Here ye! Hear ye!
You do bad bad stuff in Saudi and you’re a foreigner, you get your ‘ead chopped off. But if you don’t believe that, then, well, y’know, the very contemporary authorities in the other Magic Kingdom have devised quite a novel approach to deter those who contemplate jiggy-jiggying with it and do some “bad stuff” as determined by their impartial and equitable and divine and – well – just Saudi justice system. Like this:
Saudi Arabia has put the bodies of four Sri Lankans beheaded in Riyadh on display in public in an effort to deter a rising crime wave by foreigners.
See how creative that is? I am absolutely convinced that as Saudi – home of Islam’s two holiest sites – have now set a precedent for the rest of the Muslim Umma to follow, especially as this new deterrent is approved, condoned and sanctified by their highest authorities; therefore, I warrant that crucifixion after the Shari’a compliant beheading shall be the new norm. I expect that ardent followers of this generous interpretation of our religion, especially those in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and other “Key US Strategic Allies” shall perfect this new form of deterrent in order to reduce crime.
Believe me that won’t take too long. Expect new announcements and pictures of this very contemporary form of deterrent to appear on your news sources very soon. And it’s about time too, because:
“There is a pressing need to review many of the negative practices of foreigners in the kingdom,” al-Riyadh quoted Abdel-Rahman al-Luweiheq, who teaches at the Imam bin Saud University, as saying.
“Foreigners in the kingdom are implementing criminal plans made abroad,” he said, referring to mafia-like outfits. [source]
Which is a contention oft repeated by our very own lawmakers. Those illustrious doyens of faith, protectors of our morals and upholders of Islam and protectors of our culture and traditions against the unwashed uncouth heathen hordes who do not know their place within our pure race. Without our preeminent lawmakers and their symbiotic clerics, our divine ascendancy to Heaven must surely be interrupted if not derailed completely. After all, we can never know what is best for us nor can we make our own minds up as to what is right and what is wrong.
So ye foreigners be warned! Thou shalt not sully our purity! Thou shalt not dare think yourselves equal to us, the chosen people of Allah! Thou shall get your just deserts, as determined by our most learned and most just – in a contemporary form, of course, lest the world think of us as heinous barbarians.
But we don’t give a damn about what the world thinks of us anyway. We know better.