We went to bury a relation yesterday. The old lady was ill for a long while unfortunately.
She was much loved by her children, relations and the community around her.
May she rest in peace now.
This is the "Shi’a" cemetery in Hoora, in the Bahraini capital Manama. Due to the copious rains we’ve had recently, even the cemetery got clothed in green and yellow all around, particularly the weed Senecio glaucus which is a nice change for this sad and normally drab place.
There are specific rights to the Muslim burials; chief amongst them is that the head of the deceased must be laid toward Mecca (the feet pointing away from it); hence you see all the graves are aligned in that direction (towards the West in Bahrain) the face, not the head, of the deceased must face Mecca. In Bahrain’s case, Mecca is to the West, so all graves are aligned North (head) to South (feet). The body is laid on its side so that the face faces the West (toward Mecca). The dead person must be washed in a specific way before burial, and then the body is laid in the ground shrouded in cloth.
The cleric then reads from the Quran and implores Allah to take mercy on the deceased then the grave is closed by heaping sand in.
After that the family line up under a specially constructed awning (it gets rather hot in this area, especially in summer) to receive the condolences.
They retire after that either to the condolence hall in their city or village where they continue to read from the Quran and receive condolences for 3 days.
On the afternoon on the third and final day they go back to the grave and read from the Quran and bid he deceased farewell and with that the official mourning ends.
Some people continue to visit the graves of the dead especially on Thursday afternoon or Friday morning to read from the Quran and continue to implore God to take care of their beloved.
Part of this process is a contentious point between various Muslim sects; what I described above is what the Shi’a do, the Sunna follow a slightly different route in the peripheral issues, but remain the same in the core.
The really beautiful thing about this particular funeral, is that it resolutely demonstrated the goodness of Bahrainis and that they do not care at all about sectarian differences.
Both Sunna and Shi’a stood behind the coffin and performed the "prayer of the dead" lead by a Shi’a cleric. There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation of whether one would stand and perform his duty by praying for the dead person; they just stood there, some crossed their arms as they would in their prayers, while others let their arms hang to their sides normally. Both listened to the words intoned by the cleric, and all responded by repeating "Allah Akbar" at the appropriate times.
This typifies Bahrain, I think. We might bicker sometimes about peripheral issues, but when it comes to the real thing, to the core issues, we are united and don’t believe in differences between us. There are only a few who promote sectarian differences, but because of the central goodness of within us Bahrainis, we will most surely defeat them. This funeral demonstrated this completely.
The picture shows people just leaving the grave site after the burial formalities.
May Allah accept the soul of the dearly departed to His bosom. I ask you to think about this lady in your prayers.
edit: thanks to Ali for correcting me on this major slip! Sorry :blush:
Comments
Our condolences, from my family to yours, on the passing of your relative. Thank you for telling us about the ceremony, as well, and I hope the family’s burden of grief is light.
thanks mate.
the last poster’s name getting reposted is still happenning. i keep getting Jaffar somebody where my name should be
Sorry for that, in theory it shouldn’t happen as I have disabled that plugin (wp-cache) completely. Can you please clear your cache in your browser and delete cookies. Maybe that will help.
My deepest condolences to you and the lady’s family.
As for the the specific rights of the burials, the “face“, not the head of the deceased must be laid toward Mecca. In Bahrain case, Mecca is to the west, so all graves are aligned north (head) to the south (feet). The body is laid in it’s side position so the face faces the west (Mecca).
CWT, I got “derwi” where my name should be!
Oops, thanks Ali. I’ll correct the article. I completely suck at directions! :blush:
Our condolences Mahmood on the loss of a family member. You are in our prayers.
Condolences from right here
3atham allah ajrakom…
Thanks for taking the time to explain about the customs; my condolences for your loss.
the precious lady who died happens to be my grandmother. my friend showed me this site. are you psycho? respect the dead and take this picture down. you are not my relation. how can you be so insensitive at a time like this when my family is so hurt by her death. insensitive freak. take the piture down before i contact authority.
Condolences on the passing of a loved one.
May she rest in Peace.
Deena, I am sorry for your loss. I share your sorrow, and although the dear lady was not my direct relation (she is by marriage) I was one of the people who had done my duty and privilege of carrying her coffin from the ma’atem through to the cemetery and took part in her burial.
Also doing my duty, I have again went to the ma’atem and offered my condolences to her sons, grandsons and other relations and I shall go do the same thing today.
I will ask her son today if he minds having this particular picture – which I have taken to share with the world our custom, and if you will notice it is a way away from the actual grave which again is intentionally is not shown to keep away from sensitives such as those you displayed. However, if her sons indicate that they are uncomfortable with the picture or the content of this article, I shall remove any reference to her forthwith and offer my apology.
Being in Ireland yourself, rather than being with your dying grandmother here, must have been very difficult for you. I hope that my offering of the condolences, and participation in the actual funeral, burial and the condolence hall – as have done many others who loved her and had respect for her and her family in Bahrain – would ameliorate some of your pain.
May Allah accept her soul in Heaven and alleviate the pain and grief of her family.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing the ceremony with everyone. It’s remarkable how similar the ceremonies for Christians, Muslims and Jews are.
I am sorry for your loss mahmood and deena.
My sympathies to both Mahmood & Deena.
