.
I have established a celestial observatory at my dinner table next to a large window through which I have a clear view of the heavens above. I call it the Steve The American Lunar Observatory & Breakfast Nook. For a mere million bucks I can observe the phases of the moon and report them on a website for all to see. Hire me and you are actually saving seven million bucks!
I’m just happy I could help.
Steve
Why the hell bother?
Long live the Turbanator!
we should get this “Imam” to join the blog, then we could ask him a few questions,
Please, I can’t help a terrible feeling of pressure building inside my stomach and bowels every time I read your advice, my eyes cross, i lose my hearing, my hands tremble and relief only comes when I completely shit my pants. What does this mean O sage?
Re: Why the hell bother?
I never understood the fascination with the ask-Imam sites about sex advice. And the questions! It’s like these people are so afraid of offending God by not shaving the right hair, or by not controlling subconscious bodily fucntions. You’d think that God wanted only robots and Angels, not humans.
As if a Turban has ever had good sex in his life. You’d get the same results from asking a Catholic Priest.
Re: Why the hell bother?
From [url=http://jowharaschamber.blogspot.com/2005/04/advantages-of-importing-your-wife-via.html]Jowhara[/url] as well:
He bolded the ones that he thought were ‘debatable’. Find your own ‘debatable’ points .. I have a few.
1. [b]In most cases she will be cleaner.[/b]
2. She will know how to cook all of the food your mom cooked.
3. She will have the food ready when you come home.
4. She won’t complain about you asking her what are you going to cook today, everyday.
5. She will speak your home language perfectly.
6. [b]Not knowing English, it will be hard for her to communicate with potential adulterers.[/b]
7. She won’t be able to decipher love emails/letters from your secretary.
8. She will think you are top dog in intimate times.
9. She won’t complain about how small of an allowance she will receive.
10. [b]She will be more accepting of a 2nd and 3rd wife.[/b]
11. When you hit her, it will be because she doesn’t listen well, not because you are an asshole.
12. If she pisses you off, you can always wahdeeha ala umha(send her to her mum).
13. she could teach your kids how to read/write arabic better than a domestic could ever.
14. [b]She would be in better shape than a domestic, you know, from all the farm and house work.[/b]
15. They expect to raise the kids and will do a great job. Different from the domestic gold diggers looking for doctors so they can sit on their fat lazy butts and gossip all day long while their kids are in day care.
16. Eighteen year old girls think Thirty year old guys are hot in the middle east
I think the one that make me sick is actually:
[b]11. When you hit her, it will be because she doesn’t listen well, not because you are an asshole.[/b]
No, it is because you are, in fact, an asshole.