Moronic job applications

I’m not sure who started flushing, but I’ve been inundated with job applications from morons recently. All I get is this sort of thing:


When I open the document, it’s invariably from some twit who somehow managed to scrape through one of the “educational” institutions in Bahrain – yes, some are from Bahrain Uni too – and must be completely spaced out or think that whoever actually bothers to actually open their attachment (disregarding virus warnings) is completely stupid.

Why do they do this? Do they actually think that an employer would be impressed with their abilities, attention to detail and marketing skills based on the imbecilic email they send?

I think whoever creates a course teaching people how to write their CVs and how to approach employers would make a fortune.

Hey, that’s an idea worth pursuing!

  • Redbelt
    28 November 2009

    I can make such a course. But why? Hardly anyone wants to learn. Info is free on google.

  • mahmood
    28 November 2009

    information availability is not the problem. the problem is interpreting and understanding it. that needs analysis, time and effort and those hardly come cheap.

  • Tanya Degano
    28 November 2009

    Maybe she included a cover letter in the attachment. Don’t you think you’re being a tad harsh?

    • mahmood
      28 November 2009

      Not at all.

      I’ve seen hundreds of CVs and I could spot an inadequate effort a mile away. I’m not looking for a person who couldn’t give a damn whether he/she gets a job or not, I want someone I could depend on, who has enough pride in their work to actually make a contribution to the position s/he fulfils within the company. I most certainly am not looking for a person who hopes to land a job with minimal effort and with a as much aim as a buckshot.

      I strongly advise anyone sending an email asking for a job to at least include a couple of paragraphs right in the email – not in the attachment – to actually entice me to actually bother to open an attachment. It’s even better when I receive NO attachment whatsoever (they’re pointless and extra work anyway) and include all of their details, references, job history, education and strengths right in the body of the email.

  • NewMe
    28 November 2009

    every time i had to go through the ‘sad’ process of short listing for potential candidates.. i wonder about this?!
    Seriously, if those applicants are ‘really’ looking for a job, why don’t they bother to put some efforts!
    Yet.. Whomever decide to create such a course, needs to incorporate a how-to-session on attitudes and behaviors that would help in passing the interview..
    from what i noticed.. many ppl are very good on papers but have poor social skills..
    WB to the blog-sphere 🙂

  • Anonny
    28 November 2009

    If she hasn’t been taught how to do this properly, then it isn’t her fault. I got invaluable advice from my father on how to apply for a job. I’ve seen people here older than me produce 9-page CVs and all sorts of nonsense. As for Bahraini guys who are my father’s age .. what did their first CVs look like?

    To everybody reading this who is over 40 .. what did your first job application look like? How well did you advise the younger generation on how to apply for work?

    Mahmood, maybe you feel you don’t have time for this, but you could reject her application in a helpful manner by giving her pointers on how to apply to other employers. I’ve spent time helping Bahrainis in this sphere even though it wasn’t my business to do so and I wasn’t seeking any reward.

    • mahmood
      29 November 2009

      You can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. If you do, your usual reward is an insult. Believe me, I’ve tried before.

      No, what they do need is a bunch of refusals for them to finally realise that what they’re doing is completely inadequate and hence need a complete attitudes and expectations change.

  • Angelo
    29 November 2009

    sad, seriously sad! But I see hundreds of these daily..

    If someone really wants the job they should not just tell me why I should hire them, but also spell check properly, get a decently formatted resume attached and do some background on the requirements of the role on offer.

    I’ve binned many such resume emails in the past, recently I’ve taken to bringing such candidates to task for their mass-mails to HR departments in the TO fields, and there is some change – but very rare.

    I think some of our universities in Bahrain can do with a well-paid Career Advisor who is also a HR Consultant with previous in-house recruitment experience. And if someone of this nature can’t be hired, then outsource the function to some reliable executive search firms (who would be delighted to provide the service)- at the very least the academic institution would be investing back in their students and saving face for their open day career days.

  • exclamation mark
    30 November 2009

    I think the problem is with our universities and schools that are not oriented to market and business needs!

    at the last year of my graduation, and before attending the careers day @ UOB, all the advice I got was that the CV should be brief i.e one page with a covering letter…

    Creating a CV is like an art the we lack…

    • mahmood
      1 December 2009

      and with people who demand a job because they are local! Like it’s a god given right and they don’t have to complete nor produce any results.

      Unless that changes…

  • Solomon2
    8 December 2009

    “what they do need is a bunch of refusals for them to finally realise that what they’re doing is completely inadequate and hence need a complete attitudes and expectations change.”

    Yes, one learns from such failures. Giving someone who doesn’t qualify a job out of charity is a big mistake!

  • Insightsurfer
    10 December 2009

    ya, its posts like these that remind me of some comic skits on The Daily Show. i.e. the absurdities of every day follies.
    good times.

Eid Mubarak