Who takes a camera to a funeral? :ermm:
DEENA: I spoke to your father this morning, and other members of the family, as promised.
Your father is of the opinion that it is completely up to me whether I want to use the picture. I have printed out and given him the article and comments to base his decision on. Other members of the family didn’t see “a big deal” into it, especially when you consider the article itself.
However, to remove any further sensitivities in the matter, I have decided to remove that particular picture, even though I feel it is very poignant although non-intrusive at all (the grave itself is not shown, and had you not known that it was your grandmother’s funeral, it could have been anyone’s) I also felt that the original picture would draw people to read the article and join me in offering a short prayer to your grandmother’s soul.
I shall also regard your outburst and threats as nothing more than coming from your hurt, so I’ll let them pass.
Allah yirhamhah.
Sandrine, the answer to your question is almost everyone. They’re called mobile phones.
Hello Mahmood,
Adamallah ujurukom, my Condolences on the passing of your family member.
Death in ones family always brings life into perspective. Our lives do not have to be so hard / complicated; anything can be solved or resolved.
Yet, we as intelligent beings never get the lesson that Allah bestows upon us.
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I agree 100% with your comments.
I wonder who would benefit if there was a ‘secretarian divide’ within the Bahraini population? We as Bahraini patriots should be wary of the sayings: “Divide and conquer” & ‘United we stand, Divided we fall’
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May your relative’s soul rest in peace and may the doors of ‘Al Jenna’ be wide open to her. She will be in our prayers.
first of all yes, my so called “threats” were out of hurt. thank you for performing your duty. i just think its quite weird for someone to be taking pictures at a funeral. i totally agree with your article wanting to show the rest of the world arab traditions and im totally fine with that. its just that the picture is a bit much even though it doesnt show her actual grave. thank you for your co operation and sorry once again for the rudeness
If you feel it is so important, why didn’t you discuss burial traditions when you’re father, God rest his soul, passed on. Why use someone else’s grandmother?
The privacy issue comes up again. It’s interesting. To
take a picture with a traditional camera and distribute
copies of the photo would be seen as distasteful, but
we have all become used to the process of digital
images being disseminated all over the web. Are
manners and mores changing in this regard?
I remember my grandfather’s funeral. It was a great
day. So many people from the local community turned
up, which was very touching. I saw so many relatives
that I’d missed for years. He got a great send-off. The
coffin, the grave site, the church, the ceremony were
so dignified and so warm. I wish I had pictures. He’d
have loved it. It was his kind of day – busy but relaxed,
full of people, and full of good will. There were tears in
church, of course, but my grandmother, my mother,
my brother and I were all laughing on the way there
and on the way back.
If I’m lucky enough to have that kind of good closure to
a good life, then you’re welcome to document it.
Oh: and I want my headstone to say, “If you can read
this, you’re too close.”
Scott
Sandrine:
Thank you for your condolences Sandrine. They are much appreciated.
I didn’t because I was somewhat kept busy with burying my father, rest his soul, receiving well wishers, consoling myself, my brothers and the rest of the family, and doing the rest of the things an eldest son is supposed to do. Had I had the time, I would have described the event. I still might.
Mr. Mohammed Al-Hilli, the dearly departed’s eldest son, called me last night and we had a long conversation about the issue, what I can relate to you is this: he completely supported me, he supported my use of the removed picture as he – and other elders of the family – did not find any offence in using it, and he thanked me for describing the burial event in a respectful and honourable manner. I am eternally grateful for his support, not just in this instant, but others as well.
Mr. Mohammed was a good friend of my father’s, they were colleagues and regularly visited each other. As such I do regard him as an uncle, a family member, and harbour enormous respect for the gentleman.
Sandrine, the description of the funerial arrangements here do not differ from my own father’s. For your information (I am sure a lot of people have read the inference anyway) I was not only describing the dear lady’s funeral exclusively. However, I must confess that as a less-emotionally connected person participating in it, I was an observer too and all I have related are those observations which I hope that people will benefit from, like I have, to deal with our own grief.
mahmood.. i spoke with my father today.. he spoke of you with honor saying how you and your brother carried my grandmothers coffin with its heaviness. i thank you and your brothers for this. i also read your article and i do agree with you: in our family there is no differentiation between sina or shiaa, we are all united muslims and i thank you for portraying this. i hope this can be used as an example for muslims everywhere. i take back all i said before. I had no idea what was going on as im so far away from home the details were very blurry to me, my father made me see them clearly today. I have no objection if you want to put up the picture once again, as she was an amazing woman she should be remembred in our hearts forever. thank you once again mahmood for the honor that you have bestowed on our family. allah yr7mha o ya’3med roo7ha il jenna..
Deena, thank you and don’t worry about it. You are like my daughter, and I completely understand the pain you felt being so far away.
At your age, my own grandmother passed away when I was in Scotland and I felt so distant and alone and angry too.
May Allah accept their souls in Heaven and forgive them their sins.
Well well well! You also claim to have graduated as an airline pilot, but one who completely sucks in all directions, ha?
With the picture changed, this line is now dated and no longer pertinent.
admin edit: this person uses several identities to spam the site, please ignore
Mahmood you must go to to the Clock Roundabout in Riffa and look to the right while heading to the traffic department coming from the direction of the roundabout. Take some pictures and post them here, this scene will probably not repeat for some years to come