Making sense of nonsense

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Whenever I feel down, out of sorts, bored, whatever, and I need a lift-me-up boost, the Bahrain News Agency never fails to provide a copious amount of fun!

Like this:

CLAMP ON BOGUS COMPANIES
MANAMA, AUGUST 12 (BNA) — A COMPANY REPRESENTING BOGUS COMPANIES IN BAHRAIN THAT PROVIDE SERVICES OVER THE INTERNET HAS BEEN CLAMPED ON BY THE INDUSTRY AND COMMERCE MINISTRY IN COOPERATION WITH THE CENTRAL BANK OF BAHRAIN (CBB).
THESE UNLICENSED BOGUS COMPANIES USED THE BAHRAIN-BASED COMPANY AS A CENTRE FOR COMMUNICATIONS, A MINISTRY STATEMENT SAID. INQUIRIES BY REPRESENTATIVES OF THE MINISTRY AND THE CBB SHOWED THAT THE COMPANY PROMOTED FOR 13 BOGUS COMPANIES WITH FINANCIAL, COMMERCIAL AND INVESTMENT ACTIVITIES THAT REQUIRED LICENSING FROM THE CBB, IT SAID. THESE COMPANIES ARE A THREAT TO THE RIGHTS OF CLIENTS AND THE STATUS AND REPUTATION OF BAHRAIN, THE STATEMENT ADDED. THE MINISTRY WARNED CITIZENS AND RESIDENTS AGAINST DEALING WITH SUCH COMPANIES AND URGED THEM TO PROVIDE AUTHORITIES WITH ANY INFORMATION THAT COULD LIMIT THEIR SPREAD.
bna – 12 Aug, ’07

If your head is not spinning yet from the ALL CAPS or the not-so-important fact of making no head nor tail of the above bit of news, then you should really quit drinking and flush that joint and start concentrating.

My take on this is that the Central Bank was caught with it’s collective pants down; they licensed a company which probably went bankrupt but stashed a whole load of cash in their own untouchable accounts and left all the investors struggling for breath and to fend for themselves against creditors or with worthless paper.

THE CBB SHOWED THAT THE COMPANY PROMOTED FOR 13 BOGUS COMPANIES WITH FINANCIAL, COMMERCIAL AND INVESTMENT ACTIVITIES THAT REQUIRED LICENSING FROM THE CBB

And the CBB has the temerity of “protecting the face” of those companies by not naming them? Because, ehm, we don’t do that sort of thing. Haram wallah, a shame and it should be hushed as it might be construed that we are going “against national norms” and all that sort of thing. Brilliant.

THESE COMPANIES ARE A THREAT TO THE RIGHTS OF CLIENTS AND THE STATUS AND REPUTATION OF BAHRAIN

I read this as covering the tracks of the thieves and who would do that unless that old idiom “thick as thieves” stands true in this situation?

THE MINISTRY WARNED CITIZENS AND RESIDENTS AGAINST DEALING WITH SUCH COMPANIES AND URGED THEM TO PROVIDE AUTHORITIES WITH ANY INFORMATION THAT COULD LIMIT THEIR SPREAD.

Ah, I get it now. The government is encouraging us citizens to sharpen our divination skills in telling fortunes and reading coffee sludge as well as the art of Advanced Government Gobbledigook Interpretation in order to ascertain and divine the names of the companies and individuals involved. So if we fall into their traps again, who is to be blamed other than ourselves? The government after all has made it amply clear that we should not deal with these unnamed bogus companies.

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Friday Slideshow – 10 Aug, ’07